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Here's kind of a beef I have with Tinder and OLD in general. So, I swap a few messages with the female, things seem good, then I ask them on a date. They say "I want to get to know you a little better first." So we swap dozens more messages and then I want to ghost her because I'm like "ok, is that enough now, can we going on a friggin date already?" But by then I don't even want to see them because they exhausted me with frivolous messages and conversation that we could have been having over sushi and beers.
Here's kind of a beef I have with Tinder and OLD in general. So, I swap a few messages with the female, things seem good, then I ask them on a date. They say "I want to get to know you a little better first." So we swap dozens more messages and then I want to ghost her because I'm like "ok, is that enough now, can we going on a friggin date already?" But by then I don't even want to see them because they exhausted me with frivolous messages and conversation that we could have been having over sushi and beers.
Mght be the type of women you're messaging. Are they usually older women?
I always message women between the ages of 18-27, and have never encountered this issue. If I did, I'd probably move on.
To your first part, very good point. However, let's be real the fact of the matter is there's more men on tinder looking to hook-up than women. Whether it's Ockupid, Tinder, whatever, women will always have more notifications than men. No man on Tinder says in their bio "not here for hook-ups" (which is the dumbest thing ever. How do women go to a hook-up app not looking to hook-up. I digress). Women are the pursued they are always going to have more evidence of men trying to get at them both on/offline. Men are always going to try to get what they can
Not true. I've seen several men write in their profiles that they weren't looking for hookups. Just because some are there for that purpose doesn't mean everyone is. From a woman's perspective, why would being presented with a few photos and maybe a few words make you more likely to want to hook up with someone than on a real dating site where you'd have more information about the guy? Most men aren't so visually appealing that women think "Damn, I want to hit that!" just by looking at their photos.
To your first part, very good point. However, let's be real the fact of the matter is there's more men on tinder looking to hook-up than women. Whether it's Ockupid, Tinder, whatever, women will always have more notifications than men. No man on Tinder says in their bio "not here for hook-ups" (which is the dumbest thing ever. How do women go to a hook-up app not looking to hook-up. I digress). Women are the pursued they are always going to have more evidence of men trying to get at them both on/offline. Men are always going to try to get what they can
To your second part, again, men are more eager to screw something random than women. Here's the aspect you're missing like most women do, to men, p*ssy is p*ssy. The average guy will sleep with a girl who isn't even hot for the sake of just getting some. Without regard of if there's chemistry, her personality, etc. Women aren't like this. Women need a guy that intrigues them, is chivalrous, etc. For guys, if you are decent-looking and are consenting, you don't have to do anything else. It doesn't matter if you're rude, if you'e unemployed, whatever it is that women look for in a man to sleep with them, as long as you're consenting and not hideous, you'll get a man willing to try.
So by swiping right on EVERYTHING what you're doing is finding who likes you back and THEN you decide one of 3 things "she's not hot, but I could still do it. She is hot, definitely I'll try my chances! She's not attractive at all, UNFRIEND!". I've been with friends where they swipe right on every girl and then after a few minutes they get a match and they'll ask "she's not cute but I'd at least try to get or*l from her"
Think of it this way. Imagine if I as an employer wanted to hire new recruits. An easier way to find good ones instead of waiting is for me to host a job fair and invite all random people willing to go, and then from THERE out of the whole group decide "good, no, bad, good, maybe, ehh, definitely". That is what swiping right on everything is.
God, men are so desperate. You get a glimpse into the male mind and it's straight up depressing.
I have matched with nearly a couple hundred men on Tinder. Only a few actually write. An even a smaller amount stay in any kind of regular communication, but then they fall off eventually without any attempts to try to meet.
As a female, I don't swipe right on many men, only on ones I would actually be interested in talking to for potential dating purposes. This would seem like sort of a Duh thing, because why else would one swipe right? But apparently, that's not the case for guys.
This past week, I matched with 8 guys. One I matched with the last time I was on a year ago (he never spoke to me then, and this time, he closed the match within a few hours without speaking as well). I do prefer that the man take the lead and message first, but after a day or so with no messages, I decided to go ahead and message 4 of the remaining 7. (I didn't message all of them because I anticipated actually talking to some of them, and I don't like talking to more than 2 at a time.) Two of them didn't reply at all, one replied once, then I replied back, and then he closed out the match. The last remaining guy and I sent a couple of messages back and forth about how we knew our one mutual friend, and then he dropped off of communication.
What exactly is the point of swiping right on someone if you don't actually intend on talking to someone? Is it just a numbers game to see how many girls think you're cute? Do you not really want to date, but are passing time in boredom? WHAT IS IT?!?
the answer to this isn't terribly complicated, you just have to learn to step back and look at it from a man's perspective.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
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You know in the spirit of this thread I went to my Tinder and swiped right on everyone and I actually got a legitimate match for the first time ever. Don't know if I'll actually message but swiping on just girls I liked wasn't cutting it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,748,461 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumblebee2
God, men are so desperate. You get a glimpse into the male mind and it's straight up depressing.
We are batting off a different side of the plate than women so we have to change our approach.
Do you have a man? Don't know why you would if you think men are so depressing.
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