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Of there are exceptions to every generalization... but of all the men I've encountered so far, the ones that have impressed me with their minds have been formally educated. And I see no reason to make any specific search to find a non-formally educated intellectual man. It could be the area I live in. If a person has gone straight from high school into the work force, he doesn't seem to have the time or the interest to keep learning on his own. He gets caught up in earning a living and buying material things, like a fast car.
And while I've never met an intellectual person that was home schooled, I probably would avoid a man that was home schooled as a child. I believe that it's important for a child to be in a more formal classroom setting surrounded by his peers. I don't think that home schooled children are under socialized. I realize I could be wrong, but that's my gut feeling on home schooling.
Yes. Looking back at the three of them, and I did bump into my first boyfriend about two years ago while seeing some old friends playing in a local club, I feel that their lack of higher education made them people that weren't interested in reading good books or learning new academic topics. They seemed to be content staying at their same level of knowledge about everything. Meanwhile, I was always picking up new interests and hobbies, and even trying different jobs. I was still growing as a person, but they weren't. And in the years I was with them, by the time I broke up with them, they were exactly the same men I first met, but while I was basically the same person just with extra interests. And my love for them faded because they weren't interesting to me anymore as people. My initial infatuation faded on schedule with the average lifespan of that relationship honeymoon period.
With my ex hubbie, it was worse because I also found out that he didn't like paying a mortgage and missed our cheap rented apartment. He wasn't excited about building equity in ourselves. Working harder when he was young in order to be able to retire in comfort wasn't important to him. He wasn't good about saving, and I let him drive one of my two cars. He basically drove it into the ground. Little things would break on the car and he would procrastinate on getting them fixed (broken window, leaking CV boot until the axle needed to be replaced). Finally the cost of repairing the car properly greatly outweighed its value. I also found out that he was an alcoholic in denial. He also smoked, but only outside the house. Fortunately we had no children, so I felt it best to divorce him sooner than later. We dated for two years and were married for one year. I was maddest about how he trashed my little car... and I still am.
And my past relationship experiences are what helped me create my personal deal breaker list.
1. Must be at least college educated.
2. Must be an active thinker.
3. Must be a moderate drinker.
4. Must not smoke.
5. Must love dogs and cats.
6. Must have commonsense about money.
7. Must have moral values similar to mine.
8. Doesn't want children.
9. Is not religious, preferably an atheists.
10. Not into professional sports.
Etc... I do try to learn from my past mistakes.
Surely, we all have our preferences. It could very well be the area you are in. I have met some really intelligent men who make an excellent living and they never finished/never went to college.
Some of the most educated people I have met during my travels around the world have... for the most part, been the most ignorant about real life!
I have two friends that are in their late thirties that tell me they will only marry a virgin, I know a girl who will only date a guy if he is at least... two inches taller than her, and know another girl that will only 'look' at guys with matching clothes, luggage, and 'later' underwear.
To me... only dating people with higher education or NOT dating someone with lesser education is the same kind of weird quirk.
And my past relationship experiences are what helped me create my personal deal breaker list.
1. Must be at least college educated.
2. Must be an active thinker.
3. Must be a moderate drinker.
4. Must not smoke.
5. Must love dogs and cats.
6. Must have commonsense about money.
7. Must have moral values similar to mine.
8. Doesn't want children.
9. Is not religious, preferably an atheists.
10. Not into professional sports.
Etc... I do try to learn from my past mistakes.
You forgot one. He must be a responsible driver - and must not be a flake behind the wheel. I remembered your #11 for you!
Some of the most educated people I have met during my travels around the world have... for the most part, been the most ignorant about real life!
I have two friends that are in their late thirties that tell me they will only marry a virgin, I know a girl who will only date a guy if he is at least... two inches taller than her, and know another girl that will only 'look' at guys with matching clothes, luggage, and 'later' underwear.
To me... only dating people with higher education or NOT dating someone with lesser education is the same kind of weird quirk.
Surely, we all have our preferences. It could very well be the area you are in. I have met some really intelligent men who make an excellent living and they never finished/never went to college.
You certainly know what's best for you.
Well... realistically, how many different men do I really want to date in my lifetime? I've always chosen quality over quantity. And if I was having difficulties in finding a suitable man to date, of course I would be tempted to compromise my ideals. But so far, I've not needed to. Shrug.
And I'm not at all surprised by the male responses in this thread. As usual, men look for physical beauty first. And inner beauty is fine, but not if that person is very boring to talk to. I really count on my mate to keep up with me mentally. And it wouldn't be healthy for our romance if I had to turn to other people for my intellectual stimulation. I'm just a geeky woman that needs a geeky man.
My father is a VERY bright man. He never went to college due to various circumstances but mostly financial. Probably one of his regrets and why he pushed my sister and me to do well academically (which we were gifted towards).
With that said, speaking as someone that went to an *elite* college program, meaning harvard, MIT level requirements...it is absolutely crazy to look down your nose at others for the path thier life lead them. I'm not saying you want to be crazy about things....just open minded. thats all.
My dad had an 8th grade education. He owned his own business. He didn't make millions but he moved us 2,000 miles to a much better life. It taught us the value of self improvement and creating quality of life. He also placed an emphasis on going to college.
There is certainly a difference between less than favorable circumstances preventing one from going to college and someone who would have never have made it to or through college no matter what opportunities were available to them. In the former, many find ways to educate and enlighten themselves and they're still able to succeed.
It wouldn't bother me. For one thing, people's education goes far beyond college, and like the song goes, "..the things that she knows how to do can't be learned in a book". We're not likely to talk about the social ramifications of Descartes' philosophy, after all.
Unintelligent people? My ex never attended college, but we always worked the word puzzles in the newspaper every day, and we liked crossword puzzle books too. The Scrabble, the Jumble, Word Warp, and the Cryptogram. She even did me one better. I liked having at least ONE letter as a hint...she would do them without any hints.
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