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If you're not bowing down to the moms of the world, it's BS, and you don't understand, of course.
I chose to have a house and a big yard instead of living in an apartment, even though I know that apartment living is easier. I wanted a house and a yard -- even though I know it's more responsibility.
I wonder how annoyed my apartment-dwelling friends would be if I constantly interjected conversations -- online and off -- with complaints about it.
"Oh, you're lucky that you got to relax and watch movies with your kids this weekend. I'm never able to do fun stuff on the weekends because I always have to do yard work."
"You don't know what hard work is until you have a house and a big yard to take care of."
"Did you know that my value as a homeowner is like $100,000 a year? I do XX amount of hours of gardening work, XX amount of hours of interior design, XX amount of hours of construction work, XX amount of hours of janitorial work, etc. etc. etc. No one understands my value! You apartment dwellers just don't understand!!"
"Oh, you live in an apartment? Well, until you live in a house and have your own house and yard to take care of, you just don't understand. I bet you couldn't survive one weekend of pulling weeds, hauling mulch, cutting grass, painting your walls, etc. etc. etc. I'd love to see you laughing then!"
If you have friends who talk like this about their children/motherhood outside of a debate, you need some new friends. How obnoxious!
Haha! This thread is hilarious. Nothing like a bunch of non-parents giving their opinions on what it's like to be a parent . Carry on though, please, I need a good laugh.
As for putting SAHM on a resume, perhaps again the OP could have done a bit of research, even a quick Google. Of course you put it on a resume, not because one considers it a job, but anyone knows you explain job gaps. Duh.
I know Im gonna get **** for this.
But oh how I wish I could have the luxury of a husband going out and punching a time clock, working hard and making good money for me to be able to watch my babies grow up and be apart of their special moments/milestones in the comfort of my own home.
Im not a mom, but I currently work full time and work in a very hard industry, commute 1.5 hours each way, and usually work 50 hours a week. I see girls on my facebook give themselves all of this credit that being a stay at home mom is the "hardest job in the world". Yet they have never earned a degree/worked a real intensive job that requires critical thinking/hard physical labor.
Just wondering if this bothers anyone else. My sisters were stay at home moms for a while but then went back to work. They told me it was the most amazing thing to be at home with the kids though and they loved every minute, saying it wasnt that hard because it was rewarding and they could do it in their pajamas.
My personal favorite is when people put being a stay at home mom as a job on their resume.. Maybe im young and naive but to me that just sounds odd.
Yet another post where a person makes assumptions about an entire group of people based on a small data set.
I do see your point. IMHO for some, it probably is an easy job. It certainly is a choice that many have and will continue to make freely and happily.
Where you go wrong is thinking that many stay at home moms have never earned a degree or worked a real job. Where do you live, the 1930s? Of course many women who get degrees stay home for a while, and many work before and after staying at home.
And many women who stay home do hard physical labor and use critical thinking!
I've known women who sat in their clean houses and watched TV and read magazines, and I've known women who raised cattle as well as children. And women who write books or do amazing work for causes they believe in while they are home. You can't tar them all with the same brush!
Personally I sucked at housekeeping. I'd get bored and start a project like rehabbing furniture or making a quilt and get distracted from the day to day routine. My husband hated me for it. In retrospect, I'm glad I had hobbies to keep my sanity. As for parenting, it was exhausting. My kids didn't sleep much and went full steam ahead until they had meltdowns. They are still very high energy to this very day.
My personal bottom line? Staying at home with my kids was MUCH harder than the job I do now. I love my job, and I love my kids and I would not trade that time with them for anything.
Been there, done that. And not just a week, either. I spent a summer (5 months actually) babysitting full time for a woman who worked - in other words, I was doing the daycare. And the kids were 9 months and 4 years old.
I think it was that in addition to all the other odd babysitting jobs I had done that decided me against having kids. I just realized it wasn't a job I liked or ever wanted to do for keeps. So I didn't. But yeah, it was trying to keep the house clean, changing the diapers, keeping track of the 4 year old, doing the laundry, making the beds, making the kids breakfast and lunch, cleaning up the vomit when it happened, getting them to take their naps, etc, etc.
Still and all, while that was a busy job and the most unpleasant one I've ever done, I don't think it was the hardest one in terms of stress. Granted, the kids weren't mine, but I took it seriously and read to them and and tried to treat them like I thought their mother would have. I just realized when it was over, it wasn't a job I wanted to do again, is all. Just like I wouldn't want to be an airline hostess or a marine biologist. It wasn't a job that appealed to me. But I think working at 7-11 was a lot harder and had a lot more stress to it.
This is a good, balance and fair post. Is being a SAHM tiring? Sure. Is it the hardest job in the world? Um, no -- not even close. 7-11 clerks work harder in fact.
OP, I too get annoyed by SAHM's who whine and moan to anyone and everyone who will listen that they have the hardest job in the world. Um, no, no they do not. Do they have the most important one? Maybe -- a case can be made for that. Nurturing and caring for 0-5-year-olds is definitely up there on the scale of jobs that absolutely must be done to ensure a healthy, functioning society. Don't equate importance with difficulty level though. I'm far more impressed with SAHM's who express gratitude and appreciation for the very privileged position they enjoy -- many women would LOVE to be able to do the same but they can't. They have to work AND nurture their children.
The sad thing is that many of the SAHM, or just working mothers in general, do consider themselves superior, which is probably why there is so much animosity from non SAHM or even non parents whenever this comes up.
We may not be in the front trenches raising kids, but we are working with those who raise them while working full or part-time, and/or they are our best friends, sisters, cousins, etc, and we are the brunt of their ignorant comments and actions.
Here is the truth:
We joke about "soap operas and bon bons?"
