What's with some women not liking being called "ma'am"? (college, female)
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I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
Im surprised you made this thread! I have never heard of anyone having a problem with being called ma'am. I think its adorable and respectful to be honest.
This is a regional thing. Where I grew up, Texas, every female is referred to as "ma'am", from the little old ladies to the teens working behind the counter.
The first time I heard people address younger women by "Miss" is when I moved to NY. I hate it. It sounds patronizing to me. Not to mention it is far too much work for the stranger who is just trying to be polite to decipher the relative age and correlating title of "miss" or "ma'am" without insulting anyone.
I like it better in Texas where you use the same title "ma'am" or "sir" regardless of age.
Bingo I can spot a Texan in CO quick my wife and Mom thought it was great coming from So Cal
"Ma'am" signifies that the woman is aging. People don't usually say that to younger women. Look how women are judged & treated when they start aging, no wonder they have a problem with being called that. They're told they lose any importance they may have had when they start aging.
Ma'am is taken by some to mean, wow, now I look middle aged. Those hung up on aging might take it personally, but its not meant to label anyone really. In stores if the help says, can I help you ma'am, its really no different than saying, can I help you sir. There is nothing disrespectful about calling a woman ma'am. Young girls might once have been called miss, but I'm not sure if they are still even called that anymore. I've seen women in their 20's called ma'am too. Wait till they start calling ya elderly or a senior. Look how they are judged and treated!
I hate it! To me it sounds like a western school marm, I wish we had a different word, lol. I don't mind it in the south, as every female gets called ma'am, but here in the northeast you hit a certain age and magically go from "miss" to ma'am. I give a secret bonus tip to waiters and waitresses who call me "miss".
Other than addressing military officers as sir or ma'am, I don't
see the necessity of including such when addressing anyone else.
I get by just as easy saying, "thank-you" or "thank-you very
much" . Keeping my manners without the extra add-on BUT if
you're going to throw that in my face, expect it to be thrown
back at you
I hate it! To me it sounds like a western school marm, I wish we had a different word, lol. I don't mind it in the south, as every female gets called ma'am, but here in the northeast you hit a certain age and magically go from "miss" to ma'am. I give a secret bonus tip to waiters and waitresses who call me "miss".
It's kind of funny because miss used to be construed as a subtle come-on, because it's a word that denotes availability. The same with the french, mademoiselle.
I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
It makes us feel old. No other reason.
Being from Texas, I "ma'am" and "sir" any adult that I don't know unless the person is clearly quite young, in which case I refer to them as "Miss" or "Young man".
agreed - it makes us feel old. ma'am to me is my 80+ yr old grandmother, i have MANY MANY years before i get to that age.
i have a baby face. at the age of 21, i was often told i looked like i was 13. don't call me ma'am. do i LOOK like a ma'am? i've noticed over the years, the amount of people that call me ma'am has reduced (thank gawd).
I recall some women getting mad or sort of uptight at me for holding the door open for them. Others are gracious about it. Im sort of old-school about this.
I use maam occasionaly, but its sort of a 'southernism' to me. We didnt use it much up in Chicago, from what I recall.
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