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I'm generally a punctual person, I try to never be more than 3 min late.
Technology to the rescue!
When I set up an appointment in my calendar, at the time I do so I also set up an alarm that tells me 5 min before I need to get in the car and leave. I also set a notification for 1 or 2 hours before that, so I get plenty of time to get ready. If it's an appointment I setup weeks or months earlier I will also set a notification for the evening before to remind me there's an appointment the next day.
I've learned not to rely on memory for something when there's a perfectly good (better, even) solution. I've made it so it's almost impossible for me to miss an appointment or plans because I totally spaced out.
And, with Google Maps one can quickly and easily calculate the amount of time it will take to get from Point A to Point B and it will even tell you what time you should leave (includes traffic) to get to your appointment or event by the time you specify.
However, someone who is chronically late isn't just disorganized, they can be passive/aggressively exerting control or have some mental issue or mental block that compels them to procrastinate or overbook. Some are just self-centered and don't care how their tardiness affects anyone else. It's a complex issue when it's chronic.
Parties, I can see being a little late but you were really mad when people arrived on time for a massage appointment?
I stopped making massage appointments and I did better by not having them. Even my regulars could screw up my day royally because they had to cancel an appointment. I was hinging everything on this person showing up that day, at that time, and then cancelled. Meanwhile, there were others that called and I put all of them off because I was holding out for this regular.
I've learned, in the massage business, when someone wants a massage they want it Now, Now! If they're in pain, and you're not there to take care of them Now, they'll go elsewhere. Absolutely futile to tell them to come the next day as they won't. I'm speaking from someone who did massage for 30+ years.
So later on, with my business, I kept the slate clear for those that suddenly wanted one and I did better without the appointments.
But then I lived in Las Vegas at the time. Absolutely no advance appointments from tourists, as they can get distracted way too easily. The majority of my calls went like this: "Are you available? I can be there in 15 minutes!" or: "I'm staying at the MGM, how long would it take for you to get here?"
DH is a rather unorganized, late person. ALWAYS I would be ready, standing there, tapping my foot while he scurried around in crisis mode. Drove me nuts and still does. I think as others pointed out, he has very poor "time awareness".
Surprisingly, he's gotten better since retirement and living here. We don't have a car, so others will invite us to ride with them. Even though we are in So. America, our friends are usually early. DH finally got that thru' his head, so he'll start getting ready sooner, knowing we want to be out in the parking lot 10 min. early to show respect for those giving us a ride.
It's still a monkey-circus on airport days, though. It takes him 3X as long to get ready and I have NO idea why.
I have to count down the clock to help him along, LOL.
This is my DH as well (except he's not retired yet). I've started telling him we have to leave a half hour before we actually do so I don't lose my ***** waiting for him. Famous line from him: "Just going to take a 5 minute shower, be right down..." Yea, it's never a 5 minute shower.
I ended a friendship with someone who is chronically late.
It is such a slap in the face, they are saying their time is much more important than yours.
I am habitually on time. Being late stresses me out.
You may not know it, but you may have done your friend a huge favor! She may have gone on to find friends, like herself, who aren't so obsessed with punctuality.
I grew up with parents who were hyper punctual and it only got worse as they became elderly. The nagging to get ready to leave would start over an hour before they determined the time to leave, which was already generous in travel time.
When my aunt is driving and picking up the hustle out the door is least 5 min before and one must stand there in hot FL temps waiting. Aunt is often anywhere from 5 to 10 min late. No matter. Going outside early and waiting must occur because of the anxiety level of the controlling parent.
Bottomline: people who are 'chronic' in either direction create stress for other people.
I stopped making massage appointments and I did better by not having them. Even my regulars could screw up my day royally because they had to cancel an appointment. I was hinging everything on this person showing up that day, at that time, and then cancelled. Meanwhile, there were others that called and I put all of them off because I was holding out for this regular.
I've learned, in the massage business, when someone wants a massage they want it Now, Now! If they're in pain, and you're not there to take care of them Now, they'll go elsewhere. Absolutely futile to tell them to come the next day as they won't. I'm speaking from someone who did massage for 30+ years.
So later on, with my business, I kept the slate clear for those that suddenly wanted one and I did better without the appointments.
But then I lived in Las Vegas at the time. Absolutely no advance appointments from tourists, as they can get distracted way too easily. The majority of my calls went like this: "Are you available? I can be there in 15 minutes!" or: "I'm staying at the MGM, how long would it take for you to get here?"
What I hear you saying is that you hated it when your regulars would cancel because you were expecting them to show up and they didn’t. They wasted your time. You put off others (or other things) because you thought that you had both committed to that time frame for the massage appointment. You could have used that time for another client, or even for yourself, but due to the last minute cancellation, they wasted your time. Is that a correct assessment?
If so, it sounds like you have some of the same issues as I do with people not valuing your time, which in turn leads to waste of time because they were not considerate enough to keep the agreed upon obligation. If I knew someone was going to show up an hour late, I could have ran some errands, slept in, or done something else with that time rather then sitting around waiting for them to arrive. I hate that they wasted my time. It’s inconsiderate of them to be so oblivious to the fact that I’m sitting around waiting for them.
I still don’t understand why you hated it when people showed up on time for appointments.
A lot of massage places operate the way you do. It makes sense. Not sure what it has to do with the issue of late arrivals though or punctuality.
What I hear you saying is that you hated it when your regulars would cancel because you were expecting them to show up and they didn’t. They wasted your time. You put off others (or other things) because you thought that you had both committed to that time frame for the massage appointment. You could have used that time for another client, or even for yourself, but due to the last minute cancellation, they wasted your time. Is that a correct assessment?
If so, it sounds like you have some of the same issues as I do with people not valuing your time, which in turn leads to waste of time because they were not considerate enough to keep the agreed upon obligation. If I knew someone was going to show up an hour late, I could have ran some errands, slept in, or done something else with that time rather then sitting around waiting for them to arrive. I hate that they wasted my time. It’s inconsiderate of them to be so oblivious to the fact that I’m sitting around waiting for them.
I still don’t understand why you hated it when people showed up on time for appointments.
A lot of massage places operate the way you do. It makes sense. Not sure what it has to do with the issue of late arrivals though or punctuality.
I don't understand why you'd waste Any time at all! I always have Plans B,C,D & even E, so with the time that I would wait I always made full use of it. No loss at all! And then problem I'd get distracted with something, while waiting, I grew to enjoy it so much, I then prayed they'd be another hour late.
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