Any straight men that were ever confused/curious? (like, bisexual, never)

[fleetiebelle]

I think there's less of a social stigma for women to say that they find another woman sexually attractive (not necessarily that they want to actually have sex with another woman.) I could say, "I'd do Salma Hayek" and nobody would bat an eyelash, but if a guy said, "I think Gerard Butler's hot," they'd get made fun of, at the very least.

[eger]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

I think there's less of a social stigma for women to say that they find another woman sexually attractive.

Most do it for attention

[Coolhand68]

CoolHand that was hilarious! LOL...Dude was definitely trying to get into your pants! LOL....But although I've been a little too forward with my thoughts here, what I do stand by is this: It would be wrong to believe that every man is in fact, curious....I can't argue that! Some men do actually fall on the bottom of the scale and have never even thought about it much. I do, however, have a hard time believing that this rating is more common because sexuality, like any other aspect of life can vary day by day. You may not feel the same way you felt 4 years ago about sex. For example, many men would agree that there are certain situations that make you feel more masculine or more feminine; most of us try hard to avoid the latter. I mean think about it, how do you know you'll like oral sex until you've actually tried it? You dont grow up a prepubescent boy thinking "Oh getting my nob snobbed is gonna feel so good"...What happens is you get an erection from something you look at or think about and take it from there. The curiousity of acts is what drives the actual bi-sexual behavior....not necessarily attraction. Let me explain....

I don't believe that it is strictly curiosity that drives bi-sexual behavior. Curiosity may be the vehicle that takes you from point a to b, but there has to be some initial desire and attraction to be with someone of the same sex, a natural attraction that is something completely different than curiosity. I think most people who use the term bi-curious are folks who don't want to be labeled as gay or bi-sexual, so they ad the "curious" to the front of it which relieves them of any feelings of guilt or a hard and fast label.

So I take it that you aren't that big on researching what sexually curious men mental processes are. Well if you ever listen to em, they'll say "I have no interest in the actual guy I just fanatasize about the "snitzle" while Im watching hetero porn, I dont know where it came from"...This is a common theme among sexually curious men with no prior interest or curiosity in engaging in such behavior. So to these men, out of the blue, came this desire to "experiment". These men, just like you, have become much more self aware in a context that they realize how their feelings an attractions can vary as a function of time and actual experience. This goes much deeper than "GAY" or "straight". What I want to get across (and this is not in reference to you) is that many are forced to withdrawal from these fluctuations of sexual interest because of what society deems appropriate, and condition themselves to accept only a certain behavior from themselves. And then you have this "outspurt" of 50+ year old married men who have a need to tap into this mode of experimentation, not only sexually, but everything else they feel curious of.

You're right, I'm not terribly interested in researching what the gay-curious man's processes are, because I don't think it warrants an explanation. You are what you are, and I don't feel compelled to peel back layers of one's pysche in order to figure out why they are bi-sexual. I accept them for who and what they are, regardless of their sexuality and I honestly don't wonder why. At the same time, I also have not questioned my own sexuality nor have I ever been curious about what it would be like to be with another man. As to these men who suddenly out of the blue wish to experiment but haven't due to societal pressures...I'd argue that they've been repressing those feelings for a long time and it wasn't just a sudden shift in taste or curiosity. True that the pressure from society and family could be responsible for all those years of being sexually repressed, but I think it was always there and not just something they discovered.

I apologize if I gave the impression that its impossible not to want "snitzle"(LOL). Thats insane, fem-holes feel great. But trust, just because its something you never thought about today doesn't mean its something you wont think of tommorow. You have gay men going straight and straight men going gay all the like. Its because healthy lives will "predictably" vary and thoughts will change as times goes by. I stick by my thoughts that its important not to put a limit on all that life has to offer and accept thoughts and feelings as they come, without dismissing them because of what is considered "correct" in society. I also stick by the assumption the above results would be much different with women then they would be with men because of the detached stigma to women experimenting...do you think Im wrong?

I do agree that women are more easily "forgiven" for lack of a better term in regard to bi-sexuality. I don't think anyone should deprive themselves of a full and happy sex life because of what is considered "correct" in society when speaking of consenting adults. But how do you explain those who diddle children or men and women who are into beastiality? Aren't they victims of what society considers "incorrect" based on your observations? I'm not comparing gay men to child molesters, but your argument could be made for both based on the reasons you've provided. Would you vehemently defend men who have sexual thoughts of children because they are "curious" or wish to experiment? Would that be considered self-aware as you say?

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by max's mama

Is it safe to say that women are more bi-curious then men? What do you guys think?

I don't think so. I think women are less hung up about it. No one will question your femininity for expressing a desire to be with both men and women. A man who expresses bi-sexual tendencies will be emasculated in the eyes of other men and women. I'd say the scales are about even, it's just been deemed more acceptable by society for women.

[gwynedd1]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

I don't think so. I think women are less hung up about it. No one will question your femininity for expressing a desire to be with both men and women. A man who expresses bi-sexual tendencies will be emasculated in the eyes of other men and women. I'd say the scales are about even, it's just been deemed more acceptable by society for women.

Hi Coolhand68,

Of course. Few diseases are passed between women. Male on male sex is messy and invasive.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by gwynedd1

Hi Coolhand68,

Of course. Few diseases are passed between women. Male on male sex is messy and invasive.

