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Old 06-05-2018, 06:48 AM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,972 posts, read 12,487,957 times
Reputation: 8718

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hefe View Post
I understand that these are both good places to live in general, but I wonder if I wouldn't feel as if I was on a tiny "blue" island surrounded by an ocean of "red" & reminded of it every time I looked at the news what the state was doing or took a drive out of town. I lived for years in red states & it was no big deal but there is such intense tribal feelings now that it seems different.
I can see how living in those areas could be as you say. Living on a tiny blue island, in an ocean of red. Especially if one hasn't lived in that type of state. My view is gay people do have restrictions on where we can live. We might like to think, its a thing of the past. I don't think so. Some states I would feel completely uncomfortable in, and with good reason. I deal with some of it now in Central Fla. Overly religious, and many native to the area. Especially the further from Metros one goes. Mindsets and viewpoints that are outdated, judgemental and just plain unwelcoming. All of Fla is not Ft Lauderdale, or Disneyworld. Much of it is as old south as Alabama and Miss. I was surprised how much so, by this late date In time. There is a gay church in the area here. I went one time out of desperation to meet other gay people. They were nice enough, but very closeted. They have a rear door hidden from the street, for those afraid of being seen entering the church. It was like a secret society, and I knew I could not go backwards in life like this. I never returned, which is fine
I'm not religious at all.

I guess my point is its 2018, gay marriage is legal. Many no longer care who is st8 or gay. However there are vast areas of the USA, where mindsets are decades back, for whatever reason. We really do have to be careful where we live, more so at this older age.
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Old 06-05-2018, 07:03 AM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,972 posts, read 12,487,957 times
Reputation: 8718
Quote:
Originally Posted by madrone2k View Post
This is a bit of a ramble (sorry :-).

I visited Asheville 1.5 years ago and liked it a lot. I often heard it referred to as being like Austin, and while I can see some similarities in the youth culture there, I find Asheville to have the feel of a quite smaller town, which it is. It was somewhat humid when I was there (in August) and that opinion is coming from a Houston native. Not as bad as on the coast, like in Charleston SC (which nevertheless has a very charming historic district).

As for Austin ... well I love it from my undergraduate days, way back in prehistory. I still like it, but it has horrible traffic and blast-furnace summers, like all other big Texas cities. Just to inform people, the counties containing the big cities: Houston, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio all have voted Democratic in recent presidential elections. I've lived in more-or-less the inner part of Houston for most of my 64 years (36 with another male) and have never had a problem because of it, at least to my knowledge. So, I would not necessarily use that criterion to rule out Texas cities, although there may be plenty of other reasons, depending on one's tastes.

I expect to move away from Houston before long, but haven't decided where. Austin could be fun, but don't want to spend summers there. Santa Fe is nice, but probably too small for me. My sister lives in southern LA County, so that is a draw, plus the relatively nice weather. The major difficulty with that is availability and affordability of a residence I'd be happy with. I have a friend in the NE and thru him I've seen some nice places there. However, as I get older, I think it will be harder for me to adjust to that kind of geographic change. At least with LA, I've had family there all my life and it's almost like a second home.
it wasn't a ramble at all. I enjoyed reading your story. Yes LA would be a COL from hell. I lived in San Diego in the 80s, its always been expensive. I'm from the Boston area,
Another very high COL. There is no way I can afford New England again, which is part of the reason I'm in Fla. Its on the coast I hail from, however now I have very little family left. So it doesn't really matter where I retire.

If you can manage the cost of LA, and have family there. I would definitely consider going there. Best of Luck.
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Old 06-05-2018, 06:31 PM
 
15,195 posts, read 31,148,588 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimrob1 View Post
it wasn't a ramble at all. I enjoyed reading your story. Yes LA would be a COL from hell. I lived in San Diego in the 80s, its always been expensive. I'm from the Boston area,
Another very high COL. There is no way I can afford New England again, which is part of the reason I'm in Fla. Its on the coast I hail from, however now I have very little family left. So it doesn't really matter where I retire.

