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In other words, you have no idea of what help young pre teens with mental problems need. You think you treat them like normal teens is enough. The medical world, has realized you are wrong years ago, and are trying to educate people as to the problems this group of young people have, and how to work with them, so they can develop to at least appear and act normal by the time they are grown.
Sure, so baby them and treat them like victims and don't expect them to follow reasonable rules or standards of behavior. That will do them a lot of good when they're adults and they come to the crashing realization that the larger population isn't going to cater to their whims.
The 12 year old sees her Dad for 48 hrs every other weekend. I don't understand why he doesn't designate that time to be with her and her only. Bringing in your girlfriend and sleeping with her is so sad. It should've been the daughter in bed with her father due to such reduced hours they have together, if anything.
For the girlfriend to spend time with the child outside of those 48 hours is an EXCELLENT idea. Best post ever! The issue is, I don't think she'll put fourth the effort. She calls herself the Fiance yet only sees him weekends though it should be every other weekend due to his obligation to his daughter.
But yes, to want to get to know the daughter as a person herself is key. I suspect this relationship won't last for various reasons though. Hopefully whatever the end result, it is the best for everyone involved.
Are you insane? You think a 12 year old girl should be sleeping with her father and YOU want to foster children.
Definitely do not go through with a marriage to your fiancee until this kid is out of the house! She drives you nuts now, just wait until you have to live with her. I grew up with a stepfather, & it was a good relationship but now as an adult I can see how he really had no say in things - he wasn't my legal parent. Imagine having to live with a situation & not being able to change it. Plus I don't think this situation would be fair to _your_ children. Your first responsibility is to them. Not every blended family will be the Brady bunch.
I NEVER would have married my husband if there were these problems. I just wouldn't do it.
Your life will be in constant upheaval and you will be angry and frustrated all the time.
I wouldn't marry him until these problems are solved. You would be willfully choosing an unhappy life.
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Those given authority over children are able to do this.
We call them parents, teachers, babysitters, nannies, etc...
You cannot just steal property from a 12 year old.
It's against the law as it should be
Shame on you for promoting such against a child
I am a step mom.
My step son, who is 16 owns no personal property. WE do. If we choose to take back his ability to BORROW things like the Xbox or his phone, it is our right and not theft. It is our property.
While I do not necessarily agree that the fiance should be the administering punishments, it is neither assault, nor theft.
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My step son, who is 16 owns no personal property. WE do. If we choose to take back his ability to BORROW things like the Xbox or his phone, it is our right and not theft. It is our property.
While I do not necessarily agree that the fiance should be the administering punishments, it is neither assault, nor theft.
It is assault -AND- theft. They are un-related. She is not her step parent. She's nothing.
Hopefully it will remain such
It is assault -AND- theft. They are un-related. She is not her step parent. She's nothing.
Hopefully it will remain such
I don't think it is, but I have someone I can ask, though he is not present at this exact moment.
I think it is unwise for her to be having physical contact like that, or I guess, I would need further information on "pry" to come to a personal decision on the level of "offense."
Discipline should be discussed between the two adults, on how it will be handled, and then their decision should be conveyed to the daughter so she is aware of expectations.
The danger with a non-parent being the main disciplinarian is multi-dimensional. I do not think it is good for the child, the non-parent or the parent, and the marriage in general.
I disagree that she is "nothing", she is an adult and a future step mom. I actually waited for my step son to go all "your not my Mom!", but at this point, I don't think it will ever happen. But if he did.... my answer was "no, but I am an adult in this household, and have a say in how things run and what is acceptable behavior" or something along those lines....
But the main problem is that the OP and fiance disagree with what is acceptable and how things should be. THAT is a huge problem.
Also, I feel that the OP's frustration is misplaced, it should not be towards the child, but towards the father.
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