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First sentence obviously true, always has been true and is nothing new so presumably you WILL be looking for a new position? Last sentence total nonsense.
Well I dunno if I will be looking. I started looking, saw an agency ad (my recent CSR in the banking industry post) but am on the fence about applying because of the fact I'm apartment hunting now and have almost a job for the summer. Why take the risk of changing jobs now? I need a stable paycheck...not risk...
then again, I know my current bosses just want me to fill in a gap and that I'll most likely be replaced by September.
For the last comment, we'll have to agree to disagree. It's well known that married men, especially those who wear rings are seen as more desirable and stable than single men who are actually available. Same deal as currently working. When you're in a stable relationship, work or romantic, you're seen as more successful and less risky than someone who doesn't have that status. Take my colleague for example. She got promoted to supervisory position, is very attractive (European), and is married. She's one of the most desired women in our office. Looks, personality, smarts AND she's unavailable.
In fact I think I'll ask her out to lunch sometime. Talk about corporate strategy and her vision... while enjoying the view.
It's well known that married men, especially those who wear rings are seen as more desirable and stable than single men who are actually available.
I agree with your statement, but they are only more attractive to certain women. Some of us still hold to the belief that if they'll cheat with you then they'll cheat on you, and prefer their prospective mates to be single.
In the same way, employers that ONLY are interested in those already working may not be the best employer to be with.
Hyperacusis (also spelled hyperacousis) is a health condition characterized by an over-sensitivity to certain frequency ranges of sound (a collapsed tolerance to normal environmental sound). A person with severe hyperacusis has difficulty tolerating everyday sounds, some of which may seem unpleasantly loud to that person but not to others.
Anxiety, stress, and/or phonophobia may be present in both types of hyperacusis. Someone with either form of hyperacusis may develop avoidant behavior in order to try to avoid a stressful sound situation or to avoid embarrassing themselves in a social situation that might involve noise. A person suffering from hyperacusis might be startled by very low sound levels.
Tinnitus (pronounced /tɪˈnaɪtəs/ or /ˈtɪnɪtəs/,[1] from the Latin word tinnītus meaning "ringing"[2]) is the perception of sound within the human ear in the absence of corresponding external sound. innitus can be perceived in one or both ears or in the head. It is usually described as a ringing noise, but in some patients it takes the form of a high pitched whining, buzzing, hissing, screaming, humming, tinging or whistling sound, or as ticking, clicking, roaring, "crickets" or "tree frogs" or "locusts," tunes, songs, beeping, or even a pure steady tone like heard in a hearing test.[
Hearing loss is an inexpensive test. Is this your analysis or your doctors??
I couldn't stand being near the lunchroom/copier either, and the lack of consideration in cell phone use is an epidemic everywhere. The mandate of management is to put a lid on loud ringtones inside the office, not you.
Nevertheless, I agree with most of the commentators that you may need to be under the watchful eye for a reason not entirely clear.
Approach her. Ask if you can talk to her for a minute.
"I am sorry if we got off on the wrong foot before. That was not my intention. I suffer from "XXXXX", which is an inner ear blah blah blah. Sounds that normally dont affect anyone really affect my inner ear. Thats why I asked before about your bracelet. I was wondering, when I am here, if you could remove it, as when it bangs against your desk, XXXXXX.... Or, if maybe you could help me get my seat moved, that also may help me out, as this area is loud anyways....XXX"
Try it that way and see if that helps. This way, you aren't being the "bracelet is loud" guy. You are telling her what the problem is, and giving her a couple solutions to it.
I finally did something! I talked to the bracelet wearing manager. The approach I took was very similar to the script provided by onRedline08. Thanks for the inspiration by the way.
However the conversation wasn't easy, because let's just say the woman was very stubborn and lacked any sort of empathy you might expect from a "normal" person who actually cares for others' well being. First of all, I must tell you that she's French. In my experience, French people can be pretty hard headed. Still, I approached her very calmly, at the end of the day when no one was around. I asked if she had a minute and if we could talk...
She said sure, I'll be with you in 5 minutes...
