Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That was the decision I made. This was in a group. There were a couple of people (oddly the same people who organized this group) who would show up really late for planned activities, like over an hour, so the rest of the group would wait for them to arrive before getting started. We’d still hang out and enjoy each other’s company while waiting but still..... The rest of the group didn’t seem to mind, or if they did they didn’t say anything. It really bothered me so I stopped going. I suspect it will fall apart eventually as it will continue to go on.
I'm retired now. When I worked I would make every effort to get in on time. In one place where we lived, we didn't own a car and relied on public transportation. I would leave home early and many times, traffic would be horrible. Mind you, this was before cell phones existed so it wasn't like I could call my boss. Once I was on a train that just stopped in the tunnel right before my stop. No exaggeration---we sat there for almost half a hour. There was no PA system on the train so we never knew why we were stopped. I ended up being late by about half an hour. One of my co-workers was on the train ahead of me and she, too, got in late. I could never find that sweet spot when it came to leaving for work. One day, I overslept and quickly got ready. I was so sure that I would be really late...but...I was 15 minutes early, sitting at my desk and working. All that said, most of the time I got to work right on time. It was frustrating to get stuck in traffic when I was on the bus connecting to the train.
You were in a bad situation, and being on time or late was out of your control. I drove to work, as did my coworkers. I was seldom late for work, honestly. And it was an effort to train myself to be on time.
Oddly, I enjoy having guests come late! And nothing irks me more than those that are johnny-on-the-spot, as they won't be re-invited.
They're due at 7pm, and here I am discovering something really exciting on the Internet. "Oh, please God, let them come at 8pm instead!"
I did massage for 35 years and nothing irked me more than when someone arrived 1 or 2 minutes before the appointment, or on time. That just tells me that person is not very healthy.
In Latin America, according to the Travel Guides I took with me to South America, if the scheduled time is 8pm, in the book, if invited to someone's house, you arrive one hour later. Arrive any time sooner, and you won't be re-invited.
Americans need to relax more, chill out more about time.
Oscar Wilde: Punctuality is the thief of all time!
If someone that invites me to dinner, that I know has a history of being anal about time, I'll find some excuse not to go because it puts too much pressure on me. My invitations: Whenever, whenever!
I eventually established 15 minute wait time for more casual moments. In the case of chronically late people I used the half hour before technique for scheduled events. The 7:30 movie became the 7:00 movie.
I have a dear dear friend who is a warm, kind hearted, giving, tender loving humanitarian and is also the most aggravating, time insensitive, ***** on earth. Nothing will cure her. Nothing. She called me upset because an old friend ended their friendship. He had a job with a rigid schedule and had managed to squeak out an extra half an hour so they could have a whole 1 and a 1/4 hour lunch. She showed up 35 minutes late, with shopping bags from a store next to the restaurant, in a great mood because she told him, "she had the whole day to herself." She was actually on time and willfully chose to leave him sitting there alone.
I gave her no sympathy and in fact read her the full on riot act.
Years later she showed up over 7 hours late to a weekend visit to my house. She only lived 4 hours away. She could have called before she left, she could have called from the road, nope she just wouldn't do it. When she left three days later I told her I would never make plans with her again. Phone friends only.
The people I've known who are chronically late generally continue those patterns. The only way they can learn a lesson about this is through consequences that are inconvenient enough or painful enough to make an impact.
- A scheduled flight will not wait for someone who is, as usual, running late and can't manage to get themselves to the gate on time. The boarding proceeds, the door is closed, and once closed it's not opening even if the late arriving passenger throws a tantrum at the gate. Sorry Charlie!
- A theatre or ballet performance will not wait for tardy attendees. Once the lights dim, the show starts. Some venues have a policy that late attendees will not be seated until intermission so as to not disturb the other patrons. You can't manage to arrive on time, you're going to be cooling your heels.
If the people in their lives don't hold them accountable they will continue to perpetuate the behaviors. Losing a friend or no longer being invited to events is the chance they take.
Oddly, I enjoy having guests come late! And nothing irks me more than those that are johnny-on-the-spot, as they won't be re-invited.
They're due at 7pm, and here I am discovering something really exciting on the Internet. "Oh, please God, let them come at 8pm instead!"
I did massage for 35 years and nothing irked me more than when someone arrived 1 or 2 minutes before the appointment, or on time. That just tells me that person is not very healthy.
In Latin America, according to the Travel Guides I took with me to South America, if the scheduled time is 8pm, in the book, if invited to someone's house, you arrive one hour later. Arrive any time sooner, and you won't be re-invited.
Americans need to relax more, chill out more about time.
Oscar Wilde: Punctuality is the thief of all time!
If someone that invites me to dinner, that I know has a history of being anal about time, I'll find some excuse not to go because it puts too much pressure on me. My invitations: Whenever, whenever!
^^^^This is a very unusual point of view.
It "irked" you when someone arrived for an appt. on time? Really? You would rather them be late which creates a domino effect when it comes to your later clients? Wow.
