Mother in Duxbury murders her two kids (Fall River: attorneys, mayor)

[chicagoliz]

Originally Posted by charolastra00

Most GoFundMes never hit their request, so there's that. And then you get things like this where people keep adding money long after the goal is reached.

Money won't fix things like losing your child(ren) or spouse or even your home, but it certainly helps. Worrying about money during a trauma is an added cruelty. Depending on what's going on, you might have to pay for funerals, legal representation, time off of work, mental health intervention for yourself and your family, etc. And there's all the things you don't think about either - does the trauma cause enough executive dysfunction that you would benefit by hiring someone to clean, cook or manage your money? Did you stop eating/overeat with stress and need to buy new clothes? How long will you need to be out of work? Did the trauma happen at home and you will perhaps need to spend time away from home or move?

There wasn't GoFundMe when I was going through cancer treatment, but it would have been lifechanging if there had been. Most people didn't realize just how expensive cancer would be because I kept my employment and had "good" insurance. It was all the other stuff that really added up! Spending a decade digging out of debt due to cancer, setting back all of my life goals (kids, home ownership, travel) was just the icing on the cake to make this time more mentally taxing. And things that would have been helpful (taking time off of work, better diet, more holistic healing into recovery, mental healthcare, stress-reduction techniques, flying family or friends in to help at difficult times) weren't possible due to cost. Working full time through chemo against doctor's orders, for instance, set me back years on recovery.

I suspect that with most other tragedies, there are similar hidden costs as well as methods of recovering that require significant cash. Most bereavement time is incredibly limited.

The point is that not everyone is affected in this way. I know a family where the wife died. Both husband and wife had high paying jobs. Wife who died had a very large life insurance policy. When she died, husband got a very large payout. His job offered him significant time off with pay, and then this insurance actually made them better off financially than they had been. I'm sure they would have eagerly traded that money if they could have the wife/mom back. So the family suffered a terrible tragedy, but they did not need money. And any extra money would not have helped them at all.

On the contrary, as you point out, it is true that there are a LOT of people who could benefit from gofundmes. But that's kind of my point, too -- plenty of people experience some kind of difficulty and could use an infusion of cash. But a lot of those people don't set them up for numerous reasons. And they would be in greater need of money than some other people.

Really, everyone should be entitled to what the first family I mentioned had -- a job situation that enabled time off without a financial sacrifice. And yes, more bereavement leave and LOTS more community services should be ofered. I just see so many go fund me's where people rush to give money and there isn't necessarily a big need for the money. I know, for example, of a couple of go fund me's for families who suffered a house fire. These were established families who had a very large, very expensive house. No one was hurt in the house fire, and of course that is a traumatic and sad event. But these people had insurance. They weren't really going to need money to get through this. Yet there are instances of families barely getting by who might suffer a fire in an apartment where they rent and they have no insurance and they're just SOL. They certainly could have used a gofundme, but there often isn't one.

Perhaps there should be *more* gofundmes, with people using more discretion about who they fund.

[msRB311]

In addition to the gofundme page for the family that had the child that died there is also a mealtrain set up for them and it's booked through May. Someone is bringing them food every other day.

I'll come out and say it - gofundme's can be unfair. I think they can be based on popularity of the family/person and the community where the people live has a lot do with it as well.

As another example I know someone who died of breast cancer at 35. She was very beautiful, had a lot of friends and a foundation has been set up for her that is very active. That's nice but there have been many other women who have died of breast of cancer (I know some) and nothing was done for them.

[Beachcomber4]

Originally Posted by chicagoliz

I have mixed feelings about this gofundme. No question this man has suffered an unimaginable tragedy. But is money really what he needs? Yes, the money is also going to help her, as it helps him, but I'm not even sure the legal fees will necessarily be that high. They most certainly could be. But it's also possible they might not be. Sure, money can make things easier in many ways for him, but there are lots of people for whom money would make things easier. I'm not sure he is the person most in need of funds at this moment. If people want to donate money, there are A LOT of people in great need of it, I would say more so than this guy. He has my sympathies, sure. I can't even imagine. But money isn't the cure.

It's not a cure for him but it is for people who just feel like they need to do something. Throwing money at it and posting platitudes on social media is all they can do.

The cost for a legal team to defend a triple murderer in court will be very expensive. And if she is not incarcerated, her long term medical care will cost into the millions if rumors of her condition are true. It would seem most of the money ultimately will go to her needs.

[brightdoglover]

I agree that often "throwing money" and social media blips are all people can do to feel they've done something.

Recently in my community, a well known and loved man died of a brain tumor and morbid obesity. People immediately set up a Meal Train thing- as if the wife didn't have anything in the house to eat! I can see maybe lasagnas/casseroles for a main meal, but boxes of cereal? Snacks? I recognize the urge to do "something" but still...

[chicagoliz]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

It's not a cure for him but it is for people who just feel like they need to do something. Throwing money at it and posting platitudes on social media is all they can do.

The cost for a legal team to defend a triple murderer in court will be very expensive. And if she is not incarcerated, her long term medical care will cost into the millions if rumors of her condition are true. It would seem most of the money ultimately will go to her needs.

She might plead quickly. And if she is incarcerated, the state will be providing that care. While there is certainly potential for the family to need a lot of money, we don't know that yet.

[brightdoglover]

^^^
The woman was on leave from Mass. General. Very good benefits there.

[Beachcomber4]

Originally Posted by chicagoliz

She might plead quickly. And if she is incarcerated, the state will be providing that care. While there is certainly potential for the family to need a lot of money, we don't know that yet.

She's being arraigned Tuesday and her lawyer says she was overmedicated. Her lawyer is Kevin Reddington. This will be a lengthy legal process.

https://www.wcvb.com/article/lindsay...setts/42758331

[msRB311]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

She's being arraigned Tuesday and her lawyer says she was overmedicated. Her lawyer is Kevin Reddington. This will be a lengthy legal process.

https://www.wcvb.com/article/lindsay...setts/42758331

People are over medicated frequently...they don't go around killing their kids.

[chicagoliz]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

She's being arraigned Tuesday and her lawyer says she was overmedicated. Her lawyer is Kevin Reddington. This will be a lengthy legal process.

https://www.wcvb.com/article/lindsay...setts/42758331

I don't know much about that particular lawyer. Is he especially well-known for dragging things out as long as possible?

There are plenty of times a good attorney will recognize a bad situation and will recommend a plea. Not everyone takes a scorched earth policy. While this could potentially be a long and expensive legal process, it is still early to know.

[msRB311]

That lawyer has represented former Fall River mayor Jasiel Correia, Mo Vaughn, and Catherine Greig, girlfriend of Whitey Bulger