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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
Maybe I wasn't clear. I'm not talking sbout simple physical attraction, but sexual chemistry where you both know you want each other...and it builds.. You know it...you both feel it. That HAS to be there for me.
I hear what you're saying, but you're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm talking about sexual chemistry in the bedroom. You can be 1000% turned on, mentally and physically, and when you actual go to have sex... boom, the chemistry is NOT there. Despite everything your head, your heart, and your body was telling you up until that point.
If you've never gotten to know someone well, and been completely turned on by them (by their mind, their eyes, their demeanor, their touches, their smell, the idea of skin to skin (i.e. in all aspects)), then never found out you didn't have sexual chemistry, congratulations. You're very fortunate. Its happened to me several times.
What would motivate someone (you) to jump into bed without ANY kind of connection? I mean, there has to be something to want to do the jumping?
Why would you beat yourself up over something you wanted to do at the time because some future time something happened?
This does not make sense to me.
LOL. Seriously? 1) By "connection", I meant a non-physical one. And 2) because I discovered that the person was nothing more than face value. I felt empty afterwards. I don't even know if men experience that feeling....we are such different creatures.
LOL. Seriously? 1) By "connection", I meant a non-physical one. And 2) because I discovered that the person was nothing more than face value. I felt empty afterwards. I don't even know if men experience that feeling....we are such different creatures.
This is what I don't understand. Female here. Why would his being only what he appeared leave you empty later when what he appeared was good enough in the moment?
I hear what you're saying, but you're not hearing what I'm saying. I'm talking about sexual chemistry in the bedroom. You can be 1000% turned on, mentally and physically, and when you actual go to have sex... boom, the chemistry is NOT there. Despite everything your head, your heart, and your body was telling you up until that point.
If you've never gotten to know someone well, and been completely turned on by them (by their mind, their eyes, their demeanor, their touches, their smell, the idea of skin to skin (i.e. in all aspects)), then never found out you didn't have sexual chemistry, congratulations. You're very fortunate. Its happened to me several times.
I am hearing you. But what I am saying...and said several posts ago, is that I've never ever had that happen. Have I had bad sex? Yes....in every case (2) I was making the mistake of having sex for the sake of having sex. If I had waited, and learned more about us, neither if those incidents would ever have taken place.
This is what I don't understand. Female here. Why would his being only what he appeared leave you empty later when what he appeared was good enough in the moment?
Because in the end....that was really not at all what I wanted. .You don't know what "heat of the moment" means, I guess?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChessieMom
I am hearing you. But what I am saying...and said several posts ago, is that I've never ever had that happen. Have I had bad sex? Yes....in every case (2) I was making the mistake of having sex for the sake of having sex. If I had waited, and learned more about us, neither if those incidents would ever have taken place.
Ok, congrats. Two though, that's nothing, so, huh. Ok. Congrats if you've only had bad sex twice. That's amazing. I think most of my lady friends would be jaw dropped if someone said they only had bad sex twice. The worst thing is to really like someone and have bad sex, or worse, not sexual chemistry. Happens all the time. You're very fortunate.
Because in the end....that was really not at all what I wanted. .
So for you, unless all is on the table, some is not good enough? I mean, do your thing. Know thyself! And that is cool. It is just not something I experience.
Quote:
You don't know what "heat of the moment" means, I guess?
Because in the end....that was really not at all what I wanted. .You don't know what "heat of the moment" means, I guess?
I get what you're saying. With the whole theme of this thread, when I think about the guys with whom I went on only two or three dates, I'm glad that I didn't sleep with most of them. And it's not because I don't like sex. I would have been upset with myself if I slept with someone after a short time and it didn't go anywhere.
So for you, unless all is on the table, some is not good enough? I mean, do your thing. Know thyself! And that is cool. It is just not something I experience.!
Unless all is on the table? No idea what you mean by that. Same goes your second statement. Sounds like you are very different from me. We all are different...no big deal. I know myself very well now....I've been learning for a very long time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by somebodynew
I do! I am a fan!
I find that decisions made in that time are usually bad ones.
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