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Location: In the basket with the other deplorables
130 posts, read 386,950 times
Reputation: 216
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This is actually an interesting topic. I have read the entire thread and I noticed we lost the OP a long while back. I decided to chime in on this one because I am a black woman and I have been dating a white man for 5 years. We are considering a move to the PNW.
At first, the OP sounds angry and bitter (especially when he uses the word "femminazi"). After I took some more time to think about it, however, I realize that he is just frustrated with the situation and may need to relieve some "stress". One thing I did like that the OP said is that he is not just interested in dating only white women. As long as he keeps his heart/interests open, and does not exclude himself to only white women, asian women, etc..., he will eventually meet a quality woman. I suggest to the OP to travel to Oregon or Canada - maybe he can have a long distance romance? I have found, from my many years of dating experience, that black men want it quick and fast. They want to hit it and be moved in by the middle of next week. Try to be a woman's friend first. Those are relationships that build and take time to craft - start with simple conversation, maybe a coffee, spend time talking on the phone (men don't do that anymore). Don't think of it as a date - remove that word from your head!!! I have noticed with human behavior, that many people do not really know what they want until they get it. You need to get to know women with a strategy - not on how to get in their pants, but how to be a friend. If you need to relieve stress, you may have to find a professional for that in the meantime.
I agree with the man from Idaho - you gotta forget that you are black. I KNOW that is difficult when you have people reminding you that you are. Those are people that I ignore and do not want in my life at all. I've had people treat "being black" as if it is a personal birth defect (many times, this came from black men, when I lived in Southern Calif). But the more one gets shot down for the same reason (being black), that tends to be how you see yourself and your anger/self-consciousness shines through (consciously or not).
I forget who said it, but they had a good point that I think may have got missed. Many people think of the stereotype that comes attached with dating a black man, such as babies mamas, no job, criminal record, etc... The only way that you can let someone know that is not you, is to show them, not tell them. The only way you can show them, is to be their friend and get to know them.
Also, if you are serious about finding a quality mate, and not just a sex partner, try going inward and seeing how you can change and improve yourself (not your career, just your outlook). It can't be all the women - some of it has to be what you're doing wrong also. Good luck.
This is interesting. Despite all the talk about interracial couples in Seattle, I always feel like black women in this city aren't interested in white men at all. I don't find it too difficult to strike up a conversation with a white girl but it seems to me like black girls just ignore white men completely. At least that's my experience.
I've had that experience everywhere I've been. I think the black women attracted to white men vs. the black men attracted to white women ratio is skewed insanely toward the latter no matter where you go.
This is actually an interesting topic. I have read the entire thread and I noticed we lost the OP a long while back. I decided to chime in on this one because I am a black woman and I have been dating a white man for 5 years. We are considering a move to the PNW.
At first, the OP sounds angry and bitter (especially when he uses the word "femminazi"). After I took some more time to think about it, however, I realize that he is just frustrated with the situation and may need to relieve some "stress". One thing I did like that the OP said is that he is not just interested in dating only white women. As long as he keeps his heart/interests open, and does not exclude himself to only white women, asian women, etc..., he will eventually meet a quality woman. I suggest to the OP to travel to Oregon or Canada - maybe he can have a long distance romance? I have found, from my many years of dating experience, that black men want it quick and fast. They want to hit it and be moved in by the middle of next week. Try to be a woman's friend first. Those are relationships that build and take time to craft - start with simple conversation, maybe a coffee, spend time talking on the phone (men don't do that anymore). Don't think of it as a date - remove that word from your head!!! I have noticed with human behavior, that many people do not really know what they want until they get it. You need to get to know women with a strategy - not on how to get in their pants, but how to be a friend. If you need to relieve stress, you may have to find a professional for that in the meantime.
I agree with the man from Idaho - you gotta forget that you are black. I KNOW that is difficult when you have people reminding you that you are. Those are people that I ignore and do not want in my life at all. I've had people treat "being black" as if it is a personal birth defect (many times, this came from black men, when I lived in Southern Calif). But the more one gets shot down for the same reason (being black), that tends to be how you see yourself and your anger/self-consciousness shines through (consciously or not).
I forget who said it, but they had a good point that I think may have got missed. Many people think of the stereotype that comes attached with dating a black man, such as babies mamas, no job, criminal record, etc... The only way that you can let someone know that is not you, is to show them, not tell them. The only way you can show them, is to be their friend and get to know them.
Also, if you are serious about finding a quality mate, and not just a sex partner, try going inward and seeing how you can change and improve yourself (not your career, just your outlook). It can't be all the women - some of it has to be what you're doing wrong also. Good luck.
Well said. I talked to my current girlfriend for over a year before we actually met (met her through a friend of a friend). We've been together 6.5 years.
NOTE: If you are one of those overly sensitive people who tend to take things personally and easily get their feelings hurt over someone's opinions or negative experiences posted on an insignificant internet forum, then I suggest you not read this post and maybe grow up a little before reading it. You've been warned.
