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My dad was the high wage earner but let's my mother make all the decisions.
They don't move on to better women. In every single case they have moved onto women that depend on them for everything. Like women with no jobs, money or credit.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
My dad was the high wage earner but let's my mother make all the decisions.
They don't move on to better women. In every single case they have moved onto women that depend on them for everything. Like women with no jobs, money or credit.
Was your mother a divorcee with kids from two different fathers?
Was your mother a divorcee with kids from two different fathers?
If not, its not analogous.
No they married late 20's had kids together and have stayed together.
Just because you don't want to raise someone else's kids, does not mean that other men won't. My current be had no issues with buying stuff and doing for my kids. The kids is not our issue. If I could accept having a shadow all the time and giving up my freedom, we would be perfect together.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
No they married late 20's had kids together and have stayed together.
Just because you don't want to raise someone else's kids, does not mean that other men won't. My current be had no issues with buying stuff and doing for my kids. The kids is not our issue. If I could accept having a shadow all the time and giving up my freedom, we would be perfect together.
Again, if you're for real, its not that other men don't foster/step parent. But wanting another man to be a provider, then pay for other peoples kids, then be subservient to you, is not going to happen. Out of one side of your mouth you say you want a manly man, out of the other you say you want a subservient one.
That's not the same as other men nothing being willing to be a father figure, that happens not infrequently.
No they married late 20's had kids together and have stayed together.
Just because you don't want to raise someone else's kids, does not mean that other men won't. My current be had no issues with buying stuff and doing for my kids. The kids is not our issue. If I could accept having a shadow all the time and giving up my freedom, we would be perfect together.
Good luck with that. Most men want something out of a relationship. seems like you are just in it to find a dad for the kids, any dad for the kids and a handyman to do the chores. Doesn't sound like a very attractive scenario for most guys with options.
Again, if you're for real, its not that other men don't foster/step parent. But wanting another man to be a provider, then pay for other peoples kids, then be subservient to you, is not going to happen. Out of one side of your mouth you say you want a manly man, out of the other you say you want a subservient one.
That's not the same as other men nothing being willing to be a father figure, that happens not infrequently.
I find that I have lots of contradictions, which probably explains why I struggle with relationships. I want someone to be there when I want them, do what I need, when I need it, but leave me alone when I need to be a free spirit.
I am probably not good with the compromise part. I tend to just barrel through doing my own thing. I always wanted the guy that fits into my life, not one that I have to turn my life upside down to accommodate.
One of the things I got onto my bf about last night, is that I no longer feel like I have freedom. I can't just stop into the bar on my way home from work for a drink without having to answer to him. I am use to being a free spirit that just does what I want, when I want. I was like that as a teenager also. My mom would call me, asking when I would be home, and sometimes I was at a beach 8-10 hours away. She never knew where I would turn up. I need freedom.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
The give and take is hard for me. I look at it as though they are trying to change me and who I am. I don't want to be changed. Love me how I am, or don't love me at all. They usually take the don't love me at all. I admit I am hard to love. The guys that can handle me tend to be the bad boys that have lived on the edge. The good guys don't know what to do with me at all. And the bad boys are not interested in the family/ wife life. Which I do want to go along with my bar/ bike fun wild life. Tall order apparently
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
Lol this sounds like me. I will walk all over pushover guys. I own everything in every relationship. My sons father didn't even own the truck he drove every day. I did. Actually I still own my ex husbands truck, and we have been split up over a decade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
I am not career driven either. I want my man to be the provider. I may have him working 80 hours a week to provide my every whim... But I want a manly man.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LowonLuck
For me, I don't need a man to be able to buy a house or drive a nice car. I want someone to help make things easier for me, cuddle with after a hard day, travel with, help with all the things my dad still does, etc.
So you want a guy that.....
1) Is the provider, makes the money, mows the lawn, fixes stuff, etc.
2) Is manly and takes charge, except when it comes to you
3) Is meek and will let you be in charge when it comes to anything that directly affects your life
4) Is willing to be a father figure (but if I recall you don't want a guy with his own kids)
5) Is warm and cuddly when you want, but
6) Lets you have total freedom to go out whenever to do whatever you want when you don't want warm and cuddly (and he damn well better have the house painted when you get home).
It seems like you want a guy that has a great job but otherwise stands in the corner doing whatever you tell him to do whenever you tell him to do it. I think the odds of finding this guy are pretty slim.
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