what would you do if your toddler put something in the stroller while shopping and didn't realize it until getting home? (toy, daughters)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The judgy-ness is going both ways - someone asked the basic question and then the people who said that it would matter to them and they would return an item taken without paying for it were told they were liars.
Yes, they are morally obligated to look inside the computer case in case there's a phone number or email address you can contact. Do that, and leave the computer at the lost and found. If you can't find any identifying information, then just leave the computer at the lost and found.
OK, so you acknowledge that you have a moral obligation to return things even if taken accidentally. Therefore it isn't about intent it is about the actions.
Quote:
My opinion on how your "response" to a 2 year old vs a 4 year old taking an item would be the difference in how you go about returning the item. With the 4 year old, that child needs to take responsibility and apologize for taking it, or some other consequence. A 2 year old need not accompany you back to the store, and need not be shamed because they don't understand property rights and money. You just return the item next time you're back in the store, "this ended up in my cart".
I don't understand how the second half is relevant to your supposition about intent.
The judgy-ness is going both ways - someone asked the basic question and then the people who said that it would matter to them and they would return an item taken without paying for it were told they were liars.
Depending on the circumstance, they just might be. It's easy to say that you will do something because you feel a certain way but when confronted with the circumstance, you might not. If the store really is far away and it's not worth returning to it that very day. So then you intend to some day bring it back, but you're busy and life goes on and you forget about the small item you stowed in your trunk or handbag intending to return it next time. It's an easy scenario to imagine and it's hard to believe that no one here will or could wind up in that situation, even those who mean well and are adamant they will return it. I think the intention to return something even minor is great but in reality it may not happen, and I think that's fine if it happens rarely or once.
No one has been treated worse than HighFlyingBird here. And we don't always get along on threads so for me to say that might be a bit surprising, or not, but it's not like we're super friendly. It's pretty appalling what people are saying to her.
My child wasn't in a stroller. He was in the grocery cart, sitting and facing me. And yeah, I honestly didn't see the bungee cord until I had loaded the groceries into the car, and then put my son in his car seat. And then, lo and behold, there was a bungee cord.
Oh...and thanks for the implication that I'm a bad mother who didn't watch her kids. LOL You go girl. LOL
Thanks I'm a guy. Don't feel bad, my wife misses all of that stuff too
The answer is obvious. One returns the item to the store (with the child in tow) and returns it or pays for it. To do otherwise requires a compromise of personal integrity. (Of course, personal integrity is worth more to some people than others).
The value of the item is irrelevant. Yes, a 2-year old probably doesn't understand the concept of stealing. But, parents must teach their children about honesty at some age (?) - ... better sooner than later.
Depending on the circumstance, they just might be. It's easy to say that you will do something because you feel a certain way but when confronted with the circumstance, you might not. If the store really is far away and it's not worth returning to it that very day. So then you intend to some day bring it back, but you're busy and life goes on and you forget about the small item you stowed in your trunk or handbag intending to return it next time. It's an easy scenario to imagine and it's hard to believe that no one here will or could wind up in that situation, even those who mean well and are adamant they will return it. I think the intention to return something even minor is great but in reality it may not happen, and I think that's fine if it happens rarely or once.
No one has been treated worse than HighFlyingBird here. And we don't always get along on threads so for me to say that might be a bit surprising, or not, but it's not like we're super friendly. It's pretty appalling what people are saying to her.
Call me weird, but I consider being told I'm a liar pretty appalling.
And there is a difference between someone who at least plans to return something and then ends up forgetting about it and someone who doesn't feel it's necessary to return an item taken without paying for it.
However, it doesn't mean that the people who say it matters to them to return the item in these kinds of cases don't actually make the effort to actually do so, just because someone else may have a different experience.
When my kid was a toddler, I basically lived at the same 4 stores - Target, Costco, Babies R Us and the local grocery store. I was at each of them pretty much weekly and I even managed to remember to return and exchange many items as needed, so while I don't have a specific recollection whether my kiddo took something without paying, I'm pretty sure I could have taken it back, the same way I took back things that were the wrong size or were duplicates or not needed, since I know I managed to do that on a fairly regular basis.
