Official "Seattle Freeze" Discussion Thread (Republic: camper, pubs)

[K8K]

I left Bakersfield to get away from the religious right republican anti social angry tea bagger nut jobs, so I suppose I can learn to live in a city full of people on the autism spectrum. Who knew.

[seattlerain]

Originally Posted by K8K

I left Bakersfield to get away from the religious right republican anti social angry tea bagger nut jobs, so I suppose I can learn to live in a city full of people on the autism spectrum. Who knew.

Autism spectrum...really, autism spectrum?

I get it...I get it, you don't like it here...but to call the citizens of Seattle people with autism is offensive both to people who truly do have autism and to the citizens of this great city.

[evda]

Originally Posted by K8K

. And never have I had men behave so ungentlemanly. I'm not looking to make friends with these people, I don't need validation or expect compliments, but blank stares, slamming doors and averted eyes make me feel like I am a stranger in a very strange land. Who knew being an American in America could be so foreign?

Help me understand the whole looking in eyes and chit-chat thing. I just don't get it. I'm from the midwest and have lived in a few rocky mtn states as well before coming here and I don't get the importance of this. I'm polite in most social situations, but I usually restrict my conversations and eye contact to my co-workers, friends, family and any groups I participate in. That's enough for me and it fills me up just fine.

It's a city, there are a lot of people walking around that you encounter everyday. Am I supposed to look everyone in the eye that I walk past, nod my head, maybe even say hello? That's like hundreds of people a day, whether it be at green lake, downtown, etc. Does this really happen in the southeast? Do people talk to the person in front of them and behind them in the line at the grocery store? Do they compliment them on their clothes? Do they stare down everyone?? It just sounds like a lot of superficial stuff that some of you folks weight so heavily.

[franklin42]

Originally Posted by evda

Help me understand the whole looking in eyes and chit-chat thing. I just don't get it. I'm from the midwest and have lived in a few rocky mtn states as well before coming here and I don't get the importance of this. I'm polite in most social situations, but I usually restrict my conversations and eye contact to my co-workers, friends, family and any groups I participate in. That's enough for me and it fills me up just fine.

It's a city, there are a lot of people walking around that you encounter everyday. Am I supposed to look everyone in the eye that I walk past, nod my head, maybe even say hello? That's like hundreds of people a day, whether it be at green lake, downtown, etc. Does this really happen in the southeast? Do people talk to the person in front of them and behind them in the line at the grocery store? Do they compliment them on their clothes? Do they stare down everyone?? It just sounds like a lot of superficial stuff that some of you folks weight so heavily.

Awesome post

I don't understand why eye contact/constant small talk is so important. I have never spent enough time in the Southeast to notice so maybe it is a big deal down there?

[vaughanwilliams]

Originally Posted by Lamplight

Neither do I, and I'm a bit surprised at how many people in this thread seem to want to do just that. Don't you see enough of these people for the 40+ hours you're around them every week?

Seriously. I have little in common with the half wits I work with-it's all I can do to make 40 hours with them, and the last thing I want to do is talk shop after work.

It seems most of the posters feeling the "freeze" are fairly recent transplants (nothing wrong with that). I've spent most of my life in Florida, which is also loaded with transplants, and my eyes glaze over and my mind starts to wander when ever someone starts a conversation with "Hi, I'm from Ohio, New York, Indiana, Iowa, etc." It's nothing personal-I've just heard it soooo many times and I really have nothing to say in return except maybe "That's nice." Like I said, nothing wrong with being a transplant (in fact, I get along better with them than the natives), but sometimes the sheer amount of new people is overwhelming to long time residents.

[415_s2k]

Originally Posted by evda

Help me understand the whole looking in eyes and chit-chat thing. I just don't get it. I'm from the midwest and have lived in a few rocky mtn states as well before coming here and I don't get the importance of this. I'm polite in most social situations, but I usually restrict my conversations and eye contact to my co-workers, friends, family and any groups I participate in. That's enough for me and it fills me up just fine.

Then Seattle is probably the perfect environment for you.

It's a city, there are a lot of people walking around that you encounter everyday. Am I supposed to look everyone in the eye that I walk past, nod my head, maybe even say hello? That's like hundreds of people a day, whether it be at green lake, downtown, etc.

No, not at all. But there is something pleasant about having someone make eye contact and give you a slight nod, or say something innocuous or simple like "hey." Maybe you find it intrusive and creepy. I've known people that think this. Can't understand it for the life of me.

Admittedly, I found that this happened often enough in Seattle, and I, personally, found the disconnect between a smile and nod on the street (which came often) and actually having a conversation with someone (very rare) to be quite off-putting.

