What's with some women not liking being called "ma'am"? (females, males)
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When I first moved from England to Florida I hated being called ma'am! But now I've grown more used to it. Especially since I hear it even more here in NOLA. I've even caught myself saying it on occasion.
I like being called "ma'am" and calling other women "ma'am." I just see it as a word of respect. I know it is considered to be for older women but the respect part is what is important for me. "Miss" can be used but I don't like that word as much. Since I was a teenager I've been called "ma'am" in some sense because my voice sounds more mature than my real age and people who only hear me on the phone assume I'm older.
Please don't lump all women together because what you are saying isn't even close to how I feel about it.
AND you thinking women over 40 aren't as attractive as those younger ones is kinda scary. It might be your age or you hang out with some pretty shallow people.
I feel sillier when someone tries to call me "Miss" in a silly attempt to make me feel younger. I'm 50 for goodness sake! I passed being a Miss years ago.
Oh, I'm making a generalization based on my observations. Obviously I'm not a mind reeader and can't possibly know what every single woman thinks. But I can tell you as a younger woman that IN GENERAL most younger women are seen as better looking than older women (by societal standards, not mine), and women people think of as 30+ are usually called ma'am. We live in an age-obsessed society, and sadly most of that obsession falls on women.
That's why we're even on this forum discussing ma'am vs. miss. My point is why (as a society) do we even separate women by age with ma'am/miss? All men are sir no matter what their age. Do you ever wonder why that is?
Honorifcs like "ma'am" and "miss" were not used where I grew up (southern California), but I have developed an affinity for them from serving in the Army and being stationed in the South. I use them regularly now. I'm confident when I address southern women as either "ma'am" or "miss." In the South, I'll call a young waitress ten years younger than me "ma'am" -- I just put a little more playful inflection in my voice than I would with an older woman. Up North though, it's complicated. I'm never quite sure what to address women as. "Yo b****?"
I'm wondering why a woman has to be a b*tch just because she prefers not to be called ma'am? I hear that as a frequent alternative to the frustration of not knowing what to call a woman who is a stranger. Personally, I recommend ma'am for women of all ages. If sir works for every man, ma'am is fine for every woman. And if a lady does get bent out of shape, I apologize and ask what she would prefer to be called because I don't have a right to impose an honorific on a woman who doesn't want it and call that respect.
I do it on a subconscious level, I don't really think about it, but I was raised to address women I don't know as either "miss" or "ma'am." If I almost bump into a lady when I'm walking I'll say "Oh, pardon me ma'am." If I'm finishing a phone call with a woman I'll usually end it with "Thank you ma'am, have a good day." I've never gotten a bad reaction from it (I don't think so at least) but I've read a few anecdotes from men about getting bad looks or even being told not to address someone as "ma'am."
So what's the BFD? Why do some take offense to being shown respect?
I've had some womyn tell me not to call them ma'am, they are miss or mrs (as if I'm supposed to know especially if I'm not face-to-face with you). A few think the word ma'am makes them sound old and so you're aging them when you say ma'am. Remember most ladies want to stay young forever, and are ruffled once if someone "ages" them by treating, saying, acting, or thinking otherwise. Start saying miss or missus and you'd have these old goats (playing playing) drooling on themselves that someone thinks they're a young lady again. Remember the McDonald's commercial when a womyn was going into work and a man said excuse me ma'am? And during her whole ride up to the elevator and walk to her office she was making herself crazy with wondering when did she become a ma'am, and does she really look that old and stuff, and then she was happy again when another man called her miss? Yea it's like that with a lot of females.
yes i think it makes me sound old. I also hate when I get my car serviced and the call me ms(last name) I hate that I'm not old call me by my first name.
Oh I hate that word. Mostly when it has a nagging connotation where somebody who wouldn't talk to me otherwise needs something.
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I've had that happened too!
