Do Seattle's women hate black men in general or something? (income, tax)

[blueshogun96]

Originally Posted by kreebby

You do seem sexist in your post. "The games women play", uh, it takes two to tango my friend. I have the same complaint about many guys. Men can play games just as easily as women.

For starters, I never said men didn't play games. Many of them do, and it's friggin sad too. Second, I have the feeling that my post only sounds sexist because it criticizes women. If I were making critique about men in general, most of you would likely be okay with it or just brush it off. Since I say that political correctness is complete *******s, I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind.

Not to be adding fuel to the fire here, but why is it when women are criticized, they are quick to counter with "Well men do <insert despicable action which is generally true here> too, ya know!"? Why do you feel the need to level the playing field so quickly? Making a generally true statement isn't sexist. And if you ask me, any woman that's quick to jump to this sort of response (especially if it doesn't apply to them) really needs to check themselves.

Originally Posted by kreebby

Some people just aren't attracted to certain races. That's nothing personal, either.

Like I said before, it's okay to have preferences (I have my own), but I noticed that this preference is more common in this city than any city I've been to so far. Not even I exclude an entire race of people, and I've been told I have high standards too.

Originally Posted by Hemlock140

You cannot generalize about people of an area from the personal ads. There is a reason they have been forced to use online dating.

Well said; very logical.

Honestly, I noticed that this trend isn't limited to personal ads either.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

Blue Shogun.. Keep your head up buddy.. Women, especially on dating profiles can be vain, self-righteous and superficial. This is one reason I will never date on a dating website.

Indeed. I find women on dating sites to be quite appaling after reading their short and vain descriptions that mostly just make a few statements about what they don't want in a man, what that man must be/have (i.e. a good job, car, etc.) and at the same time don't really give any incentive as to why any man would want to be with her anyway. Seriously, we men aren't desperate, and the red flags tend to surface right away. We're not as stupid as TV portrays us to be! The last two women I took interest exhibited the fatal red flag of death within the very first sentence of their conversation(s) with me.

Hint to the ladies reading this: when you're first starting to get to know a man, NEVER EVER ask him what he does for a living or anything else concerning his income right away, especially as your very first question. The conscious man will take it as a sign that she's a grade-A gold digging Moderator cut: language and if he doesn't have a 5 or 6 figure income he'll likely think that she'll be turned off if he's honest about the fact that he only makes $20-40k/yr and will be tempted to lie about it if he actually is desperate. It's okay to ask eventually, just wait until later on.

Okay, now I'm just rambling on.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

You seem like a good guy. One thing you absolutely cannot do if dating in a place like Seattle, that is mostly Caucasian, is you, yourself, make race an issue. When I say that, I mean don't present yourself as a single "Black" professional or "black" man. Just introduce yourself as a man. I have seen more black men with white women then black women with white men. Please explain this to me? I think that it goes both ways.

Good advice. I don't immediately present myself as black, but as a "man" like you said I should. I just find it surprising that in this city, one that claims to be racially unbiased as much as it does, puts alot of emphasis on race when considering mates.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

When you are a minority in a place with a different ethnic makeup, you will have a bit tougher time. Imagine me, as a white guy, trying to find a date in a predominately black neighborhood of Detroit or New Orleans? I bet it would be lot harder for me, then for you to find a date in Seattle.

Yes, that makes sense, but it's a statistical and scientifically proven fact that women (in general) are attracted to money, power and fame. When you have one or any combination of the three, race and other physical attributes become less important to them.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

Anyway, you just got to leave your race aside, even if it hurts. Trust me, dating profiles can be offensive. Many women say they won't date a man who isn't 6 feet tall, a specific hair color or muscular build. Just more superficial online dating BS.

