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Old 07-09-2019, 07:15 AM
 
163 posts, read 233,500 times
Reputation: 101

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I have a trip coming up this September and a friend (8 years) is coming with me. we will be sharing the room,2 beds, 6 nights. she is divorced, I am a widower. Here's the concern, We have never been close. We have had dinner twice, nothing intimate, no holding hands,hugs,etc.we talk and enjoy the time. I speak with her several times a week always. she seems to like me , she is always smiling and just happy when we are together.

Now I am thinking wth! I going on a weeks vacation with someone I've never spent more than 2-3 hours with at a time, sharing a room and driving 5 hours both ways. I was married for 38 years,I got married very young, really never dated and I am getting somewhat nervous about this. she is looking forward to this, as she did invite herself and that kinda through me off. I do like her and assume she's like me. Is this common with dating/ friends these days? I have no intentions of backing out, it could be quite the adventure. thoughts?
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Old 07-09-2019, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,258 posts, read 41,844,197 times
Reputation: 83098
Quote:
Originally Posted by tricky1 View Post
I have a trip coming up this September and a friend (8 years) is coming with me. we will be sharing the room,2 beds, 6 nights. she is divorced, I am a widower. Here's the concern, We have never been close. We have had dinner twice, nothing intimate, no holding hands,hugs,etc.we talk and enjoy the time. I speak with her several times a week always. she seems to like me , she is always smiling and just happy when we are together.

Now I am thinking wth! I going on a weeks vacation with someone I've never spent more than 2-3 hours with at a time, sharing a room and driving 5 hours both ways. I was married for 38 years,I got married very young, really never dated and I am getting somewhat nervous about this. she is looking forward to this, as she did invite herself and that kinda through me off. I do like her and assume she's like me. Is this common with dating/ friends these days? I have no intentions of backing out, it could be quite the adventure. thoughts?
Oh it could be quite the adventure, all right, with your apparent new girlfriend!

Congratulations!
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Old 07-09-2019, 11:31 AM
 
163 posts, read 233,500 times
Reputation: 101
Ha ha, I guess so, maybe. I feel awkward when I think about holding her hand or giving her a hug. Oh well,Time will tell, thanks Birdie Belle for your response
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Old 07-09-2019, 12:41 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,258 posts, read 41,844,197 times
Reputation: 83098
I am floored that you two are sharing a room. How did that even come up?

Do you feel at all interested in her? Would you want something to develop?

I have seen this happen before with widowers. Those women can be very aggressive, and before you know it she will be assuming all kinds of things about the two of you if you don't make your feelings clear and known.

Please do keep us posted!
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Old 07-09-2019, 02:39 PM
 
12,338 posts, read 13,576,420 times
Reputation: 14337
Time to change the reservation to a king and see how it goes.
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Old 07-09-2019, 03:24 PM
 
2,105 posts, read 1,689,369 times
Reputation: 2537
Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
Time to change the reservation to a king and see how it goes.
Or a single twin.
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Old 07-09-2019, 03:29 PM
 
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
7,414 posts, read 12,947,561 times
Reputation: 30970
Could be a way that she's telling you she trusts you enough to not try anything that she's willing to share a room. But she could also be hoping something does! Wouldn't hurt to have a talk with her about it.
I remember my first date after 20 years of marriage. She got mad at me because I didn't try anything!
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Old 07-09-2019, 04:10 PM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
14,757 posts, read 12,243,214 times
Reputation: 26178
Everyone knows the extra bed is just to put your luggage’s on.

I’d be surprised if nothing intimate happens.
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Old 07-09-2019, 04:42 PM
 
Location: New England
673 posts, read 856,586 times
Reputation: 1202
Um. I think there should have been a conversation that went beyond "she did invite herself". Wasn't there any suggestion that she might get her own room? Well, you can still talk, if you want to. Frankly, if it was me I'd be nervous every night if there hadn't been any agreement. What does she intend to do? What does she expect me to do? It could be a bad situation, if you're far from home with someone that you've had a fundamental disagreement with! It would make me more comfortable to be able to say "We'll start and end this trip as friends" and stick with that plan.

But then, you might consider a new relationship with this woman. Especially if you enjoy a vacation together, and you somehow avoid hurting each other's feelings. But it might be wiser to come home and think about what happens next.
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Old 07-09-2019, 05:21 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
9,877 posts, read 20,163,126 times
Reputation: 12414
If you feel weird about, tell her. It’s hard enough for two female friends to share a room, much less a platonic couple with no clear agenda.
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