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Yet in the vast majority of the world families live together why in the west is it taboo to live with your family?
Even in a number of Western (read European) countries it's nowhere near the taboo it appears to be amongst WASPs and their various imitators here in the US.
American Exceptionalism.
We'll see how kind the 21st Century is to certain long standing American notions.
In my part of the world, houses are cheap – but so are apartments. The real cost of housing is in the maintenance. I bought my property 15 years ago, and it's still worth LESS today that it did back then. But maintenance costs mount. Still, the locals deprecate renting as a "sucker's game", and something downmarket. Lots of marginally employed people are struggling as homeowners, mistakenly thinking that they're getting ahead; whereas in reality they'd be better off renting an apartment… or even better buying that house, but doing so across generational and family lines.
I've seen several young men – who have no problem dating – mired in the labor and expense of house-ownership. Their lifestyle would be better suited to renting, but they refuse to do so, from hardscrabble country pride. I've also seen men exiting fractious and expensive divorces, and immediately buying a house. I don't begrudge them a speedy recovery from divorce, and wish them all of the best… but why be weighed down with a house? It's the prevailing culture.
I'm all in favor of self-reliance and personal responsibility. But the greater objective is economic vitality, by frugal living and long-term financial planning. Sometimes, an irascibly fanatical independence is just dumb. Sometimes, privacy – while not necessarily expensive to achieve – just isn't rationally justified.
Whether I am dating, or just chatting with somebody as a friend (male or female, young or old), I most respect the rational choice – which may or may not be the maximally independent choice. But in America, and especially in middle-America, we've so fetishized and glorified independence, that we insist on it, even when financially it is irresponsible.
This is why mortgage brokers and repo men are at the pinnacle of success here in the good old US of A!
Eventually, the boomers will die off and the Millennials will inherit the earth. There is no reason to believe they won't be the richest-ever generation. They will have more income and wealth stratification than boomers but the d-bag Goldman-Sachs finance guys will all be millennials. I can remember saying that there was no way I'd ever be able to afford the house I grew up in at age 25. That changed. We all want immediate gratification but it doesn't work that way.
Actually, the Silent were the generation with the best elder outcomes. Boomers are riding a decline - War Babies will be OK, mid Boom less so, late Boom, disaster. By the time Millies are in their 40s and 50s the Boomer loot will have been p____d away.
True. But the person in question could have taken that cash, and invested it 50/50 in an S&P 500 index fund and a European equity index fund, in October 2007. Even if he/she had the fortitude to make to trades or panic-moves, how would he/she have done? Or, the very same activity - OK, maybe just the S&P part - could have taken place in March of 2009. The difference is luck.
That would be me!
Each situation is unique of course. In my case I put money into an S&P fund each month at the same time. I've done this since I graduated college. At the time I got the money I had a very large percentage of my savings in stocks. I still do actually. This money came to me at time when the market wasn't so hot and it seemed foolish to plop it all in the stock market. At the time I didn't know if putting money into more stock would be like catching a falling knife and I'd lose more money. Interest rates weren't good either. Still aren't. Plus with real estate the way it is where I live it was a good time to get out of renting and buy.
It was a matter of diversification and wanting to own my own place and being able to paint the walls if I wanted to and not have the cheapest appliances and low quality insulation.
I have no regrets and strongly feel as if I made a smart move. If you look at it in terms of equity, I doubled my money. If my boyfriend and I stay together long term if we go so far as to marry, I plan to sell my house and combine the money with his for us to get one together. He has his dream house all planned out and I really like it.
Actually, the Silent were the generation with the best elder outcomes. Boomers are riding a decline - War Babies will be OK, mid Boom less so, late Boom, disaster. By the time Millies are in their 40s and 50s the Boomer loot will have been p____d away.
I wasn't talking about elderly outcomes. I was talking about sheer wealth. The 1%er millennials are going to be staggeringly wealthy. The problem is that the bottom half is going to get caught up in the income and wealth stratification problem.
. If by 35 years old a guy can't even support himself to the point of living independently of his parents, how is he going to be able to ever afford to support kids?
I ask you this, what if the guy has no intention of ever getting married or wanting children and does not want to share a space with a significant other.
If a man is 35 and still living with his mother, he has never learned to take care of himself. Personally, I don't want to take over the care and feeding of a helpless baby bird who can do nothing for himself and needs to have his mommy do everything for him. I don't want to take over as his mother.
what if the guy is pretty self-sufficient (has his own bills, can cook,clean, do laundry)?
Even though lets say the parents live close and have a nice big house and are cool parents who give you your privacy?
And as your parents get older you're there to help them just like they helped you as you grew older and they give you their house i.e mortgage free while helping around the house, do the lawn, snow shoveling in winters,
The satisfaction of not being in debt while being there for your folks as they grow older.
Self Respecting?
Agree with this, very good situation you phrased here.
Despite all the back and forth, it all boils down to independence. Since this question referenced women, I think most are looking to ensure they're not dating someone who is looking for a mommy replacement. No one wants to be a parent to their partner, because that person doesn't know how to be an adult, cook, clean, do laundry, be responsible for bill-paying, caring for their dwelling, etc.
What if they know how to do all of that stuff, but live with their parents?.
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