Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm a 33 year old female. This is the first time I'm posting something here seeking suggestions & advice . I really need them right now please.
So, like 2 years ago I met a guy online. I'm a 33 year old , independent girl in Technology field in DC , looking for a relationship . I met a guy online in 2014 . We both exchanged numbers, company information & etc. He is a CEO of a defense consulting firm in DC & not to mention he is a millionaire . The reason I mention this is b/c he did not hide his company information in DC, his desk office phone & soon we both started texting / emailing to his work email & work number directly. That gave me a lot of trust & confidence that he is not playing around & etc.I have informed him I have no kids, never married & looking for a relation & not games. He mentioned he is in the similar boat, never married & no kids whatsoever.
Within a week he asked me out but it was me, I was a bit travelling for work on a off & also wanted to first text & talk few times over phone , get to know him & then go on a date in person. So, I kinda gave a rain check a couple of times & soon I had to relocate to Chicago for work ( temporary assignment for a year). When I left to IL , I did not even make a point to text him since I was busy myself relocating. He soon texted me again within two weeks gap but surprisingly since even though I relocated he continued to communicate, call me, text me long distance. He would check on me almost every week if I didn't call him or text him. I was really surprised & loved all the attention he was giving me. He continued to live in DC & I continued to live in IL . He again asked me out like three to four times in a year but it never worked out. I'm the one to blame not him. I was exploring having fun in Chicago that I didn't bother much to make actual plans. One day I have asked him if I can add him on FB. He indicated he has deleted FB years ago after starting to work for Pentagon since he has a Security Clearance & etc, so he avoids social networking altogether.
I felt it made sense & never kind of suspected him since I would directly text to his cell or office or personal email etc. We both never bothered to even exchange home phone numbers. But he would show me all the interest, telling me how beautiful I am, (He would ask me my pictures every weekend when I get ready & go out). telling me how amazing I am & that he is falling in love with me & can't wait to see me. He would never ignore my texts & no matter where he is around the world travelling he would always respond ( though delayed by a day or two sometimes).
He would text me without fail on all important occasions like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas without fail. I meant, like Thanksgiving is a special day we spend with our family. For a guy I haven't even met I would not waste my time texting to him but he would take time on these special days & would wish me to make sure I had happy holidays.
This continued until last week. Last Sunday, I was on my computer & kind felt like doing a background check on him. ( Not even sure why but perhaps god made me have this feeling) . I sat in front of my laptop & used few sites googling his first name, last name , company information etc. Surprisingly, I found out that he is infact 'married' man with a wife & two kinds living in the suburban DC in a 3 million dollar mansion. He is not 34 ( as he claimed), the site claimed he is 44.
The site also pointed me to few pictures posted by his wife on few social networking sites.
My heart just broke. I was in denial the entire day, Not sure how to ask or approach him with the evidence I found, I was debating the entire day. That evening, I went out with friends, out of sorrow I had alcohol & got into a DUI. ( My first DUI ever in life)
That was how much I was heartbroken. The next morning, I build up all the courage & texted him with all the evidence I found asking him why he had to lie to me like this. The texts were very long & detailed.
I have informed him of how heartbroken I was that I found out he is married with kids. & that I started to love him, he was already close to my heart though we never met & I have not expected all this lies from him. I told him how unsettling it has been that I myself got in trouble with the law for drunk driving. I told him I have been weeping for days & it has been very upsetting me since I liked him so much & never expected this behavior from him. I have informed him I wanted to date him after we meet in person but he lied to me & how broken my heart is, how devastated it has been with the fact that he lied his age, his marital status , lied about his kids & etc.
The guy never responded to my long texts - why?
I waited for a day, two days, called him, it went to VM , wrote him emails but he never bothered to even respond, apologize & say sorry for breaking my heart.
why did he not give me closure. why did he not apologise or confess? Did he plead his fifth? was he afraid if he apologizes, it would be an indirect confession & I could take him to court & seek his money? ( He is a millionaire & I am not)
I pleaded him to respond, reply, give me a reason as to why he did it but he totally ignored my texts
why? - Did he not care for my feelings? - A guy who would 'take time' to text m on Thanksgiving, Halloween, Valentines day, Christmas day, NYE , who cared for my feelings so much, has suddenly disappeared when I confronted him with evidence??
was he really afraid I might approach his wife ? did he not care for my feelings?
did he not love me whatsoever nor cared for my feelings?
I loved him equally & he was close to my heart. We both wanted to date each other soon after I moved back to DC & wanted to go on dates..Please help me ..why did he lie to me in the first place - was he afraid he would lose me had he disclosed we was married ..2 years is a long time for us to text back & forth, we had the connection developed..it's so painful..please tell me what would he have thought about not disclosing he is married..
especially guys, I want to understand what was he thinking all this while & why did he not respond me & give me a closure!! Please help!!!!
