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Someone who is proactive about their health is very important. I see so many people harming themselves long term with bad diet, drinking, and lack of exercise.
I like to meet people who know how to have a conversation. Man, it's like torture to talk to some people. They act like your bothering them. I won't try to pull out a conversation if they aren't willing to.
This has happened at several social situations where they're putting themselves in that position. Going to a party and just sitting there staring at other people? Don't want to be bothered? Stay the F home then....
I no longer want a partner, so I'm not sure if you'd be interested in my reasons why or not.
As a woman, when I've been involved with a man, I inevitably had more work than when I was single. Men are high maintenance. Men think they are contributing a fair amount to a relationship, but they rarely are. And if they are contributing equally or more, it's usually only a financial contribution that they are contributing - not an equal physical effort.
There is the occasional woman who finds a man who will provide maids and nannies and chefs, etc. But this is not the norm.
Plus, men will inevitably want more sex than the woman wants. So, what happens is, she has done more than her physical share of work - often working a full-time job, then expected to clean, cook, do laundry, take care of kids, compromise on what she really wants to watch on television - and then when she falls into bed exhausted - the husband will want sex. And/or he'll want sex when she wakes up. Followed by him asking her where his socks are, or what's for breakfast, or did she pick up the dry cleaning.
So, honestly, in the retirement world, it is much harder for a man to find a female partner, because the available pool of women who might be interested in him, will have shrunk enormously. When a woman is young and in love and still has the Disney idea of romance, she is more apt to fall into the overworked trap I describe above. But, once that veneer has worn off, and she's older and wiser, she's not likely to go along for the ride based on some notion of romance. By then, she knows the reality of being tired and taken for granted.
So, you really have to think more in terms of what you have to offer. If you are obese, you are obviously not an Adonis, so a woman is not going to be drawn to you purely for your good looks. So, what can you offer her that is better for her than living alone? If she lives alone, she can eat what she wants, when she wants, can sleep when she feels like it without being disturbed by snoring or a man who wants sex. She won't be expected to cook or clean, etc.
So, really, what is it that you have to offer a woman that is better for her than living alone with all of the above freedom? That's what you need to figure out.
For me, you couldn't tempt me, even if you were Adonis LOL. I love the freedom I have. I love that nobody bothers me about any extra weight. I don't have to discuss what's for dinner. I don't have to do anyone's laundry but my own.
Men overestimate their worth when it comes to traditional men's chores, too, by the way. Which entails, what, normally? Taking the garbage out? Piece of cake. Mowing the lawn once a week? Easily paid for. Chopping wood? Also, easily bought, if someone even needs this anymore. That's pretty much it. So, obviously nowhere near the realm of what women do in a household. Meaning, that the loss of a man is usually a lessening of work, as opposed to a loss of benefits.
You may dismiss me as a feminist, but if you look logically at the reality of a woman's life, you'll see that I'm right. So, how you make her life easier by being in it - is up to you.
OMG! YES! YES! YES! to every word you just wrote.
My ex made a ton of money and obsessively mowed the lawn. That's it. Oh, and he did our taxes.
I was a SAHM and took care of a 4000 SF house, 2 large dogs, 2 small children, meals, shopping, cleaning, laundry, sex, flower beds, and activities planning/transportation. After 16 years of marriage, I was mentally and physically exhausted, a shell of my former unmarried and independent self. I used to tell my friends that if I had to live in a cage, it might as well be gilded.
I have been divorced for over 10 years now, and there's no way in hell I would ever consider marriage again.
I like to meet people who know how to have a conversation. Man, it's like torture to talk to some people. They act like your bothering them. I won't try to pull out a conversation if they aren't willing to.
This has happened at several social situations where they're putting themselves in that position. Going to a party and just sitting there staring at other people? Don't want to be bothered? Stay the F home then....
I have a version of this with prospective new friends I meet at organized activities. It's so frustrating. It seems like the majority of these people are ones that have lived in the same neighborhood since childhood and never made any new friends until the ones they had moved away and died off. When I work at connecting with them, I have to do all the work in the conversation, be funny and entertaining and upbeat, draw them out by asking polite questions, while they either complain about all their problems or just act very passive or both.
When we're young, we may value physical beauty. We may look at a partner and just want hottest person we can get as a partner! We may be seeking material wealth, and only want to associate ourselves with a similar point of view.
What values do you seek in a partner as a senior? What did you previously want, but no longer place high importance on? What did you formerly want, but no longer care about?
As an obese man, this interests me.
As a 71 YO fat man I still appreciate a hot looking 23 YO female. If I ever find a smokin hot 23 YO Female that could carry on an intelligent conversation I would ask herb to marry me. Fat chance of that happening. LOL.
NoMoreSnowForMe made me laugh and remind me of my grandmother, when asked by me at my grandfather's funeral, if she wanted to get married again and she stated loud and clear "Why in Hell would I want to do that again?".....I surely get it now.
NoMoreSnowForMe made me laugh and remind me of my grandmother, when asked by me at my grandfather's funeral, if she wanted to get married again and she stated loud and clear "Why in Hell would I want to do that again?".....I surely get it now.
My ex made a ton of money and obsessively mowed the lawn. That's it. Oh, and he did our taxes.
I was a SAHM and took care of a 4000 SF house, 2 large dogs, 2 small children, meals, shopping, cleaning, laundry, sex, flower beds, and activities planning/transportation. After 16 years of marriage, I was mentally and physically exhausted, a shell of my former unmarried and independent self. I used to tell my friends that if I had to live in a cage, it might as well be gilded.
I have been divorced for over 10 years now, and there's no way in hell I would ever consider marriage again.
this made me laugh
too true!
when i got divorced after 14 years, my mother was aghast when i told her, she spluttered and stuttered and kept saying "you can't do that! you just can't do that!" i asked her why not, and do you know what came flying out of her mouth? (i thought oh no, here it comes, the shame, the worry about my financial future, the kids from a broken home, the being single and alone) nope none of that
do you know what she said? She said "you can't do that....who will mow the lawn?"
which he never did anyway.
he paid the kid down the street.
he actually argued with the little 9 year old kid down the street who mowed the lawn trying to dicker him down on the price. it was a humiliating conversation to witness. (the man made high 6 figures income, arguing with a little kid). i followed the little kid home and gave him more money.
I didn't read any of the other answers yet because I didn't want to be swayed but here's mine.
1. Honor and Honesty. If you don't have this you have nothing.
2. Integrity
3. Generosity
I am so blessed I've taken to generous tipping as a way to spread the wealth around. On the occasion when I eat at a fast food restaurant (Chik-Fil-A is healthy) I tip. I get a $10 meal and I will tip $2 because that $2 really means something to someone working behind the counter for $1 more than minimum wage.
I am a believer that it is important to have regular changes in engine oil on vehicles. I got this from my flying days when at $50,000 an engine you really took care of them. I get oil changes like a religion and when I do I always tip the worker $10 cash money and thank him for the work he did for me. After being a regular and doing this for several years I get great, great service.
I am not throwing money away I am getting a great smile out of someone and that is worth more than the money.
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