I don't think the threat of disease prevents men from being with other men. The same guys who would take their chances with risky women would just as easily take chances with other risky men.

[firstella]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

I don't believe that it is strictly curiosity that drives bi-sexual behavior. Curiosity may be the vehicle that takes you from point a to b, but there has to be some initial desire and attraction to be with someone of the same sex, a natural attraction that is something completely different than curiosity. I think most people who use the term bi-curious are folks who don't want to be labeled as gay or bi-sexual, so they ad the "curious" to the front of it which relieves them of any feelings of guilt or a hard and fast label.



You're right, I'm not terribly interested in researching what the gay-curious man's processes are, because I don't think it warrants an explanation. You are what you are, and I don't feel compelled to peel back layers of one's pysche in order to figure out why they are bi-sexual. I accept them for who and what they are, regardless of their sexuality and I honestly don't wonder why. At the same time, I also have not questioned my own sexuality nor have I ever been curious about what it would be like to be with another man. As to these men who suddenly out of the blue wish to experiment but haven't due to societal pressures...I'd argue that they've been repressing those feelings for a long time and it wasn't just a sudden shift in taste or curiosity. True that the pressure from society and family could be responsible for all those years of being sexually repressed, but I think it was always there and not just something they discovered.




I do agree that women are more easily "forgiven" for lack of a better term in regard to bi-sexuality. I don't think anyone should deprive themselves of a full and happy sex life because of what is considered "correct" in society when speaking of consenting adults. But how do you explain those who diddle children or men and women who are into beastiality? Aren't they victims of what society considers "incorrect" based on your observations? I'm not comparing gay men to child molesters, but your argument could be made for both based on the reasons you've provided. Would you vehemently defend men who have sexual thoughts of children because they are "curious" or wish to experiment? Would that be considered self-aware as you say?

CoolHand, It just might be the case that there are "curious" folks out there who wish to have sex with children....The problem that lies is not the actual "curiousity" but the outcome if one were to act on it....Just a couple of centuries ago such behavior was accepted and even encouraged! And even today you will meet very few men that havent been attracted to someone under the age of 18...Attraction aint gonna dissolve because of the attractor's age, just as attraction may not quit because of the attractor's gender...The issue is the affects this behavior has on the "victim" or the one who is not cognitively mature (ie children) enough to understand and accept this behavior inflicted upon them. Therefore this curiosity SHOULD be repressed based on its ability to harm others who are not available for such reception-Im basing this on the science of brain maturation and how long it takes to be fully functional. Unlike homosexualty, this is based on research, not the publics opinion of it. Beastiality on the other hand is something that is formed between consenting adults (I hope) and therefore can only be tied to Bi-curiosity in the context of mutual interest. Im pretty sure there are many people who wish to go upside their bosses head a couple of times a day but repress it because of the detriments that follow..... from an unhappy and unconsenting boss

But as for your first comment about curiosity, I believe we all in some form or the other have an attraction to the same sex, whether it becomes sexual or not. This is how we adapt and mold ourselves into society and understand whats "good looking" and whats not, whats masculine, whats not.... Human beings tend to compare themselves subconciously to their percieved equals. Thats how one realizes he himself is confident, or attractive, or ugly...your god-given urge to compare alongside your feedback from others, regardless of which gender its from. We often rely on our same sex counterparts to gauge our levels of competence in masculinity/femininity, and psychologists would agree that these ultimately affect sexuality....lemme explain

I am a believer that sexuality, for many folks, can be fluctuating and a direct correlate of how you percieve yourself at a particular moment. So when I hear a guy say "I just want to touch or hold the "snitzle" and feel what it likes to be in the woman's position" its often nothing more than a fluctuation of feelings towards one self, in regards to a differential point of time of feeling more masculine or more feminine which will always change regardless of gender. The reason that straight men (or gay men) have been able to stabilize one or the other is because of their perceived place in society. Gay men are much more comfortable being "feminine" because the cat is already out the bag. Straight men try hard to hang on to "masculinity" and may become depressed and irrational when they feel it is threatened. Therefore getting fem-hole is a way to maintain and possess more of those good ol endorphins that up-play your masculinity....its expected of u

From your comments about "not giving a crap", you seem like a really good friend and a great all around person. I wouldn't mind keeping you around for good...You're REAL

[firstella]

And Also You are very correct about the examples of child molesters and beast people. But you wont find molesters walking around priding themselves on it either which implies that there is a shame component attached to it, and hence something that needs to be hidden in fear of rejection.....In an inner city, you may easily see a 34 yr old Male with a 15 yr old girl, WHY???? because he has been raised to think that such behavior is OK, its only shameful when others say so, and hence your developing a "self" that is responding to the world around u. Crazy people cant help it, they dont understand that certain things are wrong, therefore they dont count...But you will never see a sane man molest a kid and think its OK. Atleast not since Greek rule! LOL

[amsherwo]

I'm not a guy, but one of my exes, who was of the conservative, Catholic, Republican variety (we didn't have much in common) cheated on the girl he was with after me with some dude he met on Craigslist...multiple times...b/c apparently he'd always been curious. Wow, was that the shock of a lifetime!

[Jays1983]

Artsy, are you working on filling your pipeline with this thread? No pun intended. =-)