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Old Yesterday, 11:29 PM
 
1,372 posts, read 1,753,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawk J View Post
Have you ever met this Latino man in person, or have you only conversed online/talked on telephone/Skype?
Yes, I've long ago. I used to live in FL for 16 years (ages 4-20) to be exact. Therefore, I know the culture and how the system works.
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Old Yesterday, 11:37 PM
 
Location: The point of no return, er, NorCal
7,252 posts, read 4,696,214 times
Reputation: 9340
Iíve never experienced any form of abuse in my marriages and relationships.
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Old Yesterday, 11:40 PM
 
1,372 posts, read 1,753,007 times
Reputation: 1027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
I think it is risky to go and marry and have kids with someone in an overseas country, because presumably you haven't spent enough time with them to know if they're abusive or not.

Also you are going to be vulnerable as a new immigrant - you won't know how things work; where to get support if something goes wrong & you won't have your own support network etc.
I knew him in person long ago. I've lived there before. That's the only reason I can speak English fluently. I learned it there long ago in 1st grade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Carly1983 View Post
This is an abuser's ideal scenario.

As someone who has been in abusive relationships I have been concerned about this, too. I decided that having my own savings (also called a 'f**k off fund') and income and never becoming financially vulnerable is important because without it you are dependent. Also having a solid circle of friends (aka support network.) Know the signs of abuse - read about it (I like Lundy Bancroft's book Why Does He Do That' & I also did the Freedom Programme.) And get therapy. Take your time to get to know someone.

PS. I have a friend in a good marriage with a Peruvian man. They can't all be abusers.
I agree with that approach and there is nothing wrong with being a hardworking, independent woman. I have my BA degree in tourism and hotel management. In the future, I might pursue my Master's but at this point have to continue having money.
Glad to hear your friend met a nice Peruvian man. Perhaps I'm being harsh in generalizing them but can't you blame me after the poor examples I've seen during my lifetime and the constant news on TV about another woman getting assaulted or killed by her jealous Peruvian man?

For the women that never experienced abuse and men that never hit their wives, congrats.
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Old Today, 03:31 AM
 
169 posts, read 92,481 times
Reputation: 531
What??!! I've been married for 37 years and NEVER once did my husband raise his hand against me! We've had plenty of arguments though but I could never imagine him threatening me with violence!

The same with my daughter & her boyfriend as well as relatives & friends. Of course I don't know exactly what goes on in others' homes but none seem to be afraid of violence from their significant others of any kind.
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