I did notice the door-holding thing, though; I would hold the door, and quite often, people would look at me like I either had a third arm coming out of my ear, or I was of a subnormal intelligence. There was probably a 33% chance of this happening. Then, there was a 33% chance that they would not look at me and scurry through the door quickly, awkwardly, without a word, and the final 33% was saying "thanks" to some degree or another. I do recall one time where a middle-aged African-American woman said, "good to see there are some gentlemen left!" when I did this; made my day

I did find it odd that this was the case, since people were generally so polite about letting you merge in traffic or letting the other car go first...

Seattle is also the only city where it happened frequently enough that people would actually seem to make a motion to close the door behind them, despite the fact you were obviously coming in behind them.

Does this really happen in the southeast?

Yes.

Do people talk to the person in front of them and behind them in the line at the grocery store?

Yes. They do it in California and much of the Northeast, too. Standing in a long line can be boring; it can also be frustrating when there's a woman with 500 cans of cat food in the express line. Sharing this frustration with the person in front of or behind you isn't an intrusive, pushy, or abnormal thing to most people in most places.

Do they compliment them on their clothes?

Yes.

Do they stare down everyone??

There's a huge difference between politely making eye contact and "staring someone down." Staring someone down is what gets you punched. Maybe this is part of the problem... that there seems to be an outsized number of people in the PNW who don't necessarily understand the difference.

It just sounds like a lot of superficial stuff that some of you folks weight so heavily.

I don't understand why it is that people seem to think that it's "superficial" to be social and friendly to people...

[Woof]

I thought there were plenty of very friendly people who would make eye contact with me in Seattle ...... it's just that invariably they would then ask me for money.

Originally Posted by seattlerain

Autism spectrum...really, autism spectrum?

I get it...I get it, you don't like it here...but to call the citizens of Seattle people with autism is offensive both to people who truly do have autism and to the citizens of this great city.

It's not as bad as it sounded. Asperbergers Syndrome is considered to be a marginal part of the autism spectrum ...... computer programmers are often considered to have Aspergers ...... Microsoft is located in the Seattle metro area ..... see? Lots of intelligent people are disinclined to make personal contacts of any kind if they don't have to. I'm like that myself out in the meatworld, but oddly enough that doesn't extend to my internet persona, I'm quite chatty online. Different areas of the brain involved, I suppose.

[seattlenextyear]

Yes, you heard it here folks: computer programmers all have Aspergers.

What other precious nuggets of information do you have in store for me, zombie thread that won't die?

[evergraystate]

Originally Posted by Woof

computer programmers are often considered to have Aspergers

Originally Posted by seattlenextyear

Yes, you heard it here folks: computer programmers all have Aspergers.

What other precious nuggets of information do you have in store for me, zombie thread that won't die?

Your reading comprehension could use some work. This isn't something new and its not confined to the Microsoft or Seattle tech community.
http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9...ergers_pr.html

[Lamplight]

I've lived in middle TN my entire life (so far), so I'll share my experiences here.

Originally Posted by evda

It's a city, there are a lot of people walking around that you encounter everyday. Am I supposed to look everyone in the eye that I walk past, nod my head, maybe even say hello? That's like hundreds of people a day, whether it be at green lake, downtown, etc. Does this really happen in the southeast?

Maybe in smaller towns. My town has about 108,000 people, and it's pretty rare. I used to think it did, or should, until I bicycle commuted on the MUP daily. I naturally would nod, wave, and/or say "hi" to people coming the other way, and they very, VERY rarely returned anything but a look of bewilderment/disgust. This was always fairly early in the morning, and many of the people I would see were the same ones day after day. There would be one or two who reluctantly waved back every day, eventually, but most just appeared confused. When one did respond in a cheerful manner, they almost always had what sounded like a non-southern accent. I'm not saying the ones who didn't respond were all natives, just that I found it interesting that the most friendly at least sounded like transplants.

Walking past hundreds of people in Nashville, whether you're in the touristy areas or the business district, and from what I've seen the people aren't much different from Seattle. Although most people here do hold the door open behind them if they see you following. I did that in Seattle and Bellingham and didn't notice anyone looking at me funny. I didn't notice if anyone else was doing it though. I don't really care, it's just what I'm used to doing and I'll continue doing it no matter where I am.

Originally Posted by evda

Do people talk to the person in front of them and behind them in the line at the grocery store?

Sometimes, but I don't see it very often. Most people just mind their own business.

Originally Posted by evda

Do they compliment them on their clothes?

I have never, ever seen this in public between two people who had never met. I've seen people make compliments to strangers on other things, like a nice car or a cute dog being walked in the park, but never clothing. To me that would be...odd.

Originally Posted by evda

Do they stare down everyone??

Actually, yes! This may just be my town, but I've just noticed in the last couple years that when I'm out in public I'll see quite a few other men staring at me. And it's not a "Hey, I'm lonely, come talk to me" kind of stare. It's more like an angry, threatening stare, and for the life of me I can't figure out where it came from. It's almost like they're trying to be intimidating for some reason. I never see women doing this, just men.