Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
. But really senior women far, far outnumber senior men. Why would it be so hard for a senior man to meet a woman? I would think it would be pretty easy.
From my observation at my independent senior housing, it is difficult because of the shape most men are in; bad. They are mostly looking for a woman to take care of them. Most women wanting men are not looking to be caregivers. If course, those men in good shape have no problem.
Quote:
. Another thing I've noticed is how society often paints women as desperate and needy for men, but really it's men who don't do well alone. Women, especially senior women usually do just fine. They are happy with their lady friends, church stuff, volunteering, gardening. It's men who just seem really sad and pitiful alone. I would think a man would be better of meeting a woman on a senior dating site like Our Time than getting a woman from overseas who could easily have ulterior motives for wanting to marry you.
Very true. The women I know are very happy going solo.
As many have rightly stated before, having someone to "take care of you" when you're old is no reason to have kids..
Never mind the fact that most grown kids do not take care of their parents and many never even see them when they're in assisted living facilities. I can't imagine anyone having children and assuming they will ever take care of you when you're old.
Whether you have children or not, the best planning involves being responsible for yourself.
We have no intention of being a total burden for our adult kids, but I am well aware that even when you are in assisted living or whatever your kids are still usually involved with some problems. We have tried to minimize issues by LTC plans, including home care, and savings to provide for our needs just as my parents did.
I have seen what another family member has gone through taking care of an elderly parent and I really think she will die before her parent due to stress, poor healthcare for herself (no time) and hard physical work. No way would I expect or want that from my kids.
When we went through quite a minor hospital visit, our kids were texting, calling and offering to come home to help. Very comforting to hear but as my mother used to say, “by taking care of yourself first you are actually helping others”.
From my observation at my independent senior housing, it is difficult because of the shape most men are in; bad. They are mostly looking for a woman to take care of them. Most women wanting men are not looking to be caregivers. If course, those men in good shape have no problem.
Very true. The women I know are very happy going solo.
Maybe they are men in the Midwest, not in California. The senior men here are very fit and attractive. I should know, I saw tons of them daily at the court. They are mostly in their 70s.
A lot of people w/ children are "dangerously unsupported" too.
Or they never stop supporting their kids. My older sister's fifty-something year old "child" lives with her and stepdad and always will because a he can't afford to move out on his own due to a dead end job that does not pay enough for him to strike out on his own. My younger sister has a thirty year old still living at home who only works occasionally for her dad. She is not moving anytime soon either. Both live in cities with a higher than normal COL.
I guess my sisters will leave these kids some money once they've passed on but knowing my niece and nephew they will squander whatever inheritance they may get and wind up living in the street.
At least they know they can't come to Aunt Minerva for money if that happens.
Or they never stop supporting their kids. My older sister's fifty-something year old "child" lives with her and stepdad and always will because a he can't afford to move out on his own due to a dead end job that does not pay enough for him to strike out on his own. My younger sister has a thirty year old still living at home who only works occasionally for her dad. She is not moving anytime soon either. Both live in cities with a higher than normal COL.
I guess my sisters will leave these kids some money once they've passed on but knowing my niece and nephew they will squander whatever inheritance they may get and wind up living in the street.
At least they know they can't come to Aunt Minerva for money if that happens.
Right. I have a friend who is still supporting her older son. I just listen when I hear from her now and then about it. Eventually she won't be able to...I suppose anyway. I can't imagine!
I am always amazed when people assume a child will care for a parent.
If you have had kids or are having kids just for the purpose of "them looking atfter you in old age", then you should not have had them or should not have them.
That amounts to child abuse just as much as a kid can be blamed for elder abuse for not caring for a parent.
Each of us should make plans that should cover ypurself without burdening your kids.
I font don't have kids both by choice and in that it never happened anyway, but i would never assume that a child of mine should look after us in older age.
YOU choose to bring a child into the world so it is your duty to care for them until they are grown. Used to be a century ago that kids were put out to work to earn their keep.
We stay in this frigid north area to look after FIL and father, as WE decided its a duty we wish to bear. But FIL with dementia has tge right to refuse services, does so, and shoukd be in a home but hes got enough of a mind to say no, and they have to abide his wishes. He wont get near enough to a doctor to be evaluated and forced into a home, and has stopped all medications and has stopped eating mostly. He wants nothing more but to die. Elder services told us we are actually enabling him to continue bad behavior, so to stop coddling him. We have.
But we are TRYING by OUR choice, not by being forced into it.
My father has already said he goes to a home if he gets too bad physically or mentally. He would not saddle us with the burden of his care. Smart man.
When we, as a childless couple get to a certain age where we both will be questionable, we will by then have set up a trust and an administrative staff to handle things should we get to a dangerous point.
No should expect undying tender loving care from a child just because you birthed them. Nor should any agency force a child or any family member to do so.
And judging by many comments on here many of you have kids who cannot stand alone or are ingrates anyway.
Do you really think they will suddenly grow up and be self responsible enough to be responsible for you and your care too just because or when you need it???
Also, there's no guarantee the child will by then be in any shape to care for the aging parent themselves.
My grandmother is 83, my mom is 61, and my aunt is 58. My aunt and I do the majority of the shopping, help around the house, etc., for my grandmother. My mom's health isn't good - my aunt's is somewhat better, but my grandmother was in far better shape at ~60 than they are around the same age.
All the caregiving and such is really wearing my aunt out. My aunt is stuck caring for her mom and her grandson. To an extent, my grandmother's unwillingness to recognize her own limitations is causing more work for other people.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