First off, we're already on good terms, tell each other hi / bye, she does not avoid me like the plague like some woman in another department...so that's the good thing. We have a good foundation. Unlike the conversation with the senior manager yesterday, this time I was even more calm. I knew that escalating this into an argument was not going to get me anywhere. When I started talking, the first thing I asked her was: Hi Sophie, do you know why I was moved to the cubicle in the other department for 6 months?
she replied: No.....
me: Well, it's because I have a sensitive hearing condition, my ears are very powerful, like a cat's ...well not quite, but you get the idea.
her reaction: ok.....
me: The hearing condition is called hyperacusis, have you ever heard of it?
her: no...
me: OK, well like I said, it's really sensitive and I have to use earplugs...here they are...they're called musician's earplugs (I showed them to her).
...
Then she was like, ok...so what does this have to do with me? So I explained , well you know since I'm back sitting near your desk, I noticed a certain noise and it's hurting my ears, I'm wondering if you could help me resolve it?
Even though it was a reasonable statement stating the facts, that sent her into defensive mode. She started by denying that her bracelet (remember it's a heavy chain, essentially and drags across the desk with each movement of the mouse...) could ever make such an impact on my hearing.
Wow! To hear that from her...I knew I was going to have to choose my words carefully.
I then explained , you're right, I'm next to a door that opens and closes, and it's noisy in general, but the scraping bracelet feels like nails scratching my ears...do you think we could do something about it?
To this, she replied, well let me tell you one thing. I am never taking off my bracelet, no matter who asks me, you, HR or the General Manager. I wear it everywhere, to the sea, to bed, and never take it off. It has a certain meaning to me (sentimental value)...so I said, I understand..I guess it's like a wedding ring. Some people keep their rings on no matter what.
But when I heard her outright refuse to accommodate me in that manner, I was thinking....oh boy...this is not looking good...
So I replied, "well I guess that means you want me to feel pain all day"
That finally got her to flex a bit. She then said, well maybe I can tuck it under my shirt and try to pay attention to it. So I thanked her.
But we also talked about other solutions, like wearing noise cancelling headphones..she said other colleagues use that solution...and I should keep in mind that even if the bracelet issue is fixed, tomorrow someone else will make some other noise. She also suggested I go talk to HR / the senior manager (the same one who grilled me on my schedule in the other thread) for reimbursement on the headphones. Nahh...I don't think I need anymore attention and certain not the reporting of a second medical condition....so I'll pass on that.
To end the conversation on a better note, I complimented her on her recent promotion, asked when she was getting a new name tag to highlight her new title (we have name tags on each cubicle) ... and even told her, hey, with this new management position, how about getting a corner office? You deserve it! LOL, she loved that and really ate it up.... ha ha, I figure if I make her feel good about herself, she might even make some accommodations for me. Time will tell. I'm glad I got it off my chest. Now in the meantime, the hyperacusis network site that was offering a pink noise CD never emailed me about my questions and order...so I'll have to follow up by phone or get one elsewhere.
The questions alone would make someone defensive, as she showed.
You have to be direct... and say this is the problem, and I have identified these solutions...
Kind of like in a relationship. What you did is akin to someone asking their SO.. "Who left the toilet seat up?" You know damn well who left it up, so just say, "Hey, VAW, I noticed you left the toilet seat up. Can you please do me a favor and make sure to put it down next time."
I don't think how I presented the issue was as significant to the outcome of the situation as who I was asking for an accommodation. I fail to understand why she insists on continuing to hurt another coworker (I never really crossed her, so she has no reason to hold anything against me) , just because the bracelet means a lot to her. Her sentimental attachment to the material possession and fact that she has to remain in control (as she said no one will make her remove it, not even general manager) seemed more important than another person's well being. And this just proves to me that she has little, if any decency.
And this just proves to me that she has little, if any decency.
VAW, I think you're misreading the situation if you believe that. You're asking her to remove a piece of jewelry she never removes - how is that fair of you? Think about it.
She not consciously choosing to "hurt" a co-worker - she's simply living her life, and wearing what she wants - can you see her point of view at all?
I do understand - it hurts your ears - but you do have other options - like those earphones you talked about getting. Why not just buy them and solve all the noise problems - the door, the bracelet, the copy machine, the co-workers, all of it - all at once - easily. Just buy the earphones...
Just for the record, most people are a lot happier when they stop seeing themselves as victims, and start seeing themselves as someone who who can manage the little issues that come up in life, easily and graciously.
this just proves to me that she has little, if any decency.
I don't think that's really a fair summing up - she DID offer to tuck it into her shirt and be 'aware' of it.
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you''re way overdue for a hearing loss test
