Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Smart, because I'm willing to bet if you move in together you'll just be doing everything his parents are doing for him now.
I'd leave and not look back. IMO if he was interested in changing or moving out he would have done so by now.
Yeah, well I would suggest she finds out before actually marrying. For three years they play video games and go to movies, not exactly the best experience for figuring out if you are a good match for the rest of your lives.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
It is one thing to live with parents for financial reasons but to be distressed or afraid to live on his own is another. I'd be worried that you'll just take on the role were his mother left off.
Why is he afraid to live alone? He sounds like he's a gradeschool kid afraid to go off to summer camp without mommy and daddy.
This guy has not grown up. He has no financial goals, plays video games all his spare time, has no plans to move out of his parents' house, and is deliberately making the minimum he needs to get by, because he's comfortable living like a child, earning a modest allowance to pay for his toys.
You're wasting your time with this guy. He's going nowhere fast, and he's happy about it. He's more into his "lifestyle" than he is into you, is how it looks from my perspective behind the screen.
I knew a guy that lived at home til he was about 40 or so. His mom even did his laundry for him. He made good money too, had a real job, wasn't like he was struggling along working Starbucks or whatever.
He was able to save a lot of money and invested quite well, so I hear, worth a good chunk of change.
Whatever works for people. I moved out of the house when I was 21 which I thought was old at the time, but it's certainly much younger than 40 something.
I think in western traditions it's more common to leave the house at a younger age, not as much in other parts of the world.
There's more to compatibility than just having the same hobbies. If he is dependent to the point where he can't do his own chores and needs you to buy him a button-down shirt because he doesn't know how to dress for the occasion, and you are already three years in, it doesn't sound like things are going to improve. You may just have to cut your losses and find someone on the same maturity level as yourself.
I knew a guy that lived at home til he was about 40 or so. His mom even did his laundry for him. He made good money too, had a real job, wasn't like he was struggling along working Starbucks or whatever.
He was able to save a lot of money and invested quite well, so I hear, worth a good chunk of change.
Whatever works for people. I moved out of the house when I was 21 which I thought was old at the time, but it's certainly much younger than 40 something.
I think in western traditions it's more common to leave the house at a younger age, not as much in other parts of the world.
That scenario makes a certain amt. of sense. But the OP's guy isn't saving up for anything, and doesn't really have a "real" job. A friend of mine has worked in construction since coming to the US legally, doesn't have his journeyman's license, but has always made between $19 and $25/hr, mainly because he had some training in plumbing and electrical, and demanded decent pay. (Somehow he's pulled this off for over 10 years, without even knowing English.) The OP's guy is happy to be making no effort at all, and making the minimum people in construction make, as an unskilled laborer. He's not interested in upgrading his skills to earn more.
So he's 30, has a college degree, and a low-paying job unrelated to his degree, which his father found for him. This is not the picture of a mature man who is motivated to begin his adult life. If he really wanted to save money to buy a house, he would be out looking for a better paying job.
Well I did the deed. I broke up with him just now. And he revealed his true nature of being someone petty and immature. Thanks everyone for your opinions. I guess I can go hunting for a more mature and independent guy like I deserve.
Ambition your screen names says it all. Part of relationship compatibility has to do with having similar ambition or lack therefore.
Construction hands make more than $9-10 an hour---burger flippers make that. So you might not have all the financial facts.
Now that you've had a showdown, he might surprise you in a few days with a sensible plan. It is possible that he was not hearing what you were saying. Or he was not communicating his goals well.
Take a deep breath and don't do anything contra to your values--like get involved with someone else right away. Concentrate on doing what you enjoy.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