The only thing that bothers me is how these women can be so picky. For someone who's obviously having trouble finding a man, they sure are demanding. It's also a proven fact that men are more willing to compromise then women are. I don't ask for much, just the basics: be sane, courteous, kind, and a handful of the other traditional values and what not. Honestly, I could care less if a woman is black/white/red/yellow, short or tall, skinny or fat, big or small boobs (there, I said it) or anything like that. As long as she's a genuine person, that's what I care about. But of course, I have to feel some sort of attraction to her, and it doesn't take much to generate that with me.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

Basically, let go of any thoughts of being black. You're in a city of mostly white, Asian with a small minority black/latino. If you want to mix in the melting pot, go in there as a just a guy. You seem bright and open to culture mixing. I've met so many black guys who have just blended in and eventually find a white wife. You may also look into finding a group of friends. Meeting women through social events and friends usually results in them focusing more on your personality than your ethnicity. Dating sites just attract losers, IMO. Dating in this day and age just sucks.. Have a positive attitude, even when they put you down.. Ignore the losers and women who are bigoted.. Seattle has like 4+ million people.. You are bound to find the woman who will care for your inside, but it takes searching.

Solid advice.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

A lot of women know when a guy has it on the ball and that radiates.

This is generally true with older women. Younger ones don't catch on until their "hotness and youth" starts to fade.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

I also didn't finish my degree. I am a software developer and college degree in this career is worth about as much as the paper its written on. I'd rather spend the extra 3 years I would have in school taking liberal arts, basket weaving and other useless classes improving my programming knowledge and getting IT certs. Yeah, I have had a few women who told me they couldn't marry a man who doesn't have a degree either. I say, "Thanks for the espresso!" As that is where a majority of the college grads in the Pacific NW work.. Considering the lowly-element of creatures that get graduated out of colleges these days, I just think college in general is a joke. Not in every field, but many. For many fields, education begins after school. Most people in college learn about catching up and balancing their drinking/partying binges. To me, people who build up their self-worth on college degrees are usually very shallow, ignorant and lack real-world, applicable knowledge. People like this generally seem to be very narrow-minded and lack any depth. Yeah, Seattle is a college-educated city, but many people with these degrees end up not successful. If you are an IT guy, they cannot brag about their liberal arts education to you.

I agree with this 100% as it's in alignment with my thoughts on college exactly. A degree doesn't guarantee you success or a career. I've met numerous people with degrees who are homeless or are still having trouble finding a job. Quite frankly, I see a degree just preparing you to work for someone else (unless you're getting a business degree) and you don't need a degree to be a self-starter. Not trying to brag, but I'm a prime example of this. I'm not doing as well as I'd prefer, but I'm doing a heck of alot better than alot of people I know with degrees. I bust my butt trying to write the best video games I can possibly write/create/design and people/potential partners are already gaining interest in stuff I haven't even finished yet.

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

BTW.. My parents live next to a couple who is a black husband and white wife. The guy has yet to mention anything about being black to them. That doesn't even come up in any conversation ever. Very integrated and easy going guy. This is in PDX area, which is culturally similar to Seattle.

Is that in Idaho?

Originally Posted by MysticalDream

Kreebby, He doesn't sounds sexist at all, just discouraged. Give the guy a break.

Thanks. I'm glad someone doesn't jump to conclusions here and looks at things from a more logical perception. Like I said, I used to be sexist, but that was years ago when I was an ignorant kid. If I were to say "all women are whores and gold digging skanks" and what not, that would be sexist. Criticism isn't sexist, especially when it's needed in some areas. We men need it too (and believe me, we get more than our fair share of it thanks to femininazis and the media), but we don't cry sexism all the time, now do we?

Originally Posted by Bill Loney

This statement lends itself to a bigger question.

As a white male, I don't (or haven't) date black women. Now mind you, I'm not against the idea per se. But I'm not so sure I want to deal with all that goes with a biracial relationship. That is a meaningful consideration.

Does this make me racist? I would like to think not. I am quite confident there are many black women that feel the same way about dating white men. And black men who feel the same about dating white women.

Is it possible when women say that say "they don't like black men" (I'm paraphrasing your comments) that what they are saying is they don't want to go down the biracial relationship road?

You didn't read my entire post, did you? I addressed this above already by stating that it's okay to have preferences.

Originally Posted by seattlenextyear

What brand of fleece are you wearing? That might be your problem.

What's that supposed to mean?

