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For those who are like me, have you ever been able to get through to a chronically late person in your life and get them to see your side and make a change for the better?
no.
Is there an hope for the chronically late?
no.
Can they change?
no.
old quote:
the most selfish thing you can do in your life, is to be late when others are waiting.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 10 days ago)
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I have chronically late friends, and since I rarely do things singly with them, well, they're just late to the event. We already ordered food, we're already seated in the movie, we might be halfway through our interest in being in this specific location and they might not feel like they got enough time.
Here's what I've noticed about them, that surprised me. They aren't passive-aggressive. They're positive, and social, and they're the kind of people who think ooh, I can run this one more errand before I get to the gathering and I'll still be on time. They're just wrong about their time management.
Here's specifically what I've noticed. There is NO ONE who is chronically late, that I don't look forward to seeing once they arrive. The people I really don't care to see at all usually arrive on time, or arrive early. *shrug*
I say this, as a person who arrives early, so there's that.
I have zero tolerance for chronically late people. In business I would start the meeting on time and if someone was late, I refused to start over for them. They could get up to speed some other way. Friends that show up late for dinner more than once simply don’t get invited again. Nothing hard about it.
My mother and one of my sisters were both always late. I finally started leaving without them or just saying I'd see them at the event, but neither changed. I did notice, however, that when something was particularly important to them there was no problem being on time. Both tended to be a little more self indulgent than most people in other ways also.
My mother and one of my sisters were both always late. I finally started leaving without them or just saying I'd see them at the event, but neither changed. I did notice, however, that when something was particularly important to them there was no problem being on time. Both tended to be a little more self indulgent than most people in other ways also.
I've known people like that, too. Late to work, late to meetings with co-workers, late to doctors appointments, late to dinners with friends, etc. The odd thing is that they never seemed to be late to things that they felt were "important" such as the airport when they were going on vacation, or Broadway Shows or events that they had planned.
I've known people like that, too. Late to work, late to meetings with co-workers, late to doctors appointments, late to dinners with friends, etc. The odd thing is that they never seemed to be late to things that they felt were "important" such as the airport when they were going on vacation, or Broadway Shows or events that they had planned.
Fortunately I've never had to deal with anyone else who behaved like this, at least not in a close association.
Just dealt with my chronically late friend last week. She has never been on time in 20 years. Work, church or fun for anyone. I usually would go to her home because I just don’t want to be waiting for her to show up. Late. But now she has moved so far away I won’t go there anymore. So she has missed our time together and planned a day to come to my house. She had to plan 3 months ahead, then changed it 2 times. I gave her a deadline of 3 days before her arrival date to back out because I had opportunities to take advantage of within that time frame. That deadline day came and she was still on plan. Great. The next day she found out she had to work. Insisted I wait till she went to work to change shifts. Ok that worked. The day of she is texting me how she has to this that and the other thing first and will be 2 hours late. But now she is really feeling “icky” due to the high heat. She would like to reschedule. I just blew up and told her that I could have gone with friends if I had known she was wasn’t going to show up and how rude it was. She then said she was sorry and was on her way, but wasn’t going to clean up or do her hair. She finally made it. We at my house ate 2 hours earlier, on time. She had leftovers and was stunned we hadn’t waited for her.
Never again.
I just don’t get it how people can be so chronically late. But she is never going to change.
Some people who are chronically late may be "time blind".
I just heard of this a few months ago, but I suspect it's fairly common (at least where I live). People who are "time blind" have a poor sense of timing, can easily "lose track of the time", and are not good at estimating how much time they need to do something or get somewhere. As a result, they have trouble with punctuality.
I think it's related to ADHD.
Last edited by tlarnla; 10-01-2019 at 01:15 AM..
Reason: grammar change
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