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I don't think the majority of women are on Tinder for hookups. According to the guys here, they can't even get a match so I don't see why Tinder would be seen as an easy place to hookup with women. Although I'm not using Tinder currently, I liked it because I felt that I had more of a sense of privacy- only certain men could contact me and I didn't have a profile that men could just browse and return to whenever they felt like it. It was never about getting a hookup. I think you said you met your girlfriend on Hinge, and the last guy I met from Tinder was a guy who I also matched with on Hinge, so what's the difference? Many people use multiple sites/apps, so why should Tinder be only good for hookups if others aren't? I'm sure men are open to hookups regardless of where you meet them, so why would a woman need to go to Tinder for that?
Yes, I met my gf on Hinge almost a year ago. However, when I was on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble before that, I matched with women who were only looking for the strange, especially the one's who were in town for the weekend and wanted to "meet up". Then, after the weekend was over, they would unmatch me or delete their Tinder. If I exchanged social media contacts with them, I would understand why they deleted it, because I would see them post pics with their boyfriends when they got back home.
My guys friends would exchange Tinder stories, and they were never about dating or relationships. It was hang out, hook up and head out. There were times where multiple friends hooked up with the same girls.
Hinge was my favorite, because I didn't come across any women who I thought were only in it to hook up, from what I remember. But man, Tinder and Bumble were different stories. There are plenty of women on there who are looking for something with substance, but in my experience and the experience of my guy friends, it was a lot of hookups, too. In town for the weekend. Back home for the summer. In town for business. Just broke up with my boyfriend.
So, the "shotgun" approach for a lot of men makes sense. Just because women are usually more selective, doesn't mean they don't engage in the same tactic as men who use the shotgun approach, meaning, they may match with a guy, but then later decide, for whatever reason, they don't want to talk to him. This may be because they realize he isn't as attractive as they thought or they have better options.
tl;dr: There may be different approaches taken by men and women in the swiping process (men use shotgun, women are super picky), however the weeding out process is relatively the same after the match. Since the cards are usually in the woman's hands in terms of selectivity, guys play the numbers game.
I thought this article was interesting considering the subject. The study it's reporting found some interesting things. The first that stood out to me that when men message women first, more women respond. When women message men first, less men respond. They also found that men use Tinder for hookups much more than women do (not everyone uses it as a hookup site) and there are more men on Tinder than women (the ration is 2:1). The combination of the two, I think, might be the reason for the disconnect where men feel they need to swipe right for everyone just to find a match, any match and women feel like men just have no standards and are wasting people's time.
The study was like this: The researchers set up 14 fake Tinder profiles in London, half were female and half male.They automatically liked everyone within a 100 mile (160km) radius, and noted how many they matched with, and then how many sent messages.
Overall, the profiles received 8248 male matches and only 532 female matches.
86% of all the matches male profiles received came from other men. (My guess is that it's not homosexuals responding but that men really, really don't look at who they are matching with and literally do swipe right for everyone).
7 per cent of men and 21 per cent of women sent a message after matching with a profile.
Women took their time over writing a message. Almost two thirds of messages sent by men were sent within five minutes of the match taking place, while only 18 per cent of those sent by women were this fast. When they followed up with the people, it was found that women are more careful/selective with whom they like and therefore consider it more worthwhile to send a message.
About one third of men said they regularly 'casually like most profiles,' while no women said they do this.
93 per cent of women said that they only swiped right on profiles they were actually attracted to.
I still think Tinder sounds like a terrible way to meet someone with the male to female ratio creating overly aggressive men who may or may not really be interested in you. I had a hard enough time with men having a secret agenda looking for hookups with online dating and plain old regular dating. Tinder sounds like that, multiplied. I don't think, if I am ever single again, I will go anywhere near Tinder. It's not for me because I am not into hookups. There are so many other ways to meet people I would suggest anyone who is frustrated with it to just abandon it and try something else.
From what I gather it's just an add on to most people's social life's here and doesn't exactly have a great time invested in it. ( same with online dating in general..... )
For example...... A few of my mates will log on usually at the end of a night out and " see who else is at a loose end ".... It's very much a secondary way to meet people and not particularly taken seriously. ( both men and women ).
Which may explain why many men might just swipe right on the off chance
I don't think the majority of women are on Tinder for hookups. According to the guys here, they can't even get a match so I don't see why Tinder would be seen as an easy place to hookup with women. Although I'm not using Tinder currently, I liked it because I felt that I had more of a sense of privacy- only certain men could contact me and I didn't have a profile that men could just browse and return to whenever they felt like it. It was never about getting a hookup. I think you said you met your girlfriend on Hinge, and the last guy I met from Tinder was a guy who I also matched with on Hinge, so what's the difference? Many people use multiple sites/apps, so why should Tinder be only good for hookups if others aren't? I'm sure men are open to hookups regardless of where you meet them, so why would a woman need to go to Tinder for that?
