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Well I did the deed. I broke up with him just now. And he revealed his true nature of being someone petty and immature. Thanks everyone for your opinions. I guess I can go hunting for a more mature and independent guy like I deserve.
Props to you. Knowing the girls that I know, I was expecting something like "I'll just give him another year and see if he changes completely for me."
As for enabling him, I've been trying my best to change him. Work on gettng him new clothes and actually function in society if he were to live alone. The reason why I want him to live alone for a bit is to experience independence without having a mother there to do his laundry and cook for him. I was only with him for 3 out of his 30 years of life. I'm pretty sure he didn't suddenly change into the person he was when I started dating him... I gave him one year to try to change his life around and he hasn't.
Endless drain? It doesn't make sense if I make more money than he does.... If anything I'd be the main breadwinner....
The only issue I have is that he wont' be able to help me if I'm suddenly sick and dying of cancer. He might expect me to still cook and clean while undergoing chemo. It's interesting that you are blaming me for his lack of ambition. Or is it the norm for 30 year olds to have never lived by themselves before and never have paid the bills?
Do yourself a favor. Next guy you hook up with, dont think you will change anything. If you dont like the guy for who he is, dont think you'll change him. You don't change people.
I think that the OP isn't giving us the full story. She went out with the guy for three years knowing what he was like. Now she claims that she was trying to change him and that when she started going out with him he had probably been like this before? So what exactly brought you two together and when did you learn that your new then 27 year-old boyfriend was living at home and gaming all the time when he wasn't working part-time??? I still don't see why you expected him to live on his own to experience independence -- many people go straight from living at home to living with a partner or spouse. One has to wonder if he didn't give into your demands because he was skeptical about your own commitment to the relationship. And why at age 30 were you hanging onto this relationship?
I'd like to see numbers to back that up (at least in average income areas). I don't think I know a single person who didn't have non-romantic roommates between living with their parents and living with a spouse/SO. If they did, it was at age 18-19 not THIRTY. Seriously, who lives at home for their entire 20s and won't move out when they have the means to do so?
if supporting a guy that wants to stay at home and play WoW the rest of his life while u take care of him and maybe occasionally go to the movies sounds like something u want to do, then by all means continue
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKtoWAtoUT
I'd like to see numbers to back that up (at least in average income areas). I don't think I know a single person who didn't have non-romantic roommates between living with their parents and living with a spouse/SO. If they did, it was at age 18-19 not THIRTY. Seriously, who lives at home for their entire 20s and won't move out when they have the means to do so?
I'd like to see numbers to back that up (at least in average income areas). I don't think I know a single person who didn't have non-romantic roommates between living with their parents and living with a spouse/SO. If they did, it was at age 18-19 not THIRTY. Seriously, who lives at home for their entire 20s and won't move out when they have the means to do so?
We only have her side of the story, though. It's not uncommon nowadays for people to live with their parents into their 30s. Times have changed. This is certainly normal in other cultures, and common in Europe. The only real issue seems to be the gaming which suggests a possible addiction or psychological issue, ie. a mental health rather than "maturity" issue. But in terms of maturity, why was she putting off her responsibilities? Why wasn't she married in her early 20s, had multiple children, owns a house, two cars, working 12-16 hours a day to pay off a mountain of bills? Seems to me she used her degree as an excuse to delay things and now that she's in her 30s and past her prime she thinks everything and everyone has to fall into place according to her "plan".
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1986pacecar
The guy was a loser. Living at home at the age of 30 playing hours of video games with mommy doing his laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. screams of a boy trapped in a man's body. You made the right decision although it took you long enough. Let him play his video games and you can move on to someone a little more mature.
Why wasn't she married in her early 20s, had multiple children, owns a house, two cars, working 12-16 hours a day to pay off a mountain of bills?
Just because your brother is a scrub doesn't mean everyone is. The OP is a normal functioning human being, and chose not to be an idiot by accomplishing the things you have laid out above.
Just because your brother is a scrub doesn't mean everyone is. The OP is a normal functioning human being, and chose not to be an idiot by accomplishing the things you have laid out above.
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