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I grew up in the PC days of how to deal with bullies, and let me tell you as a child growing up... none of that crap worked.
If I so muched as raised a fist to a bully, usually both of us risked suspension or fell for the old "I saw you do it first, so you're expelled!" I got mistaken for the bully on many occasions and since I didn't want to face expelled I basically had to sneak my way around school on a couple of occasions. Wish I did had the incentive to fight back despite the consequences but I grew up with a single mom and my dad was virtually no help in that regard when he was alive.
If I ever have kids, I'm going to encourage my child to fight back... not with weapons, but brute force and let them understand consequences<feeling better about yourself for standing up to someone.
Nowadays for adults, we stand up for ourselves via fighting we get tossed in jail. Don't want kids to have that fate.
I also agree that bullying should not be condoned, but saying bullying is overplayed may be pushing it as well. I've not only witnessed individuals being bullied, but have also been bullied myself. The more sensitive, or self-conscious an individual is, the more vulnerable they are to being affected by bullying. Those who have commited suicide due to bullying were relatively to extremely emotionally sensitive, but also dealt with many insecurities. Actually, many who partake in bullying also have emotional issues that they have yet to deal with in a healthy way.
I agree that with others on here that to combat bullying, you have to not deal with bullying directly but prevent bullying from even happening by having the students work on themselves and their confidence. Group counseling usually helps. When the Columbine High School shootings happened, I was still in public school and this is when the act of bullying gained national attention. I remember the counselor talking about bullying and asked me how I felt about bullying in front of the class. (She was fully aware that I was bullied.) Before I had a chance to talk, others in the class decided to answer for me. "OH, she doesn't care that we bully her! She knows that we are joking!" "Yeah, it doesn't hurt her feelings, she laughs right along with us."
"Really?" The counselor responded. "Beilua, how do you feel about this?"
I had a chance to actually express the fact of how I hated to be made fun of. With time, the weekly sessions that the counselor did with the group of girls began to lessen the bullying down to me, as well as others in the classroom. The counselor didn't confront bullying directly, but helped build confidence in all of us as well as ways of dealing with stress and other issues that may be troubling us.
Unfortunately, this was in Elementary school and when I was in Middle School, the bullying took place again. The ones who had confidence ignored the bullying and with time it declined, although the ones who still had emotional issues they had yet to confront completely fell into the trap as victims. I unfortunately was a victim yet again because I was still made vulnerable to bullying.
The young girl, Rachel, I think she was the one that was originally from Ireland who commited suicide, was very insecure. She moved to a completely different continent, and slept with at least one other high school student who was 18, she may have been 14 at the time. She obviously had insecurities that she had yet to confront. This as well as girls who partook in bullying her caused her death as those other girls also had insecurities. With group counseling, this all could have been prevented.
Back in the mid-late 70's when I was in H.S. I had the absolute worst bully problem. SHE was short and skinny. FOUL MOUTHED! E-gads!!! I shared homeroom with her, and my locker was right next to her locker.
Even the guys avoided her! I would tell my Mother about stuff, but she had her own mental/emotional issues, so she wasn't of any help.
Fast Forward... 20 yrs later I find out she (the bully) is in prison for MURDER!
Needless to say, I have my own personal opinion of bullies.
My daughter was physically attacked by bullies (not on school campus), and the parents nor the cops would do ANYthing. So I enrolled her and her older brothers in a so-go-doshindo ("water karate") class, and I even took it with them too. It not only helped with her self-confidence and gangly puberty, the next time she was attacked by three boys on the playground, she beat the crap out of them. The PARENTS brought their sons in together, demanding that my daughter be expelled. The principal looked at their battered faces and their angry parents and started laughing. "Are you kidding me? Your boys have been suspended several times for bullying, you wouldn't do anything, it took a GIRL to beat them and stop them, and NOW you want to complain that a GIRL beat them up? Either teach your kids how to behave, or get out of the school - all of you need to GROW UP!" My daughter went from a meek-and-mild, shy, quiet thing to a defender of the abused - she tolerated NO bullying of others from anyone - and was the valedictorian of her HS class.
