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I have a feeling that all the guys telling you to date as young as possible are probably in their 20's to early 30's. Just a hunch.
40 is not old. It's not too late for happiness. Cut out the toxic things in your life and focus on things that make you happy. If you want to get married and have a family - just look for the right person. It's much more important to find the right person than to find a woman as young as possible to provide you with children. First of all, no woman knows how fertile she is until she starts trying. A woman can be infertile at any age. Better to pick the right person to share your life with and deal with anything that might come your way than to pick someone based on their youth and end up divorced after a couple of years. Life can be hard - you need to find someone that makes the whole journey better - not just more aesthetically pleasing!
I'm turning 40 soon and while I'm in a different place in my life than you are, I feel your pain! It's hard! But I look around me and I see people living full, happy lives well into their 80's. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste precious time worrying about 40. Just live!
Thanks for the insight I really appreciate it. A friend of mine who I work with keeps telling don't always think that if I see a happy little family that things are not always happy. There are challenges that happy little family needs to face everyday of their lives.
The only thing going good for me is that I have a good career. I am going to be buying a new house after this winter. The projects I plan to do with the new place and things that I want to buy to make my house look. Awesome are making me happy. I like coming up with new ideas as to what I will do with the new place. Plus I am going on vacation to Cozunel in the first week of February. So as relationship and to have a family, is my life over for that since I see younger people and people my age already settling down? Is it too late? How about all the plans I am planning to do? Should I just forget about it?
I don't understand, OP. You seem to have a lot going for you. Why do you feel like you've wasted your life away? That's so absurd and so far from your reality, that it made me laugh. There are a lot of women in your age range who would be interested in meeting you. Why are you ready to throw away all that potential? Get out and enjoy yourself! Mix. Mingle. Chat.
Do you see how the bolded in the first paragraph contradicts everything in the second paragraph? OP, you're not thinking straight. You seem to be trying very hard to sell yourself on a negative outlook, even though everything is going great for you.
Furthermore, you have no idea if the marriages all those people are getting into at a young age will last. Many marriages contracted in the 20's fall apart in the 30's. You did the right thing by waiting until you were (hopefully) more mature, and could exercise better judgement in your choice of partner. If you give up now, just because of some odd deadline you have in your head, you really will be throwing opportunity away. Get off the internet, and get out into your community. Enjoy group activities of various sorts. Meet people. There are women out there looking for a good, stable guy your age. Find them.
OP, if your ex went to the effort of looking you up after years of no contact to send you engagement pictures and tell you about her upcoming wedding, that's pretty pathetic on her part.
Mod cut: reference to post which has been deleted. the answer to your post is that, no, it is not "too late" to get the things you want in life.
Does this mean you WILL get the things you want in life? Dunno. You need to examine why you don't have the things you want, and if you are doing anything in particular that is hindering you from achieving them. You generally need to reevaluate your situation, your actions, your approach, your habits, etc. if you don't like where you are in life and want to make changes. Look at why you aren't getting the things you value. And don't get too hung up on how your life lines up with the choices of others...concern yourself with yourself and not how it stacks up in your mind to what others have.
The higher the numbers in your bank account will allow you to attract women with lower numbers in their age.
Don't think so? Look at Trump.
DO think so? Look at our "perma-single" bounce-back kid, Brahmabull, who apparently has been making 6 figures or close to it right out of college, has a fancy car and a nice condo, but can't get the attention of any women he's interested in. The "have money, will travel" approach to attracting women is bunk.
I don't understand, OP. You seem to have a lot going for you. Why do you feel like you've wasted your life away? That's so absurd and so far from your reality, that it made me laugh. There are a lot of women in your age range who would be interested in meeting you. Why are you ready to throw away all that potential? Get out and enjoy yourself! Mix. Mingle. Chat.
Do you see how the bolded in the first paragraph contradicts everything in the second paragraph? OP, you're not thinking straight. You seem to be trying very hard to sell yourself on a negative outlook, even though everything is going great for you.
Furthermore, you have no idea if the marriages all those people are getting into at a young age will last. Many marriages contracted in the 20's fall apart in the 30's. You did the right thing by waiting until you were (hopefully) more mature, and could exercise better judgement in your choice of partner. If you give up now, just because of some odd deadline you have in your head, you really will be throwing opportunity away. Get off the internet, and get out into your community. Enjoy group activities of various sorts. Meet people. There are women out there looking for a good, stable guy your age. Find them.
Thank you very much I appreciate you insight on this😀
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
DO think so? Look at our "perma-single" bounce-back kid, Brahmabull, who apparently has been making 6 figures or close to it right out of college, has a fancy car and a nice condo, but can't get the attention of any women he's interested in. The "have money, will travel" approach to attracting women is bunk.
Who cares if you are right or wrong. Does it matter? Stop ruminating about it, as there is no definitive "answer" and you are just wasting your mental and emotional energy trying to find one.
I have a feeling that all the guys telling you to date as young as possible are probably in their 20's to early 30's. Just a hunch.
40 is not old. It's not too late for happiness. Cut out the toxic things in your life and focus on things that make you happy. If you want to get married and have a family - just look for the right person. It's much more important to find the right person than to find a woman as young as possible to provide you with children. First of all, no woman knows how fertile she is until she starts trying. A woman can be infertile at any age. Better to pick the right person to share your life with and deal with anything that might come your way than to pick someone based on their youth and end up divorced after a couple of years. Life can be hard - you need to find someone that makes the whole journey better - not just more aesthetically pleasing!
I'm turning 40 soon and while I'm in a different place in my life than you are, I feel your pain! It's hard! But I look around me and I see people living full, happy lives well into their 80's. Life is what you make of it. Don't waste precious time worrying about 40. Just live!
I can't understand it either, but I know people who do the same.
One of my friends sees life as a checklist instead of experiences. She went to college-check. Found a man and got married-check. Started her career-check. Now she's freaking out because she's *gasp* 30 and isn't knocked up yet!! It's ridiculous.
There was a thread on here last week from a girl who thought her life was over because she hadn't met anyone by the age of 30. Another girl responded by saying her life is over because she is 25 and unmarried.
My observation of people like this is that they are so caught up in timelines and society's expectations that their lives end up being unhappy and stressful. It's a shame, and the OP needs to get away from that frame of thinking if he is going to truly be happy.
Society foists milestones upon people. There are expected milestones by certain ages. Personally I think this is complete rubbish but we should not deny how powerful such notions are.
One of the reasons there are so many disfunctional families, unfit parents, neglected children, financial hardship, etc, etc is the power of milestones to drive people to do things and make decisions that are the worst possible ones given their personal characteristics.
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