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueshogun96
This is something I've been pondering for quite a while now as I see more and more women who are more or less blatant when they say they don't like black men. Why is this? I'm an ambitious and well educated single black man who is a game programmer forming his own Ltd. and strives to be a better person everyday. While I don't consider myself "actively looking" mainly because I don't have time for anymore of that dating nonsense and the games that women tend to play, I do periodically browse dating ads and what not to see what's available. I've been to many places (coast to coast), and I've never in my life seen a city with so many women that say that they want nothing to do with a black man in particular!
Quite frankly, I've been to Tennessee (a state that's rumored to be racist) and the women there were nicer to me than anywhere I've ever been, ever. Here, the most common excuse I see is "I don't date black men" both online and in person. This is coming from both black and white women. Why is this? What makes us so undesirable? I don't have the nasty ghetto attitude, smoke weed or do drugs, wear baggy and sagging clothes, or listen to that stupid booty gorilla noise known as rap either, so what's the problem? I understand that people have preferences and it's okay to be honest about them; even I have my own. But I never say "I don't date black women" because "OMG u is sooooo racist!!!!"
Don't get me wrong, I could honestly care less who likes me and who doesn't, especially women because I've had to deal with their biased criticism so long (mainly because I couldn't finish my degree and because my income level is less) it doesn't even effect me (and no, I'm not sexist, anymore). Also, if you plan to respond with "Not all women are like that" and other similar statements, please do me a favour and just save it! I never said the word "all", you did. I did say "in general", meaning that for many it's generally true. I'm not the only one who notices this either.
I love this city, just not it's women, that's for sure. This is a city I can only recommend to black men who have a good head on their shoulders and want to pursue a great IT career, not a place to do that and find a good wife that doesn't love you for your money/status. I don't recommend searching the haystack for a needle either. There are exceptions to every rule, even a broken clock is right twice a day.
Thoughts?
Shogun.
Brother. I know where you are coming from.
I will say this.
Sometimes women of all races try to starve black men out. I have never really bought into this "Black men are cool and get the girls" myth.
One of the biggest travesties to ever happen to Western Society, in my opinion, was to give women absolute power in the mating game. The reason being is because most men can never compete with women in terms of desirability when it comes to the opposite sex; as women are FAR, FAR, more appealing to men, than men are to women.
Even the average woman can pull a man without even trying. It may not be the one that they want, but they can get men rather easily. It’s hard for a regular black man to get a woman who’s decent in this society, that many of them just completely give up trying, and just settle on a single lifestyle altogether. Which, is EXACTLY what this society wants decent black men to do.
Most women, when they have the choice, try to go for the highest status male that they can possibly get; and many of them get dogged out in the process of trying to find him. Because black men occupy the lowest social rung in all society, women try to FORCIBLY consign black men to leftovers,
Women know that men have a hard time finding mates in this society, and play their options to the fullest. The problem is that too many women think this way, to the point where they think that they can SNUB men who are TRULY on their level. Most women have no clue as to what level they are on; because men pursue them regardless for sexual gratification.
My advice to other you is you better make yourself into a island, one that isn’t dependent on anyone else for companionship but YOU. Because, if you allow yourself to become solely dependent upon a woman for love, you will find yourself in a pine box.
Get strong in God brother so that he will help you overcome the feeling of loneliness through prayer and supplication; because women in this society are not right in the damn head, and if you follow them, you won’t be right in the damn head either.
Most women, when they have the choice, try to go for the highest status male that they can possibly get; and many of them get dogged out in the process of trying to find him. Because black men occupy the lowest social rung in all society, women try to FORCIBLY consign black men to leftovers
... women in this society are not right in the damn head, and if you follow them, you won’t be right in the damn head either.
I have met many a girl/woman who have a warped view on relationships because they know that they have almost complete control. These ladies will blow guys off (and not in the good way ) at a whim and let them crawl back. They feel entitled to being treated like a princess, because they have their pick of the litter in terms of guys who will spoil them.
