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Well to back up the OP a little, my husband fully retired theee years ago. Fortunately he plays golf at least three days a week, does some work in the yard and on the house and helps a bit with grandchild care.
However when he is home and "relaxing" it means sitting in from of the TV, often playing something on his iPad at the same time. Drives me crazy as I have never been a TV watcher. I think it is our different personalities at clash here. I cannot stand daytime TV in particular but he comes from a family that always had the TV on all day.
I try to take the view that he is entitled to do what he likes, within reason. But then I observe our ninety year old neighbour out in the garden or working in his workshop and I start growling!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Originally Posted by HappyFarm34
My father is like this. Always been like this, now that he’s retired, it’s even worse. He just sits around the house, maybe watching a bit of t.v. or playing around with his smartphone. I’d be bored outta of my mind just sitting around and just daydreaming to pass time. I don’t understand how someone not realize there’s more to life than just sitting around everyday
My mother is the same way. She is still working but doesn’t do much outside of shop and watch TV. I figure she earned that right after 20 years in the military and about to retire from a fed job. Her life is simple for her and that’s cool with me.
By all means leave your father be, he earned the right to run clock on his life.
My Mom got like that, and I really think it was depression. Eventually I suggested she drive for Lyft (she needed money) because she loves to drive, and it really brought her around. Weird, but true.
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Go visit with him and play cards. A board game. Help him put together a puzzle. Instead of complaining about what he's not doing, go spend some time with him while he's still here and you can.
Some of us would trade everything we own to be able to spend time with our dads again but we can't anymore.
Oh so it’s not that he spends time watching but the noise, I can understand. I use earphones through my Roku if my husband is wanting to read in the evening and I want to watch a movie. Maybe you could set that up .
I'd suggest trying to get over the need/urge to understand it and just let it be. Some people are very happy/content like that so let them be. You do you, let them be themselves, too. Especially when it is your father, you should aim to accept him as he is and meet him on his own terms. It might do wonders for your relationship.
I'd also plant the seed here that health can be a factor. Even when people seem to be in decent health, sometimes general fitness is low and they honestly just do not have the will or energy to do stuff. Healthy and energetic people have a hard time understanding this until they, too, lose their health. Health is one of those blessings where we often do not realize what we have until it is gone and then all of a sudden we have insights into other people that we completely missed and wish we could go back and be different towards those people.
Go visit with him and play cards. A board game. Help him put together a puzzle. Instead of complaining about what he's not doing, go spend some time with him while he's still here and you can.
Some of us would trade everything we own to be able to spend time with our dads again but we can't anymore.
My mother has spent a lot of her life like this. Moderate-to-severe anxiety, depression, in bed a lot, just checked-out and not interested. Had no interest in much of anything except watching TV, reading or talking on the phone to her girlfriends, as in those days none of the women worked.
I fly in to visit her in her retirement community in another state and she spends 70% of her time in bed. There's literally no conversation between us, and she doesn't care how rude her behavior is, she won't change, doesn't care, and that's that. She has her sister nearby and they eat out a lot so she does that since she won't cook at all. But otherwise, no hobbies. I make my visits short in length and sporadic.
Last edited by lottamoxie; 04-19-2018 at 07:13 AM..
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