-- This is a gut reaction to SAHMs telling us "my life has meaning now" implying that ours do not. (Nearly EVERY new mom has said this to me!)
We get irritated because you leave work early or call in "sick" on late notice?
-- This is because you don't acknowledge the toll it takes on others and will usually come to work the next day seeking empathy when really you should be apologizing for those who stayed to pick up your mess.
We get upset because your kid is kicking us on a plane and you continue to let them do it and tell them to ignore me for saying it? (true story from my latest flight)
-- We are in disbelieve that you would think "my kid is better than anyone else on the planet, can do no wrong, and has the right to be annoying because he's 'a kid'."
We are upset that parents do not recognize that they do indeed have "parental privilege" in our society. People are more likely to give up their seat on public transportation for both of you, you are more likely to get away with being late for work or taking more days off, you are less likely to be confronted when your kid is causing a scene at a restaurant, they do not have to be bombarded with questions like, "when are you going to have kids?" "Why aren't you married?" etc (all questions that can be seen upthread btw.)
I am not going to say that being a SAHM is not a "job" if you see it as one. But there are A LOT of care taking jobs that i would hope that you would agree were more difficult- e.g, taking care of a room full of demented elderly and changing their diapers while making ten bucks an hour, police in a high crime area, nurses in an inner city ER, teacher of kids and adults who assault you daily.
.
Ha! This reminds of a song by Garfunkel and Oates called Pregnant Women are Smug. It's totally off-topic but so are ninety-five percent of the posts in this thread.
It's a full time job and more. I only cringe when I see it in the title of someone's linkedin profile. It just seems so sad and defensive and desperate when someone does that.
Wow, someone actually put that in a LinkedIn profile? If someone is a stay-at-home-parent, why even have a profile on that site? I've seen newspaper or magazine articles, for example, that lists a woman's occupation as "stay-at-home-mom" when discussing her biography. I think it's fair to list that because it's an accurate description, in lieu of having a current career, and it's not listing it for the purposes of seeking a job outside of the home.
I have to agree with the OP and I am probably in similar situation as OP that shaped my mind (don't have kids yet). To me, people have been raising kids since start of time. It is not rocket science. Yes it is demanding but it is no more demanding than it was for our parents or their parents or 1000 years ago (if anything it is less demanding now a days).
I don't see why raising kid is compared to job. How are they even similar? Do people compare their married life to their job? Do people compare anything in personal life to job? Why are these two compared? Yes I understand you quit your job because of the kid but that was a personal/lifestyle choose you made. If I quit my job to travel the world or host fancy parties all day long or go to grad school would I be constantly comparing my life to someone working? No it is a personal choose that was made & I wouldn't be able to attend grad school or host kitty party or travel world if I had the job. A choose had to be made. No point trying to show off how this life is harder than work
I don't see why raising kid is compared to job. How are they even similar? [...] No it is a personal choose that was made & I wouldn't be able to attend grad school or host kitty party or travel world if I had the job.
I think you just answered yourself. People can't do these other things while watching their little kids either.
Yes. Mothers in general do expect parental privilege. Before I started working for myself, I worked in a number of jobs in which employees that were mothers expected everyone to bend over backward for them. Calling in at the last minute because their child is sick, showing up late because of this/that/the other related to the kid, needing time off for the kid, having to bring the kid to work because of a lack of childcare...and so on and so forth. Yes, it was special treatment, and everyone's a jerk for not wanting to put up with it.
Then, after all of that, and needing special scheduling accommodations -- once again, because of the kid(s) -- they'd want to kiss up and get extra hours around Christmas/kid's birthday/whatever. Somehow, they deserved the extra hours because of their kids, even over the people who covered for them constantly and worked the worst and most hours, etc. the rest of the time.
I told my husband that if I ever started a business that required employees, I would never want to hire mothers. I'm not sure that's legal, but it's the truth.
Then, we get into the business of stay-at-home moms. Some claim that they've never heard complaints from SAHMs, but I think that's probably not the truth. It's all over Facebook and the Internet, all day, every day. It's constant in "real life." No matter what your job is or what you're going through life, it's never. as. bad. as being a stay-at-home mom. Stay-at-home moms are underappreciated, they're underpaid, blah blah blah blah blah.
Then, when you have something GOOD going on in life, that's never as GOOD as being a mom.
"Oh, you love your dog? Well, that's cute. I used to love my dog too, until I had my daughter. Then, I realized that being a mom is just a totally different thing. Once you have a kid of your own, you'll understand that having a dog just isn't that important. You'll never understand the love and joy of being a mom until you are one."
And blah blah blah blah.
Since moms always want to interject their opinions into everything, maybe it's not that unfair for others to do the same.
I whole heartedly agree with your entire post. And your comment about them acting indifferent when your pet is sick really hit home. My former bff for over 20 years GAVE HER CAT AWAY the week she brought her baby home!?
And I feel the same way about hiring them. I will be looking for an office assistant soon with hours of approximately 2p- 6p. Those are prime "Mommy hours to be mommying."
I'm already imagining entitled mothers (often coddled by their husbands if they are SAHMS), emailing to ask if the hours can be changed to suite THEIR needs - like 9a-1p.
NOPE!! I'd rather hire a student, retiree, or a disabled person who has doctor schedules in advance.
Sure, anyone can get sick at anytime, but the odds triple by having just one kid plus a husband.
And also, it often crosses my mind that women with kids make up so called "sick kids" because they know they won't be called out on it!!
Again, "parental privelage."
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. Carry on though, please, I need a good laugh.
This is a good, balance and fair post. Is being a SAHM tiring? Sure. Is it the hardest job in the world? Um, no -- not even close. 7-11 clerks work harder in fact.
