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I need some advice regarding a guy that I just recently started dating that I met at Whole foods. He is 47yo, and I am 35yo. I've been single for awhile (6 months) before meeting, and I decided to accept an invitation from him to meet up for coffee. He approached me while I was shopping. He is quite handsome, tall, and in nice shape. On our first date at a coffee shop, I felt very comfortable with him, and we had really nice chemistry. He seems very charming and a good conversationist. On our second date, I was surprised to find out that he still lives home with his mom, and doesnt even have a car. He says he works from home on his laptop doing IT consulting work part-time. I found this to be a bit strange living at home at this age. He invited me to his home this past weekend to watch a movie, and have dinner. He had his mom cook dinner for us. She seems like a sweet lady, but I just felt really akward being there with her around. He even mentioned that his mom does his laundry, and I was shocked, and a bit annoyed at this. At this point I'm not sure if I want to continue on with this or jump ship. He doesnt seem to be a guy who seem to have his life together, nor has the motivation to better himself. He even mentioned that he plays a lot of video games in his free time, at 47!! . I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this. Any advice from the ladies out there on whether I am overreacting here, or would these raise a lot of red flags? To be honest if he wasnt so handsome, and charming, I'd probably wouldnt have hung out with him past the second date.
I need some advice regarding a guy that I just recently started dating that I met at Whole foods. He is 47yo, and I am 35yo. I've been single for awhile (6 months) before meeting, and I decided to accept an invitation from him to meet up for coffee. He approached me while I was shopping. He is quite handsome, tall, and in nice shape. On our first date at a coffee shop, I felt very comfortable with him, and we had really nice chemistry. He seems very charming and a good conversationist. On our second date, I was surprised to find out that he still lives home with his mom, and doesnt even have a car. He says he works from home on his laptop doing IT consulting work part-time. I found this to be a bit strange living at home at this age. He invited me to his home this past weekend to watch a movie, and have dinner. He had his mom cook dinner for us. She seems like a sweet lady, but I just felt really akward being there with her around. He even mentioned that his mom does his laundry, and I was shocked, and a bit annoyed at this. At this point I'm not sure if I want to continue on with this or jump ship. He doesnt seem to be a guy who seem to have his life together, nor has the motivation to better himself. He even mentioned that he plays a lot of video games in his free time, at 47!! . I don't know maybe I'm overthinking this. Any advice from the ladies out there on whether I am overreacting here, or would these raise a lot of red flags? To be honest if he wasnt so handsome, and charming, I'd probably wouldnt have hung out with him past the second date.
Thanks,
Vanessa
Does he live with his mom in her home, or does she live with him in his home? There is a difference.
He can't have been doing "IT consulting" his whole life. What was his job before that? Or is he just unemployed and sitting on his laptop all day, living off Mom's Social Security?
It sounds like your gut is telling you something. You should always heed that kind of warning.
Does he live with his mom in her home, or does she live with him in his home? There is a difference.
He can't have been doing "IT consulting" his whole life. What was his job before that? Or is he just unemployed and sitting on his laptop all day, living off Mom's Social Security?
It sounds like your gut is telling you something. You should always heed that kind of warning.
He told me he grew up in the home since the age of 4yo. His sister moved out when she got married. He did say he lived in California for a year before returning back home.
He said prior to IT consulting (I believe he does programming work), he said he worked at Best Buy.
It may be that he can't afford to have his own place or car, and he's also there for his mom (shes 80yo) to help her out, although from what I see she is helping him out more than he is helping her our.
He told me he grew up in the home since the age of 4yo. His sister moved out when she got married. He did say he lived in California for a year before returning back home.
He said prior to IT consulting (I believe he does programming work), he said he worked at Best Buy.
It may be that he can't afford to have his own place or car, and he's also there for his mom (shes 80yo) to help her out, although from what I see she is helping him out more than he is helping her our.
Yes this just doesn't seem right to me.
I would not be comfortable with this. And i bet he is unemployed.
He told me he grew up in the home since the age of 4yo. His sister moved out when she got married. He did say he lived in California for a year before returning back home.
He said prior to IT consulting (I believe he does programming work), he said he worked at Best Buy.
It may be that he can't afford to have his own place or car, and he's also there for his mom (shes 80yo) to help her out, although from what I see she is helping him out more than he is helping her our.
Yes this just doesn't seem right to me.
Believe it or not, there are some cultures that believe that you live with your parents, until you got married.
I would not be comfortable with this. And i bet he is unemployed.
He asked if he can cook me dinner at my place this weekend, and stay overnight. Up until this point we haven't had sex. Just some fooling around. As much as I am attracted to him and enjoy his company, and I am also not comfortable with this.
This is my take: He's 47 years old with no car. He invites you to mommy's house for a date, where he lives with mommy. Mommy cooks dinner for you two. Mommy also does his laundry. He does not have any motivation to change his current living situation or lifestyle and, apparently, thinks a woman may accept or find attractive the above.
He's looking for a new and younger mommy to facilitate all of the above, plus the added benefit of sex.
I would not have gotten past the "I live with mommy" part.
My advice. You appear to want different and more mature qualities and a place in life than the man you post about. I would not continue seeing him. I think he's an immature user.
Believe it or not, there are some cultures that believe that you live with your parents, until you got married.
Yes, I know. Thats another thing that I would say is a red flag. 47yo and never married.
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