Originally Posted by hamellr

According to a very good female friend who enjoys professional black males, when white women say that they don't like black men, what they're REALLY saying, is that they don't like the stereotypical uneducated, hustling to make a buck, gang member wanna-be, who may have a criminal record, black men.

Then they should be more specific. I don't have a problem with that because it's a reasonable demand which I'd say if I were a woman myself.

Originally Posted by willow9713

My thoughts are this:

You are a never going to find a date or girlfriend or wife until you have a real heart to heart talk with yourself. Are you as angry and hurt in person as you are in this dialog? if so consider a bit of therapy. You first have to love yourself before others can love you.

I'm not angry, I just want other people's opinions and experiences.

Originally Posted by willow9713

Remeber when pointing fingers there are always 3 pointing back at you.

Real love finds you when you are not looking for it and smackes you upside the head.

I hope you find exactly what it is you are looking for. Have a blessed day!

I never said I was looking, did I? Appreciate your post either way.

Originally Posted by JL1585

Sup bro? I'm actually black, and while I haven't spent ALOT of time in Seattle, I have spent time in Seattle on 4 separate occasions in the past year and a half. Everytime I was present in the city the women have been nothing but open to me, and sometimes extra friendly. More open than anywhere I've ever been actually.

Well, they're open and generally friendly to me too, but they never see me as dating material, giving me that typical line both directly and indirectly.

Originally Posted by JL1585

Literally, I felt like a rapper in a rap video with gold chain but I never had to make it rain. I joke (about the making it rain). But I guess it's been your experience and I can respect that.

I'm moving there soon and don't have any guy friends although I do know a few ladies there, haha maybe we should hang out see if we can both find some luck. Eitherway good luck, and just from my experience, I guess I'd tend to respectfully disagree but when I move there if that changes I'll update my post and tell you you were right haha. Good luck!

Ha ha, thanks.

Originally Posted by iskray917

"I could honestly care less who likes me and who doesn't"

sure seems like you care.

By posting about this subject one time?

If I posted this topic more than once or something similar to it, then I'd be in denial.

[seattlenextyear]

Duh, Seattle women rank guys based on their outdoor adventure clothing.

HOT: Patagonia, REI, North Face, Mountain Hardware, Kuhl

NOT: Cabellas, LLBean, Lands End, EMS (obviously transplant: might as well carry an umbrella while you're at it)

Columbia is on the cusp. If you're going to don a Columbia vest, you'd better have something else going for you, like a good personality or nice hair.

[tatania199]

Honestly?

If this post is at all indicative of the first impression you make, I suspect race isn't the issue.

You sound angry, defensive and remarkably negative.

I tend to find that sometimes, when people complain about everyone (or most) people they meet being unfriendly, that often...there's a good reason for that. For example, you seem very concerned that all women are interested in is your education and bankroll - but it also seems like something you feel really defensive about. Maybe you're a little oversensitive about that because you don't feel confident about it? Because, quite frankly, the average strong, confident woman doesn't care. But sometimes, if that's something you feel self conscious about, it can feel like that is all anyone else cares about.

Either that or you are looking in the wrong places because I've just not met this breed of woman.

I just wonder if your level of animosity might discourage the interest of others rather than the majority of woman making a blanket judgement based on race, bankroll or educational background. Because, to be honest, the latter is really unlikely and doesn't reflect much of what I know about 50% of the population, either in Seattle or anywhere.

[tobester]

Originally Posted by blueshogun96

Originally Posted by iskray917
"I could honestly care less who likes me and who doesn't"

sure seems like you care.
By posting about this subject one time?

If I posted this topic more than once or something similar to it, then I'd be in denial.

The responder is pointing to the very common grammatical error of saying "I could care less" rather than "I couldn't care less". The former implies you still have some care remaining.

[Zippy7fo]

Originally Posted by seattlenextyear

duh, seattle women rank guys based on their outdoor adventure clothing.

Hot: Patagonia, rei, north face, mountain hardware, kuhl

not: Cabellas, llbean, lands end, ems (obviously transplant: Might as well carry an umbrella while you're at it)

columbia is on the cusp. If you're going to don a columbia vest, you'd better have something else going for you, like a good personality or nice hair.

lollllllllll

[MysticalDream]

Blue Shogun.. PDX is the abbreviation for the Portland, Oregon metropolitan area. Idaho has a much different culture than Seattle/Portland, although there are a few similarities.

