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Old 05-27-2017, 07:13 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn
1,510 posts, read 1,007,010 times
Reputation: 1468

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Sure, I get it. I just figure we all know that's a possibility but no one really wants to say it out loud to the OP.

The way she described the experience, though, he was pretty into it.
Guys fake it too.
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:31 PM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,867,792 times
Reputation: 17886
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Sure, I get it. I just figure we all know that's a possibility but no one really wants to say it out loud to the OP.

The way she described the experience, though, he was pretty into it.
weeeeellllll....actually a couple of us did say it may be that the guy felt weird or things changed for him, in a less "in your face" way.

I was really trying to understand why 80% wanted to tell her that he must be scared of his strong feelings for her and now needs to re-group because he wasn't ready for love.

What kind of response would I get if I posted that yeah, I'm single too, it's because every time I'm with a guy we have sex and his new found love for me grows so intense, he can no longer speak and goes away to keep from declaring this...

I think the OP is realistic and intelligent enough to consider it's just one of those sukky things that happens, and they might have been better off settling for friendship.

Just as realistic a possibility, IMO.
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:36 PM
 
5,460 posts, read 7,762,387 times
Reputation: 4631
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Never, ever underestimate what lengths a man will go to in order to get a little tail.
Not necessarily always true -- there are the Tim Tebows of the world and such. In the case of Tim Tebow himself, apparently he was recently dumped by none other than Miss Universe because he wouldn't sleep with her unless they were already married first. I can relate to that in a certain sense, if only because I have similar beliefs.
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:43 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,955,675 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by RbccL View Post
weeeeellllll....actually a couple of us did say it may be that the guy felt weird or things changed for him, in a less "in your face" way.

I was really trying to understand why 80% wanted to tell her that he must be scared of his strong feelings for her and now needs to re-group because he wasn't ready for love.

What kind of response would I get if I posted that yeah, I'm single too, it's because every time I'm with a guy we have sex and his new found love for me grows so intense, he can no longer speak and goes away to keep from declaring this...
No, you're absolutely right.

"He was SO overcome by how good it was that he is making himself stay away ..." is a comment straight out of "He's Just Not That Into You."

Because it makes no sense.

I just really, really despise ghosting of any kind, and I don't understand it at all. Maybe because I OVERshare my feelings sometimes. But to be a friend for 3 years and then just disappear ...
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Old 05-27-2017, 07:52 PM
 
18,104 posts, read 15,683,109 times
Reputation: 26807
I agree. It's not like she attacked him, accused him of being a terrible friend or did something to ensure he would be crazy to want to continue a friendship with her.

And, he's not a child or someone she took advantage of. His behavior, IMO, is abhorrent and rude and so unnecessary. He's the one who threw out signals of being interested in something beyond friendship, no one forced him to have sex. Excuses for his bad behavior are just that -- excuses.

I would never think it's okay for a guy I thought of as a good friend, a reliable friend, to act like this. He'd be dead to me.
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Old 05-28-2017, 10:56 PM
 
Location: USA
1,543 posts, read 2,958,802 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut View Post
Never, ever underestimate what lengths a man will go to in order to get a little tail.
Sure, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free (once every 3 years)?

Last edited by xeric; 05-28-2017 at 11:06 PM..
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Old 05-28-2017, 11:09 PM
 
Location: Middle America
37,409 posts, read 53,593,150 times
Reputation: 53073
Quote:
Originally Posted by rego00123 View Post
It's not much work if the other person keeps coming to you.
You never have to do anything but sit back and reap the rewards
Except that's not what happened.
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Old 05-29-2017, 12:36 AM
 
10,341 posts, read 5,867,792 times
Reputation: 17886
Quote:
Originally Posted by xeric View Post
Sure, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free (once every 3 years)?
Also: Why buy the whole pig for one little sausage.
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Old 05-29-2017, 12:41 AM
 
4,432 posts, read 6,985,065 times
Reputation: 2261
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
Not true at all. If they're really friends, they will remain friends, and it most certainly is not true that one person always develops feelings. The relationship isn't the same, exactly, but it doesn't mean it is worse, and often there is a greater connection and closer friendship.
Hate to say it but from my experience, an encounter like that one, there is no greater connection and the friendship seemed more distant since then.
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Old 05-29-2017, 08:54 AM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,923 posts, read 7,723,158 times
Reputation: 16662
Could be numerous reasons:

He could feel awkward.
Suddenly decided that's all he wanted.
He's confused.
He may like you and may not know how to deal with it.

It could be anything. As much as people don't want to admit it, sex can and does change things for people. Personally, I wouldn't have sex with someone I consider a friend. It just doesn't compute. I've talked to people who are really casual about who they sleep with, and some say they can maintain friendships afterwards. To them it's just sex and nothing else. While I respect their views, I simply do not understand how they do it.

*shrugs*
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