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Sure, I get it. I just figure we all know that's a possibility but no one really wants to say it out loud to the OP.
The way she described the experience, though, he was pretty into it.
weeeeellllll....actually a couple of us did say it may be that the guy felt weird or things changed for him, in a less "in your face" way.
I was really trying to understand why 80% wanted to tell her that he must be scared of his strong feelings for her and now needs to re-group because he wasn't ready for love.
What kind of response would I get if I posted that yeah, I'm single too, it's because every time I'm with a guy we have sex and his new found love for me grows so intense, he can no longer speak and goes away to keep from declaring this...
I think the OP is realistic and intelligent enough to consider it's just one of those sukky things that happens, and they might have been better off settling for friendship.
Never, ever underestimate what lengths a man will go to in order to get a little tail.
Not necessarily always true -- there are the Tim Tebows of the world and such. In the case of Tim Tebow himself, apparently he was recently dumped by none other than Miss Universe because he wouldn't sleep with her unless they were already married first. I can relate to that in a certain sense, if only because I have similar beliefs.
weeeeellllll....actually a couple of us did say it may be that the guy felt weird or things changed for him, in a less "in your face" way.
I was really trying to understand why 80% wanted to tell her that he must be scared of his strong feelings for her and now needs to re-group because he wasn't ready for love.
What kind of response would I get if I posted that yeah, I'm single too, it's because every time I'm with a guy we have sex and his new found love for me grows so intense, he can no longer speak and goes away to keep from declaring this...
No, you're absolutely right.
"He was SO overcome by how good it was that he is making himself stay away ..." is a comment straight out of "He's Just Not That Into You."
Because it makes no sense.
I just really, really despise ghosting of any kind, and I don't understand it at all. Maybe because I OVERshare my feelings sometimes. But to be a friend for 3 years and then just disappear ...
I agree. It's not like she attacked him, accused him of being a terrible friend or did something to ensure he would be crazy to want to continue a friendship with her.
And, he's not a child or someone she took advantage of. His behavior, IMO, is abhorrent and rude and so unnecessary. He's the one who threw out signals of being interested in something beyond friendship, no one forced him to have sex. Excuses for his bad behavior are just that -- excuses.
I would never think it's okay for a guy I thought of as a good friend, a reliable friend, to act like this. He'd be dead to me.
Not true at all. If they're really friends, they will remain friends, and it most certainly is not true that one person always develops feelings. The relationship isn't the same, exactly, but it doesn't mean it is worse, and often there is a greater connection and closer friendship.
Hate to say it but from my experience, an encounter like that one, there is no greater connection and the friendship seemed more distant since then.
He could feel awkward.
Suddenly decided that's all he wanted.
He's confused.
He may like you and may not know how to deal with it.
It could be anything. As much as people don't want to admit it, sex can and does change things for people. Personally, I wouldn't have sex with someone I consider a friend. It just doesn't compute. I've talked to people who are really casual about who they sleep with, and some say they can maintain friendships afterwards. To them it's just sex and nothing else. While I respect their views, I simply do not understand how they do it.
*shrugs*
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