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You mention her weight several times and acknowledge lack of motivation to do something about it.
Yet you don't seem at all motivated to find out how you could better please her so these "sessions" wouldn't last so long and "bore" you. I haven't heard anything that suggests YOU are willing to work on your own shortcomings.
Well...to be fair, they've been together for 3 years, and he STILL hasn't managed to give her an orgasm yet. However, that hasn't stopped him from getting his release whenever they have sex. So...who's really boring who here?
Instead of complaining about his girl, I think the OP needs to accept some of the responsibility, as he obviously doesn't have mad skillz in the bedroom, or he would've been able to satisfy her as least once by now.
If it's his first relationship he's probably not any good himself true. But let's be honest, if you're not attracted to someone, it's extremely difficult to have hot, enthusiastic sex.
You mention her weight several times and acknowledge lack of motivation to do something about it.
Yet you don't seem at all motivated to find out how you could better please her so these "sessions" wouldn't last so long and "bore" you. I haven't heard anything that suggests YOU are willing to work on your own shortcomings.
Of course she was mad about the "sessions are too long" comment. Basically you are saying you'd rather be doing something else than connecting with her. Do you realize how hard many guys have to work just to get a woman into bed?
I think you need to own up to the fact that this is all about her weight gain. You have mentioned it several times and my impression is you're trying not to be "that guy" but you really are. Yes I know physical attraction is important but apparently after 3 years this relationship hasn't progressed to a level of depth beyond just appearance.
Better please her in already boring sessions? What about her finding ways to not be boring.
And let's be honest, major weight gain is in and of itself a huge problem in a sexual relationship. Pun intended. Sex is as visual and physical, if not more so, as emotional. Many men just are not turned on by obesity and would find it difficult to muster the desire to have sex with a obese person and then enjoy it.
And it's not just the physical now is it? For someone to become obese it speaks to a number of very unattractive qualities that have manifested. Lack of self control and compulsion, lethargy and laziness, lack of motivation to lead a healthy life, indifference to the dangers of it. These are not simply superficial ideals. These are the underlying issues that make someone not just physically unattractive, but as a person as well.
Better please her in already boring sessions? What about her finding ways to not be boring.
And let's be honest, major weight gain is in and of itself a huge problem in a sexual relationship. Pun intended. Sex is as visual and physical, if not more so, as emotional. Many men just are not turned on by obesity and would find it difficult to muster the desire to have sex with a obese person and then enjoy it.
And it's not just the physical now is it? For someone to become obese it speaks to a number of very unattractive qualities that have manifested. Lack of self control and compulsion, lethargy and laziness, lack of motivation to lead a healthy life, indifference to the dangers of it. These are not simply superficial ideals. These are the underlying issues that make someone not just physically unattractive, but as a person as well.
I don't recall OP saying anything about her being obese.
If he feels disgusted by her he needs to own up to it to HER and let her move onto someone else. Instead he's trying to act like that's not the issue. Instead it's a pathetic weasly "our sessions take too long and bore me!"
Also, I agree with the poster who said that the OP's general stress/unhappiness in his life may be coloring his view of his GF and the relationship.
Heck, I went through that with an old BF years ago. He had a lot of bad things happening to him in life at the time, and he became distant from me and I broke it off. A few months later, things were better in his life and he contacted me and we went for lunch.
Now, the funny thing was that I had gained about 7 pounds in the time since I had last seen him -- but he actually thought I had LOST weight when he saw me. He kept going on and on about how great I looked ("Wow, you've been working out!" -- I hadn't) and for a while after that he sort of pestered me to get back together but I had moved on by then. I was pretty much the same person only a tad heavier yet he was looking at me in a totally different light.
She's always been a little overweight, and I've been fine with that. It's just that in the past year or so she's gained a fairly large amount of extra weight. She's even mentioned it herself. I think I posted in the original post that I've tried to get her to join the gym when I go a couple times a week, but she never wants to. And I try to make healthier meals for myself, and cut out things like sugar, but she doesn't really care about eating healthy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel
I don't recall OP saying anything about her being obese.
I think my assumption of obesity is fair based on this OP comment.
Quote:
Originally Posted by wasel
If he feels disgusted by her he needs to own up to it to HER and let her move onto someone else. Instead he's trying to act like that's not the issue. Instead it's a pathetic weasly "our sessions take too long and bore me!"
Except that he's trying to be a caring partner and is trying to get her to eat healthy and work out in a fair manner. You can't see past the fact that he's human and is losing attraction to a person who has become unattractive. He's purposely side stepping the issue because if he doesn't, all the women of the internet come down on him for being human.
I think my assumption of obesity is fair based on this OP comment.
Except that he's trying to be a caring partner and is trying to get her to eat healthy and work out in a fair manner. You can't see past the fact that he's human and is losing attraction to a person who has become unattractive. He's purposely side stepping the issue because if he doesn't, all the women of the internet come down on him for being human.
I get that he's human. I'm coming down on him as it is -- for not owning this problem. I would not come come down on him if he were honest. And who the hell cares anyway if people "come down on him" on the internet? It may even be a fake post for all we know.
And let's be honest. Him trying to get her to be healthy is not about being a "caring partner" in regards to her health. Is he worried about how much alcohol she drinks? Is he monitoring her cholesterol levels? Her stress? Nope. If she were svelte the thought of "health" wouldn't enter his mind.
This is about his own desires to have a thin GF. He just needs to own it and move on.
I get that he's human. I'm coming down on him as it is -- for not owning this problem. I would not come come down on him if he were honest. And who the hell cares anyway if people "come down on him" on the internet? It may even be a fake post for all we know.
And let's be honest. Him trying to get her to be healthy is not about being a "caring partner" in regards to her health. Is he worried about how much alcohol she drinks? Is he monitoring her cholesterol levels? Her stress? Nope. If she were svelte the thought of "health" wouldn't enter his mind.
This is about his own desires to have a thin GF. He just needs to own it and move on.
Like I said, being thin is a byproduct of living a healthy, attractive lifestyle. In my opinion, being fat is not just physically unattractive but personally as well.
Like I said, being thin is a byproduct of living a healthy, attractive lifestyle. In my opinion, being fat is not just physically unattractive but personally as well.
OK. Thin people can be unhealthy too. I'm just saying let's stop with the "he cares about her health" crap and admit this is a purely visual thing. If he wants to fire his fat girlfriend, he should just admit it.
Yes I know physical attraction is important but apparently after 3 years this relationship hasn't progressed to a level of depth beyond just appearance.
Wise words.
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