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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TKO
My take is that he wants to remain friends so he's putting some distance back into the relationship. Having sex and getting together again a day or two later, I'm going to be wanting/thinking about sex again even if I know it's not good for the friendship. Let a couple weeks go by and it's easier to be around the person without thinking about that, too much at least.
I absolutely believe friends can remain friends post-sex but it does change things.
I tend to agree with timber and TKO about remaining friends
Yes it's does change things more often than not and It's happened before with me a few times and after realising that it wasn't really there romantically we agreed it was a mistake or whatever and carried on as platonic friends.
The only time I can see people NOT remaining friends afterwards is when one wants to carry on romantically and the other doesn't and it makes things awkward, which is why I think the bloke here has done a bunk and left because he thinks she's after something more than friendship perhaps.
( Although it's just as possible he is JUST trying to distance himself in order to keep it just a friendship as tim and TKO have said )
I think in my younger years sex messed things up with my male friends, for sure.
I'm surprised and disappointed. I'm having major surgery soon, which he has been supportive about, so to think he is just gone is sad for me .
And I like to think I did wear him out . I told him to load up on the protein LOL.
So perhaps he will come back. I'm focused on other things and mostly miss our silly chats on our downtime.
I hate to say I have trust issues but this crap is mostly why. If he said "Hey, the sex was weird and I don't like you anymore" I think I'd get over it. It's the "it was great! I'm gone with no explanation!" I'm having trouble with.
Funny, the only guy I'm involved with I don't trust actually contacts me all the time funny enough LOL.
He's feeling awkward. Give him space. You'll reconnect. No biggie. Some times people get weirded out by casual sex (esp the first time with someone), just give them space and don't push, people that are really friends reconnect in time.
I agree. I'd wager a guess that he's more weirded out by the fact that it was with a long-time friend (the OP), rather than by it being casual in and of itself. It was a sudden, dramatic change in roles for the poor guy: from platonic friends who don't do more than hug, to full-on no-clothes intimacy. Not many men are weirded out by casual encounters in general.
I tend to agree with timber and TKO about remaining friends
Yes it's does change things more often than not and It's happened before with me a few times and after realising that it wasn't really there romantically we agreed it was a mistake or whatever and carried on as platonic friends.
The only time I can see people NOT remaining friends afterwards is when one wants to carry on romantically and the other doesn't and it makes things awkward, which is why I think the bloke here has done a bunk and left because he thinks she's after something more than friendship perhaps.
( Although it's just as possible he is JUST trying to distance himself in order to keep it just a friendship as tim and TKO have said )
I have to ask, mate? How many of your 'close friends' that youve sleep with remained close till this day? When I mean close friends: I mean, hanging out and chatting on a regular basis (go movies, have drinks, lunch, etc). I don't mean calling/texting and exchanging a quick "how are doing" every two to eight months, or liking her Facebook posts, Lol- because I don't consider that a "close friend" but more of an acquaintance that you had sex with .
oh good I like what Timber said and Millennial's agreement
Since we talked about it beforehand and it was so comfortable I (plus I'm not weirded out) I figured he was in the same camp. You guyz were useful, thank youze :0
YOUR STORY IS ALMOST LIKE MINE. ALITTLE DIFFERENT BUT THE SAME CONCEPT.LOL. Im a straight female that a male has been seeking me out for the past year and I had no Idea, but we finally met by a mutual frind that had no idea this person was always seeing me at a store etc, and finally we meet and I fall for him. two dates later I sleep with him, well its only been 18 hours since I last talked to him but I think he's done...
Im a mature adult and needed it bad it was 2 years for me so if he does not ever call me again Ill be like what the ????? But you know what Tabularasa do not sweat it cause he pursued you, and just be like whatever!!!
YOUR STORY IS ALMOST LIKE MINE. ALITTLE DIFFERENT BUT THE SAME CONCEPT.LOL. Im a straight female that a male has been seeking me out for the past year and I had no Idea, but we finally met by a mutual frind that had no idea this person was always seeing me at a store etc, and finally we meet and I fall for him. two dates later I sleep with him, well its only been 18 hours since I last talked to him but I think he's done...
Im a mature adult and needed it bad it was 2 years for me so if he does not ever call me again Ill be like what the ????? But you know what Tabularasa do not sweat it cause he pursued you, and just be like whatever!!!
Same but different?
You slept with a guy after two dates. The OP had a friend who she'd known for three years.
He probably feels awkward now about crossing the friendship line . Give him a few weeks. If he doesn't come around then I would text him asking what his problem was. It was only sex, we aren't getting married !
I have to ask, mate? How many of your 'close friends' that youve sleep with remained close till this day? When I mean close friends: I mean, hanging out and chatting on a regular basis (go movies, have drinks, lunch, etc). I don't mean calling/texting and exchanging a quick "how are doing" every two to eight months, or liking her Facebook posts, Lol- because I don't consider that a "close friend" but more of an acquaintance that you had sex with .
Yeah I know what you're getting at brah! ( Thank F you don't want acquaintances, casual or ones you bump into once every so often as Xmas is coming soon )
No seriously actual close friends that I'm still in regular contact with I'd say 3 BUT the main reason why there are only 3 is because many that I was close with have got married/involved and moved out of the area either out of London or even abroad so it had nothing to do with us and I'd still be in regular contact with them now
To give you an example of why they were platonic friends was say we grew up together at school, as I got older in the pubs and clubs they were friends of friends that was involved so I couldn't do anything or I was involved with someone and again we couldn't do anything etc. So we would spend a lot of time together as a group or individually and as platonic friends just socialising.
But when the opportunity presented itself because we were curious if there was more or " it just happened " we more often than not could agree it was a mistake or it wasn't there so thankfully it wasn't awkward so carried on being platonic
I've had other times when we couldn't be just friends for a few reasons after the deed but again more often than not we could
( Sorry for the long post brah but I'd rather give you a better understanding of what occured, hope that helps )
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. I told him to load up on the protein LOL.
) 
