Boston is without a doubt the worst place I have ever lived. (Cambridge: rentals, condo)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by tamajane

Then they want to be best buddies, but it doesn't seem authentic.

Having lived in a bunch of places, I agree with all you said here.

It doesn't seem authentic, because it generally isn't. Lots of people think "fake nice" is better than silence or being left alone... I couldn't agree less. I HATE fake nice, that is NOT the same as polite.

The only region I found (out of the places I've lived) that were truly genuinely nice was the upper midwest. They didn't care about your background, your job, your education, what your parents did... just if you were a good person and they let you volunteer stuff in time, not ask intrusive personal questions.

[Nimashan]

Yeah I don't have SAD or any other disorder it rains for 6 mo in Portand Or if your going to be "SAD" it going to happen there, nor are my friend fake, I have some of the most amazing friends I have ever met and I'm not young. I have actually met friend here whom will be friends for a lifetime. I've also spend a lot of time alone, I don't need "fake" friends just to have friends. This all has nothing to do with that, it a cultural things no more no less. I have lived many places, Germany, Ireland, Scotland and all over this country, NH, NY virginia and Missouri...meeting people for me is not an issue at all never has been and never will. I actually have made many friends here for the short time I have been here. I volunteer in my community and get involved, to the surprise to many locals how quickly I have got involved. That doesn't change that fact that it's just not for me. For many, many reasons!

[Nimashan]

And who does "fake nice" no one I know!

[495neighbor]

The most intrusive person I have ever met the entire time living here has been a co-worker who was very in your face intrusive. This person, a lifelong native of Boston nonetheless, spent the first four hours at work socializing, going from cubicle to cubicle relating every detail of her very specific hobbies to each and every person. Brought the biggest presents for co-worker's birthdays or baby showers and then would talk about the person in not nice terms in front of me. Related overly personal details of her life shamelessly regardless of who was in the room, not to mention a work setting. The icing on the cake was when she continued trying to match me with another person at work I was entirely uninterested in.

Another one up on the list was a client I met through someone at one of my social activities, lifelong Rhode Island native, who decided we would be best buddies and would move into my house because she wanted to get away from her husband, after we met twice. Another one who wanted me to know the most personal details of her life. She was very involved with the personal details of the mutual friends life and made sure to tell me his most intimate details, without provocation, including all his women woes.

I have lived and traveled in many places and have never met bigger nosy-bodies than the two of these.

[tamajane]

Originally Posted by 495neighbor

I have lived and traveled in many places and have never met bigger nosy-bodies than the two of these.

Eh, it takes all kinds. Those two people sound like typical idiots. When it comes to regional stereotypes, Bostonians and new Englanders have a rep of keeping to themselves more, and they often do. Other places can be more open and sometimes there's a culture clash. You just find what suits you.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Nimashan

And who does "fake nice" no one I know!

You haven't spent time in the Bay Area then, or California in general. Fake nice abounds. I loved the weather in SF, and the scenery, but the people were the WORST.

[Nimashan]

No I have not spent a lot of time in SF but so I can't sleek to that but I have loved and love the PNW, and that's where I'm heading come check out Portland Or, you'll love it! Oh and the beer....

[strandedx02]

Originally Posted by tamajane

I have lived all over New England and some problems we had at work and personally with some transplants were boundary issues, passive aggressiveness and just intrusiveness. One person we flew in for an interview from the Midwest asked outright where all the white people live. Sometimes people are overly chatty, ask too many personal questions too soon and tell us what is wrong with us (New Englanders). Then they want to be best buddies, but it doesn't seem authentic.

Because so many people don't mesh with our stereotypical characteristics, why should we make efforts only to get bashed by someone from somewhere they think is better.

I suspect the people who can't make friends with natives would not like them as friends anyway.

Even though I ranted about Boston in general on the last page, I totally agree with not being too personal/intrusive, especially during work. I've also read some posts on here complaining about people zoning out or not wanting to talk on the T, and I'm definitely as guilty as the most born-and-bred Bostonian on that front.

I'd contrast that sort of thing to meeting someone and having a conversation in a social situation, exchanging contact info, and then having the other person be super flaky or act like you're imposing by wanting to hang out. That happened a bunch of times to me in the first couple years I lived here, and it's pretty frustrating when you're new in town and don't really know anyone. Obviously that means that they wouldn't have made very good friends anyway, but it's not really something that will encourage newcomers to want to stay. C'est la vie.

[Nimashan]

How does one become a senior member of this city data blog?

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Nimashan

No I have not spent a lot of time in SF but so I can't sleek to that but I have loved and love the PNW, and that's where I'm heading come check out Portland Or, you'll love it! Oh and the beer....

I've been to Portland many times. Good record and bookstores; great music scene. OK people; except the trying to outcool thing some take a bit far. I'm was a punk/hardcore kid, and still am into the scene, but I don't do dirty. One of my best friends lives there; but many I know really got into heroin there. I guess that is everywhere now though. Not into their beer scene there, they're REALLY into over-hopping everything. I'll take Wisconsin microbrews: more balance. The strip clubs really turned me off to it. They're everywhere. Not sure why that bugs me, but it does.