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I had taken a friend on a double date and she took it up herself to order the most expensive seafood dish and drinks, without even asking. I was trying to help her meet someone nice but she ruined it by being trashy. Common courtesy would be to see what your date orders and do not order something more expensive than theirs unless you plan to pay your own way.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
When you say help yourself, you as a person who is offering a gift think that the gifted would show some social grace and not order the most expensive on your dime. Just because one hosts is not a license for a hostee to take advantage because they don’t have to suffer the consequences of that choice.
What makes you think it was the most expensive option?
This reminds me of a roommate in college. She was a terrible person, but before I knew that, I got screwed. We went out to a diner once for dinner....nothing fancy, she said she had no cash and I didn't feel like sitting around the apartment so I told her I would buy (we were both women, she was my friend at that point). She ordered an appetizer, soup, steak/fish...a 3 or 4 course meal...something you just don't do at a Greek diner. I was floored.
Then I remember I said I was going on a date with a guy who wasn't from our area and he was letting me pick the restaurant. She told me to pick the most expensive restaurant in the area and order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Not long after that, I found out she was lying to me about some stuff and was stabbing me in the back. So that should tell you something.
What makes you think it was the most expensive option?
Lots of assumptions thrown around here.
I'm also wondering why people are assuming this girl would "never" order lobster for herself. I really am not sure where that came from. Maybe she would. Why assume that?
This reminds me of a roommate in college. She was a terrible person, but before I knew that, I got screwed. We went out to a diner once for dinner....nothing fancy, she said she had no cash and I didn't feel like sitting around the apartment so I told her I would buy (we were both women, she was my friend at that point). She ordered an appetizer, soup, steak/fish...a 3 or 4 course meal...something you just don't do at a Greek diner. I was floored.
Then I remember I said I was going on a date with a guy who wasn't from our area and he was letting me pick the restaurant. She told me to pick the most expensive restaurant in the area and order the most expensive thing on the menu.
Not long after that, I found out she was lying to me about some stuff and was stabbing me in the back. So that should tell you something.
It does. It tells us that she's pretty unusual and an extreme. I'm sorry this happened to you.
In the OP's case, the woman ordered just one dish, as far as we can tell. It wasn't cheap like the halibut but I don't see a mention of anything else, not even dessert. Not a drink. Just the dish.
We can't really know for sure, though, since the OP hasn't posted again, though I'm sure he must be reading.
Steak and lobster does not come with a one pound lobster and a 12 ounce steak. For $50 (which is not all that expensive for steak and lobster ), it is very likely that it came with a 4 ounce mini lobster tail and a petite sirloin steak with maybe some potato straws and a sprig of parsley. 4 ounce lobster tail is shell for half of its weight, so it is 3 bites of shellfish with a quarter pounder steak.
Maybe in Oregon. In coastal New England, "lobster" is a whole lobster. I'd expect a lobster surf & turf to be a steamed/boiled chicken lobster and a 6 oz filet mignon. A chicken lobster doesn't have a heck of a lot of meat in it. Maybe 4 oz.
Personally, I don't order boiled/steamed lobster in restaurants. That's what I do on my back deck with house guests. In a restaurant, it's tough to eat a steamed/boiled lobster without making a huge mess. Baked-stuffed? Sure.
I'm from the People's Republic school of dating. Money depends on what I think the finances of the other person look like.
I go out for dinner with my friend Patty occasionally. Not really a date but we're friends who go back many decades. Her dot.com startup made her $25 million and I'm sure she's piled on to that number in the last 18 years. I wouldn't hesitate to order a $50 entree if she's buying.
I'm normally high income but I've been unemployed a few times. I wouldn't flinch at my date ordering a $50 entree if I'm working. If they know I'm unemployed but still buying dinner, that would be our last date.
With that point of view, I have no sense for what level of prosperity the OP is projecting. If he's driving a European luxury sedan, wearing expensive clothes, and talking about his fast track high end job, order what you want. That's 1% of the dating pool. For anybody else, you ask what they're planning to order and stick generally to that price point.
Next time, be yourself and don't take someone to a "nicer restaurant" if you're on a Red Robin budget. If you two have a connection, you'll have fun no matter where you go.
This. Go to restaurants within one's own budget. If some of the entrée prices are beyond what one can afford, then don't choose that restaurant.
I don't think it's rude to order an expensive entrée.
This was right after I had ordered an $18 Halibut..So yeah. I didn't say anything to her as I wanted to be polite, but ouch that's a punch to my wallet.
Tonight was our first dinner together and she didn't offer to help pay the bill either. To be fair she did offer me a piece, and also it is Valentines and I am the one who asked her out. She was excited about going out too..
I'm torn on why the sticker shock is bugging me, I keep thinking about it. I feel like the date was fun and she is incredible in a lot of ways and I find her attractive.. but I'm kinda feeling put off a bit too about it...
I paid for the bill. My concern isn't that I paid. I'm glad to do something nice for her.
My concern is I feel she wasn't considerate at all, and it is weighing on my mind. I'm sorting out my feelings right now. I find her attractive in many ways, but that was a big turn off :/
Reminds me of the time I met a fellow on-line. He met me at a local seafood restaurant, my suggestion. I ordered a salad and iced tea as I am not a big eater. He ordered wine, appetizer, entree ($) and dessert. When the bill came it was obvious I was expected to pay. I did.
When I was dating I would always ask what my date was going to get, and go for something in the same price range or less. I just think it is polite. If I absolutely wanted something that was at the upper limited of the menu I would offer to pay. It just seems polite.
But like Geoff said, you kinda go based upon the situation. DH always ordered drinks that cost around $60 (scotch) so it was a given that when he went out he expected to enjoy the food and drink, and cost didn't really matter to him.
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I'm sure this has already been said but if you don't want her to order a $50 entree then don't take her to a place that has $50 entrees on the menu.
Besides, did you really think a Valentine's Day meal would be cheap?
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on your dime. 
Just because one hosts is not a license for a hostee to take advantage because they don’t have to suffer the consequences of that choice.
