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A lot of his notions about how adult-kid interaction looks from the adult side seems strange and theoretical.
Its all "my kids got taught this" and "my sons were told that". There doesn't seem to be any understanding of how kids grow up, that they sometimes misbehave, act out, sneak off to be with their friends etc. It seems like he thinks kids growing up. That you can just tell kids something, and thats them taught. Setting an example? Not neccessary, apparently.
When you say stuff like "the rapists were unable to say no, too, because they were drunk" or that all liberal girls want to do a Clinton, or that its the parents fault, not the rapists -thats what your kids will learn from. You can say "I taught them" till you're blue in the face, but real kids have an unfortunate tendency to absorb and learn more from you than you are trying to teach them.
I've never met a parent who really had raised teenagers who thought and believed they would do exactly what they were told to do at all times. Makes you wonder how much is just made up.
I've never met a parent who really had raised teenagers who thought and believed they would do exactly what they were told to do at all times. Makes you wonder how much is just made up.
I knew a father who literally had the neighbors watch out for his daughter and report if she ever snuck out. She was not allowed to date or go to parties unchaperoned (her brothers). It worked according to him. She's now married and has kids.
Perhaps we should blame the guy who built the house these kids were in, or the manufacturer of red Solo cups. Get a grip, folks. This isn't the fault of the girl who was brutally raped, the parents of the girl or the rapists, or anyone else. There are two people responsible for this crime and they were found guilty. They aren't crying because they're sorry for what they did — they're crying because they got caught. Had they not gotten into trouble, they would have finished out their high school careers drinking, drugging, and raping other girls.
Their sentence is not nearly severe enough for what they did.
I've never met a parent who really had raised teenagers who thought and believed they would do exactly what they were told to do at all times. Makes you wonder how much is just made up.
So you're assumption is that all teenagers will drink until they pass out or start raping those passed out, all teens will lie and stay out all night so parents can just forget making a single rule.
See I don't take that parenting attitude where I shrugged in helplessness as soon as they were born. My kids are home when I tell them to be home and they don't come home passing out from drinking. I think it comes down to parents attitudes toward parenting. If you think your kids will never abide by any rules so you cannot make rules then you're going to have kids who drink and party and stay out all night. If you believe you can set down some rules, then you will.
It's kind of interesting the same posters who say you cannot tell children not to drink, not to go to drunken parties, and that you can not tell them to be home by midnight, and you cannot teach abstinence because kids cannot control their sexual appetites suddenly and kids can never tell themselves no to sex want to put all the blame on these boys -- NOT the adults who let them run free, not the parents who provided the house to party in, not the parents who provided the alcohol, not the parents who provided no rules for their brats.
I knew a father who literally had the neighbors watch out for his daughter and report if she ever snuck out. She was not allowed to date or go to parties unchaperoned (her brothers). It worked according to him. She's now married and has kids.
There are plenty of kids who aren't over chaperoned to death who do not rape other kids.
So what happens when those 17 year olds turn 18 and are out from under your ever vigilant eye? Going to magically turn into responsible people who can handle themselves without you watching over them like a hawk, are they?
I knew a father who literally had the neighbors watch out for his daughter and report if she ever snuck out. She was not allowed to date or go to parties unchaperoned (her brothers). It worked according to him. She's now married and has kids.
Sound like that was back in Chechnya unless you live in Texas in a neighborhood populated with Chechyans (sp?). Why did he have the neighborhood watching her? Did she try to sneak out and got caught and that prompted the neighborhood watch?
Seems strange that she would try to sneak out when she had a father and brothers hovering around her all the time. Where was the mother?
It came into this thread with the opener "rape is normal". No-one rose to the bait, so it kept prodding. I think it is best put on ignore.
While I would not say that rape is normal, it most certainly happens in the animal kingdom on a regular basis. If you'd like an example, search YouTube for "chimp rapes frog." A chimp in a zoo non chalantly picks up a frog, pries his mouth open, then orally assault him for 5 minutes (to the delight of the people in the zoo, including women who can heard laughing "that's rape!"
Males rape,. All of the social conditioning in the world will not change that fact. This is why it is good to teach teenaged girls to not get so wasted they are easily controlled.
So you're assumption is that all teenagers will drink until they pass out or start raping those passed out, all teens will lie and stay out all night so parents can just forget making a single rule.
See I don't take that parenting attitude where I shrugged in helplessness as soon as they were born. My kids are home when I tell them to be home and they don't come home passing out from drinking. I think it comes down to parents attitudes toward parenting. If you think your kids will never abide by any rules so you cannot make rules then you're going to have kids who drink and party and stay out all night. If you believe you can set down some rules, then you will.
It's kind of interesting the same posters who say you cannot tell children not to drink, not to go to drunken parties, and that you can not tell them to be home by midnight, and you cannot teach abstinence because kids cannot control their sexual appetites suddenly and kids can never tell themselves no to sex want to put all the blame on these boys -- NOT the adults who let them run free, not the parents who provided the house to party in, not the parents who provided the alcohol, not the parents who provided no rules for their brats.
No--that's not my assumption, but then you know that, and now you're just trying to shift the discussion. My point is that regardless of what you say as a parent, or the types of boundaries that you set, no matter how strict you are, and no matter the consistent consequences that you put in place, kids from the best of homes, with the best of parents, can and do make mistakes, and they can and do find a way around the rules without your permission. If you don't understand that, then you're setting yourself up for a big fall when your "hypothetical" children actually show you that they're human. As I said earlier, you just hope and pray that the mistakes are small enough that they're not seriously hurt by them, because they WILL happen. They're human beings--not robots programmed by their parents. Human beings, especially kids, make mistakes.
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