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When I was growing up, my mom had few women friends. I was the youngest of three, by the time I came along, she had enough of the Officers Wives Club, PTA types, etc.
When I became a mom I jumped whole heartedly into Mom's groups, Girl Scouting, soccer and PTA. The witchiest moms didn't hesitate to share their witchy opinions in front of their children, training them early on to become 'Mean Girls'. The apple never falls far from the tree. The most insecure are the most competitive and won't hesitate to throw you under the bus if it will make them or their kid look good.
Because so much of this toxic behavior is passive aggressive, it breeds when women respond in self defense. I've worked in very toxic schools, and it only took one person to set off a chain reaction that led to a lot of nastiness.
I'm in a positive work environment now and I plan to stay there.
I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.
In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.
Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.
The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".
I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.
In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.
Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.
The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".
What are your theories?
Women are human beings too. There is also competition and friction just like anybody else. But women war with each other through words and psychological games rather than physical assault and murder like when men are at odds with each other.
I'm not in healthcare, but also have no female friends. We are either b****es or boring. Rarely one falls in between for some period of time, then leans left or right, or, worse, both. Also, women are less forgetful and less forgiving, their souls seem to have smaller capacity. We are not as generous as men are. And mind capacity is smaller, and horizons are narrower - on average - then those of men. Boring ones make great, devoted friends, but god! how debilitating can be their conversations.
I have some nice female friends since childhood We are really nice to each others and we rarely pick other people just because of picking. If we have a problem with someone, then we might just because we are hurt and angry for the while. But we don't insult or pick each others, we are friends, being friends means no picking. Of course I don't keep friends who would be catty and mean. In fact I just dropped one person because she was a big meanie and she works at health care Maybe they are their own nasty group who would know..
Being friends, define friend and character of friend .. If a person is not friendly nor thinking good for each other there is no chance to be friends. Friends is opposite of enemies.
I know a guy too who wanted to be my "friend", he mocks everyone all the time and he made me feel sorry for them. He claimed that is "humour". I told him to continue that humour with someone else because that is what I do with my enemies, lol
What is with people when they dont enjoy genuine friendship by bringing good into each others lives, I don't know. Some of them seem to **** and spit on people and claim that is just friends joke.. Still always another of them seems to be hurt. Why they continue and claims to be friends, that I never understand. Nor guys who beat each other one day and hug another day and they are friends forever, quite painfull friendship to me. Each to their own.
I, have awesome friends. Some are women, and some are men.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BusyMeAK
I'm not in healthcare, but also have no female friends. We are either b****es or boring. Rarely one falls in between for some period of time, then leans left or right, or, worse, both. Also, women are less forgetful and less forgiving, their souls seem to have smaller capacity. We are not as generous as men are. And mind capacity is smaller, and horizons are narrower - on average - then those of men. Boring ones make great, devoted friends, but god! how debilitating can be their conversations.
HA I am boring and a Btch and I enjoy both very much.
Some women just do not relate to a lot of other women on so many different levels it really is not worth the effort to pursue a friendship.
I do not go shopping just to shop.
I do not gossip.
I do not watch television.
I do not get my nails done.
I do not get my hair done.
I do not have to have the latest fashion.
I hate shoes.
I hate soap operas.
I have had the same handbag for about 10 years now.
And the list goes on.
The female friends I have are few but have been friends for more than 10 years with most of them.
I've spent my entire career working in healthcare. Healthcare is largely a workforce made up of women.
In my 20 years of working, starting as an hourly associate and now as a Director at a very large hospital network( I've worked in 6 different hospitals)........I can see why many women are not friends with other women.
Some of the nastiest and most negitive people working in the hopitals are women. It's hard for me to believe some of them have children and boyfriends/husbands. It's vey toxic to say the least. I am not saying men are not toxic, but I can clearly see why many women don't have women friends.
The level of meaness and cattiness is overbearing at times. It's actually unforunate because many of them think their behavior is "just fine".
I'm an older RN who has seen the described behavior increase over the years. It started when staffing cutbacks began in the 1980's. RN's were frequently floated to areas where they had no experience, often midshift. If the census was low they were often called 1 hr before a scheduled shift and told to stay home "on call" for the entire shift. If the census dropped mid shift due to pt discharges, they were sent home to remain "on call" for the remainder of the shift. The pt load per RN increased from 6-8 pts with an aid to assist up to 10-12 pts on a typical medical/surgical floor. The required charting increased significantly also.
Thus it has become extremely stressful in many hospitals.
There are threads in the Psychology forum about people being more and more stressed out at work. So, people wouldn't be seeing each other at their best.
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We are really nice to each others and we rarely pick other people just because of picking. If we have a problem with someone, then we might 
just because we are hurt and angry for the while. But we don't insult or pick each others, we are friends, being friends means no picking. Of course I don't keep friends who would be catty and mean. In fact I just dropped one person because she was a big meanie and she works at health care 
Maybe they are their own nasty group who would know.. 