Honestly, I've seen bullies where I work now at a HS, and the adult liberal reaction is to 'have classes' on bullying, to try to explain things to or 'hug' the bullies, "help them understand their vctims" - or to flee and look the other way. When the PARENTS of bullied kids step up and call the cops (making a public record), call the school and tell them that their kids are going to fight back, only THEN do these liberal folks panic and suspend the bullies. Of course bullies have problems! Life sux. Responsibility is dealing with your own problems, and facing the consequences of your actions (or your kids' actions!) - or having consequences, every single time.
Overdone? Absolutely. Misdirected? Positively. States are requiring that educators and administrators take seminars - at taxpayer expense - and have 'bully counseling' where the children are taught that 'it isn't ok to bully; bullies usually have problems' - rather than following common sense rules like - bullying is assault and should be treated as such, and self-defense is NOT punishable OR prosecutable. It isn't the school's responsibility to raise the little brats or try to love them back into the community - it is their responsibility to enforce consequences on both the bullies and their lackadaisical parents, and to protect the other students and teach them that bullying (like every other action) has real and defined consequences, pure and simple.
The very idea of an "anti-bullying movement" is pretty much a guarantee that the problem isn't going to be solved. If you really want to stop that behavior, you punish the bully. And not with six months of probation, either.
yeah, pop culture has exploited free speech, which is probably why some people feel that "political correctness" is needed. I disagree. I think the spread of PC has caused people to be too sensitive to the smallest insult. I think people need to grow thicker skin and not get butthurt over the smallest comment. So I think that people should stand up and defend themselves (even physically), even if it's "politically incorrect."
I think the foul language that flows from pop culture--elevating the lowest levels of society to something 'special' has contributed to acceptance of treating others without respect.
Let's see how much further it has to go.
If you try to defend yourself physically you can/will be arrested.
. I say that some kids news to do what my dad did, stand up to them (yes even *gasp* physically fighting back) so they won't bother them anymore. That's how it was for my dad. He was bullied and even if he was a short guy, he ended up beating the crap out of the bullies and they never bothered him again.
That doesn't work anymore. Now the parents of a bully will cry victim if they get beat up, even if their kid was asking for it. I've seen it happen to a friend of mine in high school. She was being bullied by another girl, so she finally beat the hell out of her.
Of course the bully ran home to mommy and daddy. The parents pressed charges against my friend and she had to pay a $100 fine, write an apology letter to the bully, and was put under house arrest for two months.
The bully even when as far as saying that my friend's boyfriend raped her.
Of course the bully ran home to mommy and daddy. The parents pressed charges against my friend and she had to pay a $100 fine, write an apology letter to the bully, and was put under house arrest for two months.
The bully even when as far as saying that my friend's boyfriend raped her.
BS BS BS !!!!!!! This makes me SO pissed. Those cops and judges who allowed this travesty need to both be beaten to death by bullies.
But then..They were most likely bullies in school. Most cops & Judges are. Only those who want power and dominion over those they percieve as weaker strive for those occupations, I'm convinced.
Back on topic: Quite frankly, I'm surprised anybody dares to bully anyone after Columbine. But then, people are stupid. You could resurrect the guillotine for bullies and there'd probably still be morons bullying.
I was bullied by the popular girls back in Jr-high and high school. BUT... this was back in the days when you were actually allowed to defend yourself. And the interesting thing that happened was that once I turned around and fought back, I was left alone by the person in question. One of them even became a gaurdian angel of sorts. Everytime someone would start with me, she would appear out of nowhere and the bullies would disperse.
Contrast that with today. My son was bullied by a group of 3 in middle school, nothing was EVER done against these little pricks. One day my son had enough and fought back and guess who got suspended ?
I raised Hell at this school. The assistant principal was a total borg without an original thought in her head and all she could do is spout nonsense about how you're supposed to call for help rather then fighting back. I was like "call for help when it's THREE ON ONE ? you MUST be joking".
She wasn't, sadly. But then neither was I. My son was out of that school THAT day and homeschooled the rest.
No way I'm letting a bunch of zero tolerance crap cause my child pain. I've been there so I know what it's like.
Bullying is remembered for a LONG time. Heck, I graduated in 82 and I STILL wish the ******* that bullied me a horrible painful death.
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