Mod cut. The guy was probably just having a bit of on-line fun. Not sure why he would disclose his work information, that is kind of risky. But the woman sounds completely unglued ...
He did not right away disclose his work information.I would say like three months into talking , he disclosed his work email & phone that I gained a bit of confidence & started trusting him since I directly know his work contact deteils.
Why did he disclose? Obviousky the three months of chatting led him to trust me as well & he was interested to take the communication to next level .As i said, it was always mutual.
Calling me unglued is not fair.I'm here for a reason, I got catfished or blah blah..but yes, i'm here seeking diff opinions of the circumstances that led to lie.
Be wise, be curious, be savvy, be smart. Make it a priority to know exactly who and what you are dealing with in any relationship that you allow into your life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
Not sure how to ask or approach him with the evidence I found, I was debating the entire day.
Learn how to establish honest communication with potential interests.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
That evening, I went out with friends, out of sorrow I had alcohol & got into a DUI. ( My first DUI ever in life)
If you can't maintain on alcohol then certainly don't drive while under the influence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
The guy never responded to my long texts - why?
After all that you have discovered do you really wonder why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
why did he not give me closure. why did he not apologise or confess?
Because he does not care. Welcome to the world of humans. There are all types out there...you can never trust a person you have never even met much less a person that you have met. There are a lot of untrustworthy people in the world. You have just been burned by one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
Did he plead his fifth? was he afraid if he apologizes, it would be an indirect confession & I could take him to court & seek his money? ( He is a millionaire & I am not)
This is a very strange speculation. You have mentioned million/millionaire at least 3 times in this post. I highly doubt he was worried about you taking him to court and seeking his money. What was the crime?
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
I pleaded him to respond, reply, give me a reason as to why he did it but he totally ignored my texts.
Again the world is full of people just like him. Learn from it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by janet16
especially guys, I want to understand what was he thinking all this while & why did he not respond me & give me a closure!! Please help!!!!
If you have not noticed, lot of married men in high positions have extramarital affairs. For some odd reason it just seems to come with the territory.
Janet, congrats , you have eight pages out of your own scam .. hahaha.. your wording says to me your quite intelligent.. you have far too much time on your hands and could be put to better use.... you might even be the next Jackie Collins if you put your mind to it..... How your getting so many answers is baffling even from myself.... Cant wait for your next threads...now wheres the rolls eyes when you need it....
No we spoke over phone usually in the evenings around 7:00..since we had time diff & all, he was in Eastcoast , I was in Midwest, we spoke ocassionally but texting was more convenient since we had time diff & also that I was single myself , I preferred much texting.
Two years was a good time to develop some emotions , I'm not saying I'm sitting & weeping 18 hours a day. I feel painful yes, but my heart is just in denial even now , this never happened to me in my entire life.
He cared for me so much over texts & calls that is paining me even now. I only think he started this casually was lied but eventually the connection grew & I guess he was afraid If he would disclose I would end everything.
Because, I ended it for some reasons all the communication in between a few times & he would call me , plead me to continue & would state he can't wait to see me & hangout in DC once I move back
Why only 18 hours a day crying... what do you do in the rest of the time.... youve mentioned 18 before or since in your messages.. is that number relevant.. your wording looks to me as if you are foreign , could I be right.... Miss Marples ..
Odds are you were not talking to who you thought you were talking too. Its way too easy for someone to take someone else's identity, especially if you have NEVER MET THEM. Be reasonable. Why would someone like you describe be content to just talk to you for 2 years. Think about it.
This continued until last week. Last Sunday, I was on my computer & kind felt like doing a background check on him. ( Not even sure why but perhaps god made me have this feeling) . I sat in front of my laptop & used few sites googling his first name, last name , company information etc.
Quote:
Please i'm not dumb not to google him
.Ofcourse I did a google search the day we had our first communication back in 2014.
Last week i paid to a 'detective site' $$$ amount ,that would give you detailed background on someone like done by an actual detective .Why did I do it . it's my subconcious,I felt i have been chatting to him for a long time & felt I needed to do actual background check rather than googke.
Please for certain he is not a scammer. I would call to his desk directly, text & email to his cell phone directly & also his office email.
This continued for two years. I kinda had that trust since he would communicate directly through his office email & cell.
I think he may have been looking for affection outside of marriage & came across me.
Though it may have started casually, overtime it continued & he invested a lot of time & patience to keep me on track.
Like he would be in PA for Thanksgiving with his family & would text me at 6:00 PM in the evening wishing be a great time with my family.
He would be in Bahamas on V day but made a point to text , call me wishing me a happy V day. He did invest a lot & eventually I started paying attention to his texts since I liked all the attention he was giving me
What you know about him to be honest? If I were you I would not even bother writing to a forum about this. For a real scammer is not a problem call as you to some one just using your phone number as caller ID. It really happening girl. Forget about it make sure that you meet in person next one. Instead apping ,popping what ever you call it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
