I've heard women say: "I don't have any female friends"....why is this? (husband, dynamics)
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I work primarily with women (probably 85% women). I've rarely ever had a problem getting along with any of them over the years.
However, it's been my experience that more than a few of them (the women) have had trouble getting along with each other. I can rattle off many observations and experiences I've personally had where two women I get along with just fine separately, cannot get along with each other.
It's not the majority that are this way, but certainly a significant minority....enough to make me wonder why fairly often women can't get along harmoniously with other women, while getting along just fine with me and/or other guys in the office.
Generally, in my opinion, when guys don't get along with each other, you'll in short order know there is a problem. Tempers flare and heated words are exchanged. With the women I've observed it's much more under the table and amounts more to snipping or negative comments to others about so and so.
Men naturally have a higher tolerance to female meanness than women do. That's why you can have a woman that treats people badly and is rude and she only gets along with men. Women notice it in other women, which isn't always a good thing...
Women often are competitive against each other and often don't play as a team. Also many women don't separate business and personal.
Speaking as a woman who had a successful career in a male dominated profession, I would have loved to have had more women friends. It is hard to beat having the sisterhood.
But it is what it is and I treasure the friends I had through the years. But men just see things differently.
You think men are not competitive and they play as a team? Really? That's totally a personality thing and not a gender thing.
One thing I have harped about to my daughters is dont date men you work with and dont get chummy with the women outside of work. Each one has had repercussions from not taking this advice.
That goes for both genders. The boss seen sloppy drunk and cheating on his spouse in public is not making wise career moves. The person who has a relationship with a coworker and it ends badly will not recover easily.
One male colleague I had regaled others with wild tales about his sex/social life. Of course it got around and it affected his career. His mistake was not separating business and social life. It's a common mistake for either gender.
American workplaces must be different. In my 20 years of being employed, across various industries, I've never seen anything close to this kind of behaviour
They aren't different outside of a few minor cultural differences. I have no idea what these people are talking about.
Some of these comments are making me feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I am incredulous at the sexism in these posts. I am sure all sexist posts will be denied and be touted as "just saying the facts" or something.
I think the pressure on women is different than for men, and much more intense. Think of how society treats average looking women and how it treats average looking men. How it treats never married, childless women and how it treats their male counterparts. I think this breeds some competition, though I completely believe men in general are just as competitive, it's just that they had more advantages than women since the beginning of time. As for being emotional, yes, perhaps our biology can take the credit for that, but I don't think it has to be a negative thing.
Cruelty and proneness to gossip is absolutely not a woman thing. I've met my fair share of disloyal, gossip-prone men and plenty of mean ones. To be honest, I can't believe I actually have to type something like this in 2015. You'd think we're past that. Maybe one reason I don't have some of the issues others are describing is that I don't treat women as guilty until proven innocent. Maybe women are sensing your suspicion or aversion to them, and that's why you're having problems? Not excusing nasty behavior, ever, but it's something to consider.
Oh, and one of my biggest pet peeves in life is women who say all their friends are guys or something to that effect. It's usually them that give us a bad name.
The fact is: bad diet create bad character and people around us influence ourselves. Globally people are honouring money and status; no matter if no good moral, if the person is RICH/ FAMOUS, then people like, listen to every illogical craps as the COOL thing. I lose old friends and new ones, because I am not financially stable.
If you are open to global friendship (very different background) you are welcome to be my friends. Just pm me.
You think men are not competitive and they play as a team? Really? That's totally a personality thing and not a gender thing.
I believe men are competitive and it wasn't my intention to say otherwise. Every man I knew professionally was competitive and willing to draw blood as needed or when the opportunity presented itself.
But watch little boys in the school yard. they will have the pecking order sorted out in no time at all and then they fall into their roles. The quarterback will emerge, the place kicker etc. And they will play together to win.
not sure little girls are the same. different skill set I imagine.
I believe men are competitive and it wasn't my intention to say otherwise. Every man I knew professionally was competitive and willing to draw blood as needed or when the opportunity presented itself.
But watch little boys in the school yard. they will have the pecking order sorted out in no time at all and then they fall into their roles. The quarterback will emerge, the place kicker etc. And they will play together to win.
not sure little girls are the same. different skill set I imagine.
I'm a teacher in the younger grades and sometimes boys do play as a team, as do the girls. I have observed thousands of recess times. It's a personality thing and not a gender thing.
Some children and adults are more inclined to be team players and others are not. Even in the school yard competition can be cut throat for either gender in both the burbs and the inner city. (I've taught in both places.)
You sound like one of the exceptions to the rule. Our new manager was a younger woman and our old manager was an older man. She is why I quit the job I loved for ten years. There is another woman manager above her that I didn't particularly care for that came up to me one day and gave me her cell phone number. WHY? That was just weird. I don't have to work to survive so I voted with my feet on the matter. It's amazing how two people can destroy a department in a few short weeks. I've also seen an older woman manager from a different discipline in with our new manager for over an hour. One can only guess what went on behind closed doors there. It's a very small hospital and nothing stays secret for long. I've never seen moral so bad and people leave on such a mass exodus in the ten years I've worked there. I feel sorry for the ones stuck in their misery. I don't understand why women can't control their emotions better, especially in upper management. That new manager that gave me her cell phone number even told me some really personal things that were incredibly sad. I just saw it as a way to try to manipulate me. I agree that sociopathic women in upper management are scary. I'm afraid you have a long way to go before you retire dear one. I hope it's smooth sailing for you.
My experience is that women make better supervisors. I've worked for several women and numerous men. The women were better at communicating, answering questions, being clear on what they needed. There are exceptions to everything, of course.
As for the boss that gave you her cell phone #, your reaction indicates to me that hte problem with women is on your end. Why would you get offended and quit your job because a supervisor gave you her cell phone #? That's crazy. I would have just taken the number and put it in my wallet as an emergency way to reach her. I wouldn't have given it another thought.
Maybe you have issues with accepting the authority of other women?
As for being emotional, I wish women would stop thinking of "the man's way" of doing things as THE way. There is nothing wrong with showing certain kinds of emotion. We are all human. However, it is MEN, in my experience, who get emotional by ranting and raving and browbeating their workers. I have been yelled at twice in my career, both times by young, inexperienced, wet behind the ears men.
I try to judge each person on his/her own merits, without bringing my baggage to the table. I assume the supervisor or co-worker is good at his/her job. I assume I will like him/her. I think these things until they show me differently.
To dislike someone because of his/her gender, ethnicity, race, or age is prejudice.
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Our new manager was a younger woman and our old manager was an older man. She is why I quit the job I loved for ten years. There is another woman manager above her that I didn't particularly care for that came up to me one day and gave me her cell phone number. WHY? That was just weird. I don't have to work to survive so I voted with my feet on the matter. It's amazing how two people can destroy a department in a few short weeks. I've also seen an older woman manager from a different discipline in with our new manager for over an hour. One can only guess what went on behind closed doors there. It's a very small hospital and nothing stays secret for long. I've never seen moral so bad and people leave on such a mass exodus in the ten years I've worked there. I feel sorry for the ones stuck in their misery. I don't understand why women can't control their emotions better, especially in upper management. That new manager that gave me her cell phone number even told me some really personal things that were incredibly sad. I just saw it as a way to try to manipulate me. I agree that sociopathic women in upper management are scary. I'm afraid you have a long way to go before you retire dear one. I hope it's smooth sailing for you.
