What's with some women not liking being called "ma'am"? (person)
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Location: Canada (I've lived in 5 different provinces)
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Yesterday the salesclerk at the grocery store called me Ma'am, it didn't bother me because she was obviously several years older than me. In general I don't like it though, even at my age, I'm not married so technically I'm a Miss not a Ma'am (I use Ms. if I have to use a title for any reason).
Really though, does anyone actually have to use any of these expressions in these type of situations (in a store or restaurant for example)?
Haha that put me in mind of one time when my youngest was around 3 years old- we were in the parking lot of a grocery store, and she saw an elderly man nearby- so she piped up and said to him "Hi there, old guy!!"
She wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful, she was a just a very friendly little kid!
I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
I'd heard "ma'am" is a shortened form of Madam, used when addressing a married woman- as opposed to 'Miss' for a single woman. But it seems it's been changed to mean older woman, so maybe that's why some women object to it.
Personally, I'm fine with either one or nothing at all.
Haha that put me in mind of one time when my youngest was around 3 years old- we were in the parking lot of a grocery store, and she saw an elderly man nearby- so she piped up and said to him "Hi there, old guy!!"
She wasn't trying to be rude or disrespectful, she was a just a veryfriendly little kid!
I'm a Yankee (sadly) and "Ma'am" isn't used too much in the North. However, when I'm down South or in the Midwest, I get called "Ma'am" and I love it! I'm 25, but don't mind being called "ma'am" or "miss." I like the South, Midwest, and old mannerisms, though... maybe I'm just weird.
I'm a Yankee (sadly) and "Ma'am" isn't used too much in the North. However, when I'm down South or in the Midwest, I get called "Ma'am" and I love it! I'm 25, but don't mind being called "ma'am" or "miss." I like the South, Midwest, and old mannerisms, though... maybe I'm just weird.
You're not weird, you're just still young....when you hit a certain age, you will discover that is actually IS used in in the north, only it's reserved for older women as opposed to the south where it's used with any age female. One day you'll go into a store you frequent, and the clerk will call you Ma'am, and you'll look around thinking he means someone else, but he doesn't. Then you'll start hearing it everywhere you go, and realize that almost magically, you've become a "Ma'am"...believe me it won't have the same charm as it does when you're 25 and in the south.
I still use Ma'am and Sir as a sign of respect and I feel I get treated better because of it. Here in Texas, we did learn manners and to respect elders. Now that I am over 60, I don't plan to change.
Location: Sodo Sopa at The Villas above Kenny' s House.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NCN
Don't I wish people would call me ma'am? Around here lately the wait staff at most restaurants have switched to "you guys" in referring to myself and my husband. When I am addressed in that manner, they have just served me the last meal I will be eating with them. I am tired of being called a grotesque murderer. That is the original meaning of the word "guys."
The really bad thing about it is that I have told some of them the meaning of the word guys and they look at you like you have two heads and have lost your mind. Where did all this rudeness come from? I worked with the public for 28 years and I assure you that if a person let me know something offended them, it did not come out of my mouth again while they were in the room. I would never have suggested to them that it should not offend them. A person gets to decide for themselves what is offensive.
I have a friend that says she tells the wait staff she does not want to be called "guys" and if she hears the word again, she doesn't leave a tip. I would think that doing that would make me as rude as they are. I just don't go there again. I have been thinking about giving the manager a call and let the manager know why I won't be back in their restaurant. I doubt that would make a difference though. If they have employees that say to you, "I didn't mean it that way" instead of apologizing, I doubt there is much hope anything will change.
Man I bet dinner with you is an experience. You do realize even though maybe technically correct saying something that obscure does make you look crazy.
Must be a regional thing - and you are in yankee territory
There was this Georgia cutie that flew in with one of my patients that was very polite. Everything was yes ma'am, no ma'am. It didn't bother me in the least. As a matter of fact he could have called me anything but married. Shhh don't tell John but I cheated on him for a nano second in my mind. What is it about those southern boys?
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