Once I had a doctor's appt. and arrived on time. A few minutes later, the nurse called me in. She told me that the person who had an appt. before me had just arrived very late. The nurse said she was taking me first because I was on time. Also, she explained that it takes just one person arriving late that causes the doctor to run late and it forces patients to have to wait sometimes a long time. Personally, I think when people show up for a doctor's appt. late, they should be told that they need to reschedule. It's rude and inconsiderate to just show up late. That said, I do understand when there is a medical emergency and the doctor has to see that person right away.
It's bizarre that you think when a client shows up on time, you assume it means they are not "very healthy". Have you ever thought that the reason they arrived on time is that they know it would be rude and inconsiderate to not be there on time?
We should all "chill out" and put up with people being late? Seriously? And you would never again invite someone for dinner because they arrived at the time you asked them to be there? Wow...just...wow. SMH
BTW, this is the US, not Latin America. Here we expect those we invite to our home to come on time.
Oddly, I enjoy having guests come late! And nothing irks me more than those that are johnny-on-the-spot, as they won't be re-invited.
They're due at 7pm, and here I am discovering something really exciting on the Internet. "Oh, please God, let them come at 8pm instead!"
I did massage for 35 years and nothing irked me more than when someone arrived 1 or 2 minutes before the appointment, or on time. That just tells me that person is not very healthy.
In Latin America, according to the Travel Guides I took with me to South America, if the scheduled time is 8pm, in the book, if invited to someone's house, you arrive one hour later. Arrive any time sooner, and you won't be re-invited.
Americans need to relax more, chill out more about time.
Oscar Wilde: Punctuality is the thief of all time!
If someone that invites me to dinner, that I know has a history of being anal about time, I'll find some excuse not to go because it puts too much pressure on me. My invitations: Whenever, whenever!
I don't have Asperger's, but sometimes I have difficulty understanding social nuances and this is one of those times. Why not just invite people for the time you want? If 7 is too early, then invite them for 7:15 or 8. Is it that you intended them to come at 7, but as the day went on you didn't manage your time well and now you are running behind? How would the guests know that? But if it flusters you too much, couldn't you call and tell them you are running late and ask them to come later?
I'm surprised that you think that a minute or two early, especially for an appointment is too early and in anal way. We don't all watches/phones synced to the atomic clock, so there will be a few minutes difference. I thought massage therapists want their clients on time (even doctors o and they are always running late). A client could have cancelled the appointment before, so then it can be good to start the person early.
You said that that "nothing irked me more than when someone arrived 1 or 2 minutes before the appointment, or on time. That just tells me that person is not very healthy." But is it healthy to be so irked by this? Hopefully your clients didn't pick up on it since they were there for relaxation and an angry/stressed therapist could take away from the experience.
I do admit I am kind of clueless about how people procrastinate. I've never used a snooze alarm in my life! It makes more sense to me to set the alarm for 7 and get up immediately then to set it for 6 and keep hitting it every 10 minutes!
Oddly, I enjoy having guests come late! And nothing irks me more than those that are johnny-on-the-spot, as they won't be re-invited.
They're due at 7pm, and here I am discovering something really exciting on the Internet. "Oh, please God, let them come at 8pm instead!"
I did massage for 35 years and nothing irked me more than when someone arrived 1 or 2 minutes before the appointment, or on time. That just tells me that person is not very healthy.
In Latin America, according to the Travel Guides I took with me to South America, if the scheduled time is 8pm, in the book, if invited to someone's house, you arrive one hour later. Arrive any time sooner, and you won't be re-invited.
Americans need to relax more, chill out more about time.
Oscar Wilde: Punctuality is the thief of all time!
If someone that invites me to dinner, that I know has a history of being anal about time, I'll find some excuse not to go because it puts too much pressure on me. My invitations: Whenever, whenever!
Parties, I can see being a little late but you were really mad when people arrived on time for a massage appointment?
Tijlover,so if you were incarcerated and they inadvertently forgot to let you out after serving 20 years...I suppose hanging around another 2 years is okay by you. Yes...that time thing does have a different priority doesn't it?
I'll stick with punctuality. It balances out my internal clock for when I need to rest too.
Many years ago I showed up 20 min early to a friend's place, which took me about an hour to drive from my place to hers. At the time I rang her apartment bell, she told me on the intercom she wasn't ready, so I said "no problem, I know I'm a little early, I'll come back at our agreed upon time."
A few days later I get a letter in the mail from her. She was so angry that she ended the friendship. She had several emotional issues going on and a marriage that had failed, basically lots of things that had nothing to do with me, but she unloaded her crap. I was shocked and saddened.
Fast forward 15+ yrs later, she had been trying to track me down and finally did so, sending me an email, apologizing for her behavior, telling me she knew she was way out-of-line and had felt bad about what she did, had been in therapy working on her issues, and wanted to apologize.
Maybe she was working a 12-step type program and was on the "apologize to those you harmed," I don't know.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That just tells me that person is not very healthy.
