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I have not experienced anything personally, but think that it is a combination of where you go to live and in what circles you mingle. Ya'no for example, if you get into a church crowd then I would l hope that they would share a Christian attitude toward newcomers, no matter where they are from. You have to remember that there are quite a few people out there who are Just Plain IGNORANT! People grow up with these crazy ideas in their heads and it can poison their minds... especially if they never travel or open up to the world. You can't change them but you can change the way you react to them. Eleanor Roosevelt said it best; " No one can make you feel inferior without your consent ". I love that, it is my favorite quote. As I have gotten older, I have cared less what people think & say. There is very little you can do to change them anyway, except to hope that they open their eyes wider, & maybe have an experience that will show them how their preconceived ideas are wrong and can hurt others. But there will always be fools, & you can't cure stupid. I believe that there are good people everywhere, and it is unfortunate that you just haven't met any yet. People that are non-worldly and close-minded think that the state of NY is all like New York City. Much like I envisioned Texas to be when I was a child......all Cowboys & Indians. That is fine for a child but that is no excuse for an educated adult. It's funny, but I would have thought that some of the bad stigmas about NYC would have changed since 9/11 , imagine.... NYC has a Soft underbelly afterall.... Do what your heart tells you ... You need to be where you feel safe and comfortable, esp. when you have children. I am sorry you had such a negative experience. Here is another saying to Remember,.... Opinions are like ***holes.... everybody has one.....haha GOOD LUCK!
Three years in Raleigh, NC and things couldn't be better. No place is for everyone but I know plenty of people here from New York (both recent and 15+ year transplants) that get along just grand. It's a big world out there.
I've lived in the deep south and it was a terrible place to live (Macon, Georgia). In Macon, crime was out of control. Every night on the news there was a new murder or two that happened in the city. Education is a disgrace unless you find a nice suburban town, even then you don't know how the schools will be.
In the South, people generally are closed minded. I'm a Christian but I hate when people pester me about what church I go to or always want to talk about religious issues. I've seen racism caused by people of all races there.
Also, the weather is horrible. If you really can't stand the cold with your bones at all, then I would move to the South. However you better get used to the humidity wherever you go and besides, in the wintertime you get a wet type of cold. How do you like 40 degrees in Atlanta but with humidity?
The heat really makes people cranky in the South. The few times where you can see friendly elderly folks is watching them with their families (Southerners are extremely family oriented). Besides that, elderly people in the South seem so unhappy all of the time. Southern hospitality is a total stereotype. People are rude, haughty, and get worked up easily. Everything is slower in the South of course... People walk as slow as can be.
All throughout the South especially in the bigger cities like Atlanta, Birmingham, Charlotte... there is a thug problem. At least the thugs are polite in NY lol
I'm originally from NY, but I lived in Florida for awhile,which isn't considered the south by most people-- but it was. People would ask me things like "Where do you go to church?"
Mostly, I found it near impossible to have a conversation, even just an every day type of conversation, with most people.
It was mostly populations of the elderly, severly dysfunctional types or bible thumpers. If you didn't fit into one of those categories...
It seemed developmentally that people lagged behind. Lack of saavy or something like that.
It was a strange experience. I never found any southern hospitality, but I did find alot of southern hostility.
Well you moved to Zebulon. That is kind of in the country where you are going to find the more hateful people. I just moved from Cary to Augusta, GA (it is far worse here...not so much on the hostility but more on the part that there is nothing to do at all). But back to the NC part...look for a place in Cary if you can. Its a great city and all of (yes pretty much everyone) is from up north and a huge chunk from NY (like me I am from Glens Falls). I can say honestly that there were days that went by and I didn't hear an accent at all. I am not sure if this has been mentioned (there are 35 pages I did not read...so if so sorry for the re-post).
I posted earlier in the thread and find that it is still going on. I won't repeat what I said except to ask why are people from an urban metro area relocating to the rural South or small town?
Head to the big cities and suburbs where you will have Whole Foods stores, European pastries, Italian breads, open-air markets--for Pete's sake--Atlanta, Birmingham, Mobile, --cities with rich traditions, cultural and sports events and not just sprung up from whole cloth as a boom town or sprawlet.
Decide to embrace a new experience--stop looking back and look ahead--laugh at your own accent and acknowledge with a wink of an eye you know you are a Yankee. Don't be so serious and have your hackles up---geez---
Then enjoy the coastal areas, the seaside for cheap, the antebellum homes, the cool breezes off of the jasmine and get interested in the outdoors--golf--biking(find trails) meet people through bowling, art classes, or bridge clubs.
People in the South have a lot to do--it is just not the same "to do" that you have in NY. There are cultural and sports venues but they also spend a lot of time with family-picnics-outings-embracing friendships and doing things as buddies. Get involved and join in and be friendly rather than aloof. Show interest and a desire to participate.
Don't talk about all the things you miss, can't buy, can't do--it will take a good two years before you build your new life. It won't fall into your hands. It is an active, sometimes tough and melancholy process. You will be rewarded.
And plan to visit your old hometown a couple of times in the middle of winter. That'll cure ya!
laugh at your own accent and acknowledge with a wink of an eye you know you are a Yankee
Yeah, but why does it matter so much to people in the South how you talk?
Nobody up here blinks an eye if they meet someone with a Southern accent. And not just in the big cities; in the small towns, we don't care if you have a Southern accent either.
When I lived in NY state, I don't remember anyone insulting anyone who came from a different area, whether it be a different state or country, or someone with a different language, etc. (other than maybe pre-pubescent boys in grade school). When I lived in Florida, I would be called "cracker, you northerner, yankee", etc. I never understood the hostility and openness of it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tama
Head to the big cities and suburbs where you will have Whole Foods stores, European pastries, Italian breads, open-air markets--for Pete's sake--Atlanta, Birmingham, Mobile, --cities with rich traditions, cultural and sports events and not just sprung up from whole cloth as a boom town or sprawlet.
Is there really THAT much cultural tradition in Atlanta, Birmingham, or Mobile?? I doubt it. Been to Atlanta many times. Can't find any good bagels, decent italian bakeries, or pizza anywhere near those places lol
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