SeattleNextYear, People who judge you by your clothing are moronic, especially coming from the part of the country where people don't even know how to dress. Seriously, I have seen the gaudiest and silliest clothing. Many people here on purpose wear clothes that don't match or out of style. And, except for Patagonia, all those other brands are not exceptional. Cabelas actually produces some much better quality products then North Face or Mountain Hardware.. Half of the people in Portland and Seattle wear Columbia; nobody will think twice about a person wearing Columbia. I have seen a good deal of people getting out of their brand new Mercedes or Lexus wearing a Columbia fleece they could have bought at Fred Meyer. This is absurd! I have eaten at 5-star restaurants in Portland where people are wearing a Columbia flannel shirt, which is so tacky, it hurts. But hey, this is the Pacific Northwest after all?

Definitely what I will say is not to let women get you stirred up. A person who can keep cool, despite all the adversity they face will always been more liked and have a easier time having others accept them. I can understand the anal attitudes people in the Pacific NW can sometimes give, but usually it is because these people have a low self-opinion of themselves and it is a defense technique. If people here see their attitudes have no effect on you, they will lower their defenses. That has been my observation of living in the Pac NW for over 20+ years. Treat people nice, even when they don't treat you nice, even when they talk crap to you. Doing this, you will eventually find decent people who are attracted to you.

This isn't the deep South where people may all act like your friend at first, but later turn on you. In Seattle and Portland, it is the other way around, people will not like you at first, but later open up to you. The people who are your friends, really are your friends. Things are a bit opposite here. You also have to realize there is also a bit of a Scandinavian culture present in the NW, that gives people a bit of a cold, reserved element, which has to be thawed out.

[Bill Loney]

Originally Posted by blueshogun96

You didn't read my entire post, did you? I addressed this above already by stating that it's okay to have preferences.

Then perhaps you should smack your head several times more. It pretty much negates your entire post.

[tickyul]

Originally Posted by kreebby

You do seem sexist in your post. "The games women play", uh, it takes two to tango my friend. I have the same complaint about many guys. Men can play games just as easily as women.

[b]Some people just aren't attracted to certain races. That's nothing personal, either.

Short, sweet and to the point, the answer above.

I am not attracted to asian or black women.....nothing personal.....I don't think they are all ugly......just not attracted.....simple as that.

[MysticalDream]

Beauty is from within.. There is lots of beautiful black women.. I think somebody who bases their preferences of love on ethnic features is shallow and stupid, anyhow. Welcome to 21st century Western society. I'd rather have a loving, kind and compassionate woman who is less physically attractive, who I have things in common with, than some supermodel that all the men drool over who is a witch.

As far as cultural attraction, that I can understand. I am not exactly attracted to African American women, because of the way many of them act. However, I have always found African women (from Africa) very attractive to me, despite looking the same, their way of life and behavior I find appealing, as with many other both White and African-American guys who travel there. I lived in Africa for almost 6 months. On the other hand, I would never turn away a person based on their race, I would see their behavior and learn about them and judge them based on those facts, rather than how a majority of the people from their ethnic group act.

In all honesty, I am not that attracted to American women, even though I find that many of the thinner ones (as so many are overweight) are quite beautiful to the eyes. However, it's the personality that I don't like. I've always found European, Latin, African women more charming based on personalities. As with American women, the same goes for Asian women. I am not very attracted to their personalities, although there is cultural traits about them I find attractive, which I find American women lack.

With all this said, there are wonderful people from everywhere. To turn away a human being who you think you may connect with, based on the fact that "I am not attracted to this or that type of man/woman", is just absurd, superficial and shallow. You reap what you sow. America's 50% divorce rate I think supports the analysis that people here don't always make the most rational decisions on their marriage/love partners.

[alecsandra]

I will not date black man.I am just not attracted to them.And from some reasons...I belive they are all like the guys from 50 cent videos,where they are all showing their self surrounded by naked womans,money...you know showing off.I don't like that!