If you can manage the cost of LA, and have family there. I would definitely consider going there. Best of Luck.
Jimrob, I have followed your posts for awhile now. I am sorry Lakeland did not work out as well as you would have liked. I think you would really love St. Pete; however, it is becoming quite costly there, which I am sure is a factor for you. I liked Lakeland when I lived there, but it definitely has a much more conservative feel than St. Pete or Sarasota where I live now.
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Old 06-05-2018, 10:31 PM
 
Location: Houston
1,151 posts, read 950,739 times
Reputation: 1291
Thanks, Jimrob1. I'm one of those kinds of people that dithers a lot about making life decisions such as this. Referring back to the OP's topic: I think I would find it tough to be happy in a small town, but perhaps other people would find that much more to their liking. My friend in Delaware has suggested places like Rehoboth Beach, which is very nice, but I guess I'm not a small-town kind of guy. It's kinda fun to think about, since my mom used to talk about spending summers as a kid in Cape May, NJ. But ... I didn't grow up there and don't know any one there other than my friend in DE.

So, maybe southern LA County will work out. But gosh, the housing situation. One must lower expectations.
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Old 06-05-2018, 10:53 PM
 
Location: Houston
1,151 posts, read 950,739 times
Reputation: 1291
Going back to what Hefe and others were mentioning, watching/reading the national media does give me the feeling that many people in our country are being motivated to become more virulently tribalistic. Which includes fear & hatred of "the others". Aside from my concern for my own personal well-being, i also feel concerned from my country. This is not a good thing, going forward.
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Old 06-06-2018, 08:36 AM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,972 posts, read 12,487,957 times
Reputation: 8718
Quote:
Originally Posted by gypsychic View Post
Jimrob, I have followed your posts for awhile now. I am sorry Lakeland did not work out as well as you would have liked. I think you would really love St. Pete; however, it is becoming quite costly there, which I am sure is a factor for you. I liked Lakeland when I lived there, but it definitely has a much more conservative feel than St. Pete or Sarasota where I live now.
Thank you Gypsychic for your. kind post. I did consider St Pete at one time. I did cross it off my list for 2 reasons. It did become on the expensive side, and is very congested. Otherwise it is a nice location

I have to tell you I do like Lakeland to a point. I certainly don't hate it, as a number of people seem to. The people I've met in St Pete and Tampa. have no use for Lakeland or Polk County. No one would visit me here, I would have to go there. Its a long rather dangerous drive on I4.

I really tried to make Lakeland work
I had no idea Fla allowed 55 + parks, to allow such troubled people to move in. Many are not even 45. The cops are always here. Many seem to be from other countries, and the houses are not kept up. I've tried to sell twice, and it didn't sell. The lot rent keeps going up, but no amenities here. I'm also not in a great part of Lakeland. I'm on the West Side. Lakeland is getting crowded, and the crime is very alarming. So live and learn is how I deal with it. I tried for senior housing in Polk. County. Even though I'm a veteran. I was told I don't qualify because my income is over$17 000 a year. I was told I'd have to move to another region of the state, and be on waitlist for several years. So its understandable I feel like I'm not really welcome, or appreciated as a retiree here. So I'm looking, really what else can I do.
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Old 06-06-2018, 08:42 AM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,972 posts, read 12,487,957 times
Reputation: 8718
Quote:
Originally Posted by madrone2k View Post
Going back to what Hefe and others were mentioning, watching/reading the national media does give me the feeling that many people in our country are being motivated to become more virulently tribalistic. Which includes fear & hatred of "the others". Aside from my concern for my own personal well-being, i also feel concerned from my country. This is not a good thing, going forward.
I feel the exact same way. Something is up and I think things will come to a head. This country has become a scary fearful place on many levels. Its no wonder it's such a difficult decision on where to live. It's just very difficult to go forward anymore.
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Old 06-06-2018, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Lakeland, Florida
6,972 posts, read 12,487,957 times
Reputation: 8718
Quote:
Originally Posted by madrone2k View Post
Thanks, Jimrob1. I'm one of those kinds of people that dithers a lot about making life decisions such as this. Referring back to the OP's topic: I think I would find it tough to be happy in a small town, but perhaps other people would find that much more to their liking. My friend in Delaware has suggested places like Rehoboth Beach, which is very nice, but I guess I'm not a small-town kind of guy. It's kinda fun to think about, since my mom used to talk about spending summers as a kid in Cape May, NJ. But ... I didn't grow up there and don't know any one there other than my friend in DE.

So, maybe southern LA County will work out. But gosh, the housing situation. One must lower expectations.
You could try in Riverside and San Bernardino counties. The COL is lower in that region. Than LA County. You could easily drive to LA County from there.