Men who are using Tinder to meet women for sex want to dictate that women should only be there for sex as well. Tinder is not specifically a hook-up app, but many men view it as such when there are both women and men on there who are actually looking for relationships.
I matched with a man on Tinder who tried to deride women who are on there looking for relationships, claiming Tinder isn't for that. I told him it's not his place to dictate how or where people find love because he's the one looking for sex. It absolutely is for people looking to date and men who are looking for sex need to read women's profiles before assuming they are only looking for hook-ups as well.
One of my best guy friends met his fiance on Tinder and he proposed to her after only dating her for six months.
Last edited by Atlanta_BD; 09-13-2016 at 10:30 AM..
I've got two Tinder dates this week and one from okcupid. Of course these are all dates with women in their 30s who aren't looking for hookups. Maybe the younger folks are the ones looking for hookups. I don't know. Tinder seems pretty cool to me so far.
At this rate it sounds like you'll be going on about 150 dates this year. That's an impressive number. Are you really looking for someone compatible, that you're attracted to, or is there something else going on in your dating race? I can't imagine going on multiple dates every week with different people, it would really drain me after a short while, and I'd forget what I was even looking for.
Some nights I come home from work and need to recharge or veg out. Read a book, go for a walk, go shopping, have a conversation with a friend, paint, fix something....Why such intense focus on dating?
Just curious.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rocky_Raccoon
I've got two Tinder dates this week and one from okcupid. Of course these are all dates with women in their 30s who aren't looking for hookups. Maybe the younger folks are the ones looking for hookups. I don't know. Tinder seems pretty cool to me so far.
You don't know what they are looking for, and they may not themselves. What people are looking for often vary from the person they're connecting with.
Two of the people I ended up hooking up with on tinder were vehemently not looking for hookups and in their 40s. I wasn't looking for one either. But that's what happened when we just went with the flow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlanta_BD
Men who are using Tinder to meet women for sex want to dictate that women should only be there for sex as well. Tinder is not specifically a hook-up app, but many men view it as such when there are both women and men on there who are actually looking for relationships.
It is the straight version of Grindr, and was I believe created by the same people. Grindr is a hook up app.
Of course people can end up dating people from there, I have a few. But it is, what it is. That's fine, lots of relationships start with hookups.
Men who are using Tinder to meet women for sex want to dictate that women should only be there for sex as well. Tinder is not specifically a hook-up app, but many men view it as such when there are both women and men on there who are actually looking for relationships.
I matched with a man on Tinder who tried to deride women who are on there looking for relationships, claiming Tinder isn't for that. I told him it's not his places to dictate how or where people find love because he's the one looking for sex. It absolutely is for people looking to date and men who are looking for sex need to read women's profiles before assuming they are only looking for hook-ups as well.
One of my best guy friends met his fiance on Tinder and her proposed to her after only dating her for six months.
Yeah, for the all the hookup stuff that goes on there, three good friends, including my roommate and closing friend here where I live have met their S/O on Tinder, with one recently getting engaged.
This is my first week using Tinder and there's been a lot of activity. It's not like every week I have 3 dates with 3 different women. This is just a rare week. I like my down time too. My normal day is work, gym, home, repeat.
From what I gather it's just an add on to most people's social life's here and doesn't exactly have a great time invested in it. ( same with online dating in general..... )
For example...... A few of my mates will log on usually at the end of a night out and " see who else is at a loose end ".... It's very much a secondary way to meet people and not particularly taken seriously. ( both men and women ).
Which may explain why many men might just swipe right on the off chance
If it's just an add on, I suppose it's even more puzzling why people would use it if they don't like the results. Oh well, to each his own I suppose. I'm not even sure why I'm I this thread other than curiosity. I'm not looking and I hope the man in my life is with me for a very long time. I can't imagine loving or wanting to be with anyone else.
This is my first week using Tinder and there's been a lot of activity. It's not like every week I have 3 dates with 3 different women. This is just a rare week. I like my down time too. My normal day is work, gym, home, repeat.
It sounds like, look for date, communicate with potential date, look for new way to find dates, discuss dating, go on date, think about date...maybe this is all done during the work, gym, home part and just is all that is represented. I get the feeling you're obsessing about dates and dating though.
If it's just an add on, I suppose it's even more puzzling why people would use it if they don't like the results. Oh well, to each his own I suppose. I'm not even sure why I'm I this thread other than curiosity. I'm not looking and I hope the man in my life is with me for a very long time. I can't imagine loving or wanting to be with anyone else.
Because you like to read the point of view and experience of others, you're in a successful relationship and may have some tips. Romantic relationships are more interesting for some than say: Gardening, or Politics
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I'm not even sure why I'm I this thread other than curiosity. I'm not looking and I hope the man in my life is with me for a very long time. I can't imagine loving or wanting to be with anyone else.
