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You might consider that this is the first signs of depression or dementia. My dad was this way about 5 years before we started seeing dementia symptoms. Some of it was that he was losing his speaking ability and forgetting recent things.
Most (ok many) "older" people have the idea that the best part of their life is behind them. This really gives them nothing to look forward to or strive for. They have given up on life and are just waiting to die.
Remember this when you are older and don't fall into this trap. It's really sad.
I disagree, as I used to be a get up and go type of person, always doing something, rushing around, yada, yada.....worked very hard, extremely physical in my work and play...like riding horses, working construction, bailing hay
I've suddenly learned that it's so energizing, just to sit and do nothing...and love it....there is an amazing peace, and quiet to it....self soothing, and detoxes my whole being...it's called relaxation...and so glad I found it....
So in the later years of life, now, I'm suffering, with joint pain...and can no longer do much...in the way of physical work...
I do miss being active....but have learned to accept it....
I'm not retired. I'm nowhere near retirement. But I've learned a valuable lesson from watching my parents' retirement.
They both worked 30+ years. They did the 9-5, 2080 hours/year. Day in and day out. I know what that feels like. My father retired young (in his 50s). He's sharp. He still works with his hands. He has daily/weekly/monthly goals on what he wants to do. Fix the AC, work on his boat, help out a neighbor, run a CAT-5 cable to a new room in the house, maintain his lawn and garden, paint the house. Every time we speak, he is either in the middle of doing something or thinking of how to tackle his next problem. And he loves it.
When he first retired, he spent about a month "doing nothing." Drink his coffee, watch weekday morning TV that he hadn't seen in 30+ years, then watch afternoon TV... and probably started questioning what the point of retiring is if it is just "sitting around doing nothing."
My mother on the other hand was a very sharp woman - intelligent, inquisitive, sharp witted, etc. When she retired, she initially followed my father's path. She "did nothing." She said "I worked hard all my life and now I don't have to worry about anything." She didn't add anything new to her life. She still did her daily things - like cooking, food shopping, etc. But she didn't pick up any hobbies. She took that first month of "do nothing" and has stretched into ten years of "doing nothing."
However, those ten years have taken its toll. Her brain has atrophied or something. She lost what made her "my mom." She's dull and slow. Still physically healthy, but mentally - just a husk really. When we talk, she talks about inane things like the weather. Always the weather. It is kind of sad really.
Prior to retirement, she had all these grand plans on what she'd do with her time - volunteer at her church or at a school - join the city beautification committee - learn to play an instrument. But no, she pretty much falls into that "do nothing" category.
I'm not retired. I'm nowhere near retirement. But I've learned a valuable lesson from watching my parents' retirement.
They both worked 30+ years. They did the 9-5, 2080 hours/year. Day in and day out. I know what that feels like. My father retired young (in his 50s). He's sharp. He still works with his hands. He has daily/weekly/monthly goals on what he wants to do. Fix the AC, work on his boat, help out a neighbor, run a CAT-5 cable to a new room in the house, maintain his lawn and garden, paint the house. Every time we speak, he is either in the middle of doing something or thinking of how to tackle his next problem. And he loves it.
When he first retired, he spent about a month "doing nothing." Drink his coffee, watch weekday morning TV that he hadn't seen in 30+ years, then watch afternoon TV... and probably started questioning what the point of retiring is if it is just "sitting around doing nothing."
My mother on the other hand was a very sharp woman - intelligent, inquisitive, sharp witted, etc. When she retired, she initially followed my father's path. She "did nothing." She said "I worked hard all my life and now I don't have to worry about anything." She didn't add anything new to her life. She still did her daily things - like cooking, food shopping, etc. But she didn't pick up any hobbies. She took that first month of "do nothing" and has stretched into ten years of "doing nothing."
However, those ten years have taken its toll. Her brain has atrophied or something. She lost what made her "my mom." She's dull and slow. Still physically healthy, but mentally - just a husk really. When we talk, she talks about inane things like the weather. Always the weather. It is kind of sad really.
Prior to retirement, she had all these grand plans on what she'd do with her time - volunteer at her church or at a school - join the city beautification committee - learn to play an instrument. But no, she pretty much falls into that "do nothing" category.
I hope to learn from that mistake myself.
yes, this....
you must continue to keep your brain active as well as your body.
My sister is in her mid-70's and she walks her dog 3 miles every single day.
My father is like this. Always been like this, now that he’s retired, it’s even worse. He just sits around the house, maybe watching a bit of t.v. or playing around with his smartphone. I’d be bored outta of my mind just sitting around and just daydreaming to pass time. I don’t understand how someone not realize there’s more to life than just sitting around everyday
Sit him at a computer and teach him how to comment on city data
Otherwise, invite him to lunch, or to some activity you and he enjoy.
Love him and let him live his life the way he wants...He's earned it.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 11 days ago)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EmilyFoxSeaton
You might consider that this is the first signs of depression or dementia. My dad was this way about 5 years before we started seeing dementia symptoms. Some of it was that he was losing his speaking ability and forgetting recent things.
I completely agree. OP, does your father live alone?
you must continue to keep your brain active as well as your body.
My sister is in her mid-70's and she walks her dog 3 miles every single day.
My example was anecdotal at best, but the people in my extended family that have stayed active - whether physically or mentally (or both) tend to be in better general health than those that have led "do nothing" retirements.
The op still hasn’t answered how he knows what his father does all day?
Why does one person feel they get to decide what others do with their time?
Is his father happy and healthy or enjoying retirement?
I think you have a right to be concerned for your father.
Does he have an iPad or tablet? There's tons of games that are great for the brain and you can also download books. My grandparents love theirs. I think even if physically someone can't keep active, keeping the brain active is important.
But does he seem happy and in good spirits? Or does him seem just lost or sad?
Try lunch or something once a week to get him out of the house. Does he enjoy watching sports? You could go to a sports game together.
So invite him to accompany you on some of your exciting, non-boring adventures.
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