Rehoboth Beach is very touristy and crowded for the season. Other than then there isn't much there. It might be more than you could comfortably adjust to. Including the cold windy winters.

Hopefully we can all help one another figure this part of life out. Personally I'm sick of trying to figure out where to retire. Either I'm priced out of areas I'd be better off in
Or if the area is affordable, its main populations are conservative family types, religion this that and the other. I can't expect myself to live in those environments. It gets to the point. Just what the he'll has the US become. A completely divided, self segregated mess, that calls itself the United States. It doesn't feel very United to me. I guess we just keep trying, not much else can we do.
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Old 06-06-2018, 10:29 AM
 
4,432 posts, read 2,611,082 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jimrob1 View Post
Thank you Gypsychic for your. kind post. I did consider St Pete at one time. I did cross it off my list for 2 reasons. It did become on the expensive side, and is very congested. Otherwise it is a nice location

I have to tell you I do like Lakeland to a point. I certainly don't hate it, as a number of people seem to. The people I've met in St Pete and Tampa. have no use for Lakeland or Polk County. No one would visit me here, I would have to go there. Its a long rather dangerous drive on I4.

I really tried to make Lakeland work
I had no idea Fla allowed 55 + parks, to allow such troubled people to move in. Many are not even 45. The cops are always here. Many seem to be from other countries, and the houses are not kept up. I've tried to sell twice, and it didn't sell. The lot rent keeps going up, but no amenities here. I'm also not in a great part of Lakeland. I'm on the West Side. Lakeland is getting crowded, and the crime is very alarming. So live and learn is how I deal with it. I tried for senior housing in Polk. County. Even though I'm a veteran. I was told I don't qualify because my income is over$17 000 a year. I was told I'd have to move to another region of the state, and be on waitlist for several years. So its understandable I feel like I'm not really welcome, or appreciated as a retiree here. So I'm looking, really what else can I do.
Often it doesn't matter straight or gay.

Jim Rob, I just popped into your thread out of curiosity.

I own an inherited property outside Tampa. I will never live there. It has two units to rent out.

In 2002, my other half and I drove down so I could take my other half to Disney World and we stopped by the property.

I had not been to Disney since 1990, but had been enough tines prior to that,(every winter for a decade) that I could give the tour. I was thoroughly disappointed in what Orlando has become. We went to downtown Disney, which is outside the park and has no admission cost during the late day our last day there. As dusk set in, the place changed in "clientele " as darkness was arriving. We were amazed, felt insecure and were fairly certain the "bad element" of Orlando was there to somehow rip off the tourists. So we left earlier than we would have. It's unfortunate the human element invading at night made us feel this way.

Then we drive to my small town, also not been there since 1990 ( property is managed, so I don't deal with the day to day operations, just collect payment and relax and replenish the repair fund if necessary). I was amazed how crowded the small town outside tampa had become. Whereas the property was once out on the edge of town, because of that low income housing was built out there on formerly vacant land. Guess who populates it? The dregs of Tampa society who moved out and brought their attitudes with them.
Also on what was once a real outside of town property that a family member owns, had been built up all around. The "small town " was now a small city.
Trailer parks everywhere out there. Cheap housing breeds cheap people. Cheap people tend to cause problems, especially younger ones.
I lived down there in 1990, near my property and was robbed via home invasion!! ( home invasion is when they break in while you are home, hold you hostage via gun or in my case, big giant sharp hunting knife, and rob you of all your valuables).
I left and won't ever now live in my property.

We were also surprised how "dirty" that area of Florida was. Inside Disney is squeaky clean, outlying areas "dirty", as in filthy dirty properties, garbage everywhere, and junk everywhere. Distressed properties, some looked abandoned.

We have choosen an area in the south, but it's not in Florida at all.

Sorry it didn't work out for you. But I'm not surprised.

If you want to know where we are going, you can direct message me. I won't publicly share where we are going, but will share if you keep it to yourself. There are two areas we are strongly considering, and will decide when we are closer to actually retiring, if things there don't change much.

Good luck relocating, whether to somewhere else or where I, or others, may suggest.

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Old 06-06-2018, 10:31 AM
 
62 posts, read 25,045 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gentle ben View Post
i am a single gay retiree who would like to retire to a small town with a mild winter and a warm summer without excessive humidity. I really enjoy the outdoors, especially the mountains. A low cost of living is important. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks...ben
tmi!!!!
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