Call me weird, but I consider being told I'm a liar pretty appalling.
And there is a difference between someone who at least plans to return something and then ends up forgetting about it and someone who doesn't feel it's necessary to return an item taken without paying for it.
However, it doesn't mean that the people who say it matters to them to return the item in these kinds of cases don't actually make the effort to actually do so, just because someone else may have a different experience.
When my kid was a toddler, I basically lived at the same 4 stores - Target, Costco, Babies R Us and the local grocery store. I was at each of them pretty much weekly and I even managed to remember to return and exchange many items as needed, so while I don't have a specific recollection whether my kiddo took something without paying, I'm pretty sure I could have taken it back, the same way I took back things that were the wrong size or were duplicates or not needed, since I know I managed to do that on a fairly regular basis.
So then you don't know for sure? Maybe lying wasn't the right word...but it did get a lot of reps. Maybe not recalling or not having been in a similar situation.
It happened a couple times with my kids. Note, when mine were little, I also had bigs. I remember a couple times something small got stuck behind the kid in the baby seat and once in the stroller. As someone else said...stick a fork in me, I was done by the time I found them. I think I left it in the cart once, once I took the tictacs. I am a very moral person. I haven't even gotten a traffic ticket in my life. But I also don't see things as black and white.
I never return stuff to a store. Its a pain. I just donate it or pass it on. And I always forget to bring my reusable grocery bags. People are different and I have my own set of things that are important.
The OP did say a necklace at one point...I would take a necklace back. But the only time its happened have been minor things.
So then you don't know for sure? Maybe lying wasn't the right word...but it did get a lot of reps. Maybe not recalling or not having been in a similar situation.
It happened a couple times with my kids. Note, when mine were little, I also had bigs. I remember a couple times something small got stuck behind the kid in the baby seat and once in the stroller. As someone else said...stick a fork in me, I was done by the time I found them. I think I left it in the cart once, once I took the tictacs. I am a very moral person. I haven't even gotten a traffic ticket in my life. But I also don't see things as black and white.
I never return stuff to a store. Its a pain. I just donate it or pass it on. And I always forget to bring my reusable grocery bags. People are different and I have my own set of things that are important.
The OP did say a necklace at one point...I would take a necklace back. But the only time its happened have been minor things.
I don't know for sure because I don't have any memory of my child taking something without my noticing. He was a runner and a climber so he was always strapped into the cart or the stroller at that age and I think his opportunity to take something was limited. I do not recall that he ever took something that I didn't put back while in the store or tell the cashier we didn't want it, or I just ended up paying for it. But I'm also willing to concede that perhaps it happened, and I don't recall, a decade plus later. But I do know myself and I always give back excess change or tell a cashier if I'm undercharged (or overcharged for that matter) or if I realize I have someone else's bag mixed in with my items. And yes, both before and since having a kid, I've returned items if they somehow made it home by mistake, or I've at least contacted a merchant. I've done it with online items too, like two pairs of earrings being in the box instead of the one I ordered and calling the seller and being told to keep it, it wasn't worth it to them to deal with the return on it. But at least I gave them the option of making that decision.
My point was that since I know I managed to return and exchange things (especially at BRU!) on a fairly consistent basis, I remain confident that had I made it home with an item I hadn't purchased, it would not have felt like a particular hardship to bring it back the next time, the way I did with items I was purposefully returning.
But the reality is that no, someone who knowingly keeps something they didn't pay for is not a "very moral person." They are a relative moralist, who does what is convenient until it's outweighed by their morals. So a large ticket item may have felt like something that needed to be returned but a small ticket item was justifiable to keep. And that's fine, if that's the choice someone wants to make. But they don't get to say that it's not stealing because it is, regardless of the value. And they don't get to say that people who make a different choice, even when it's sometimes inconvenient, are lying.
You call the company and you offer to pay by credit card, pretty sure most people would make that same call if they got home and found they had been overcharged.
Good luck calling some random street vendor in another country and getting them to accept a credit card. Their card fee would be more than the value of the whistle anyway, you'd be costing them money!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