@blueshogan96 Hello brother, first off I want to say that their is some credence to the white & MORE PARTICULAR ASIAN AND INDIAN RACISM TOWARD BLACK MALES. You really should continue building your company and life and concentrate on finding someone who has the same interests and character as you do. Forget about color. The media has and is as we speak working overtime to sully villify and sissify the black male image to counteract the fact that by nature we black men are sexier more charasmatic, masculine and comfortable in our skins than the average white man. (there are exceptions to the rule of course) simply put brother don't acknowledge racism bigotry or petty minded ness in your spirit. Be aware of it but don't let it dismantle your self esteem and confidence if you do then you will carry an unspoken vibe that will make white women leery of dealing with you. It will come off like your racist when in reality it is their cultures racism that has caused your unease to begin with. Talk to who you want to talk to and when you talk to the women smile at them, genuinely enjoy their company be interested in what their world(s) that is the bridge my friend. Also use your natural african confidence we posses it in abundance. Now you won't be able to avoid dissapointment not everyone is free minded but if you develop yourt self acutley in mind ,body and spirit you will be able to notice certain things that will avoid you from wasting your time talking to women who are racist. It's easier if you are already attractive and friendly by nature because when your out clean and well groomed(I hope at leasdt0 smile at the white women you are attracted to. IF THEY GIVE YOU THE FAMOUS FAKE SMILE OR PRETEND THEY DON'T SEE YOU DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. IF HOWEVER, THEY LOOK BACK AT YOU WITH FRIENDLINESS AND INTEREST BEYOND THE TYPICAL RACIST INTEREST SPEAK HAVE FUN AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF. Just use common sense...if shes getting out of a truck with a dixie flag on it bleach blonde hair and looks at you with ice cold blue eyes that cover you with hatred and disdain...don't even acknowledge her. You also have to realize that alot of what white womenare responding to is not reality of anything negative in a black man but falsey portrayed sterotypes,parents bullying them and frightening them with stories of bad black men and the 24 hour a day non stop media war against black men. They don't generally speaking possess the strength of mind to overide all of that crap and even see you for who you are if they cant see the difference between a gaming designer or programmer and pookey from the ghetto liquor store. you'll be fine if you listen to me and just work on building yourself relaxing and being genuinely friendly, interesting and nice to women. The right women will be attracted to that the wrong ones will not so eff em your better than them anyway!!!
Location: In the basket with the other deplorables
130 posts, read 386,950 times
Reputation: 216
Quote:
Originally Posted by anwar872
Be aware of it but don't let it dismantle your self esteem and confidence if you do then you will carry an unspoken vibe that will make white women leery of dealing with you. It will come off like your racist when in reality it is their cultures racism that has caused your unease to begin with.
IF THEY GIVE YOU THE FAMOUS FAKE SMILE OR PRETEND THEY DON'T SEE YOU DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME. IF HOWEVER, THEY LOOK BACK AT YOU WITH FRIENDLINESS AND INTEREST BEYOND THE TYPICAL RACIST INTEREST SPEAK HAVE FUN AND INTRODUCE YOURSELF. Just use common sense...if shes getting out of a truck with a dixie flag on it bleach blonde hair and looks at you with ice cold blue eyes that cover you with hatred and disdain...don't even acknowledge her. You also have to realize that alot of what white womenare responding to is not reality of anything negative in a black man but falsey portrayed sterotypes,parents bullying them and frightening them with stories of bad black men and the 24 hour a day non stop media war against black men. They don't generally speaking possess the strength of mind to overide all of that crap and even see you for who you are if they cant see the difference between a gaming designer or programmer and pookey from the ghetto liquor store. you'll be fine if you listen to me and just work on building yourself relaxing and being genuinely friendly, interesting and nice to women. The right women will be attracted to that the wrong ones will not so eff em your better than them anyway!!!
This is some of the best advice ever! Between your advice and mine, the OP should be all set - he officially has both a male and female's perspective. The first paragraph that I quoted has happened to me on a couple of good occasions. It is easy for blacks to get our feelings hurt/feel discouraged about the little slick stuff that they do...and the next thing you know, "we" are the racists. It's kinda funny when you think about it.
Anyway, I agree that the OP needs to apply discernment when selecting these females to talk to. Everything is based on perception, but it is unfortunate that another human being, irrespective of color, cannot tell the difference between a working professional and "Pookey", as you called it. Anyway, excellent advice - bravo!
@Queenvic you are very wise my friend> I'm aware of these type of things from both a white and black perspective due to me growing up in a white dominated church as a child yet still having black friends. I also had a lot of white friends as a child and teen. My brother is able to attract the most beautiful white women imaginable just off of his sheer confidence charisma and mascvuline beauty. I am able to attract a large percentage of beautiful white women as well just not as many or diverse types of white women as my brother. I analyzed why,i HAVE IN COMMON WITH OUR OP AN AWARENESS OF THEIR WHITENESS BECAUSE OF MY PAST NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES AND THE FACT THAT I AM SO SENSITIVE AS TO THE POINT OF BEING EMPATHIC, WHENEVER I COMPLETLEY IGNORE RACE AND JUST ENTERTAIN THE LADIES MY NUMBERS SHOOT UP TO THAT OF MY BROTHERS.. WHEN I JUST REACT NOT PROACT BASED ON MY PERCEPTIONS OF THEIR CLOSETED RACISM IT PUTS OUT AN AIR OR VIBE THAT CAUSES THEM TO PLAY THEIR SLICK RACIST GAMES. i LEARNED AND I KNOW HOW TO BEAT IT SO ITS ALL GOOD
You can't go by the internet if you did you'd think the entire world operates like a certain 4chan board. Log off and experience real life for a bit and you will find her.
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) at a whim and let them crawl back. They feel entitled to being treated like a princess, because they have their pick of the litter in terms of guys who will spoil them. 
