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Sex among adults should be CONSENSUAL. That means you don't owe it to someone to not change your mind because of your clothing, your past statements, etc. Ever heard the phrase "no means no?" Everyone reserves the right to change their mind at any time. Forcing someone into sex is a no-no. Wearing provocative clothing may not be a good idea in all scenarios, and it may expose you to risk; however, it still doesn't shift the responsibility away in terms of sexual interactions being consensual.
Do you seriously need this explained to you, or are you playing dumb to make a point?
What about a young female who had passed out in her own apartment (1970's) not having had much to drink, but maybe due to another having slipped her something, making her feel dizzy. After having to go lie down, she becomes conscious briefly to see a guy above her. Fading out again, becoming aware of another male above her. Being unable to function or protest, having also seen the outline of others standing in the bedroom doorway, at some point. That's all that was remembered, except for when realizing when she was alone.
So:
She should not have had the others over to socialize, as she'd had on occasion. (?)
She hadn't known that the other females would not show up that night.
She didn't know or fear that she would be alone with males, being (trusted coworkers).
She did not expect to feel ill, become unconscious or taken advantage of.
She had not expected to need to protect herself.
She just should not have had anything to drink.
She had to be at her workplace with these others, the following Monday.
She would be able to make a claim?
And that is an example of why women have difficulty reporting incidents.
What you describe is criminal and should be reported. If we instill anything into young women today, it is that events like this or even close to this need to be reported to someone--family, police, friends.
Quote:
Originally Posted by In2itive_1
What about a young female who had passed out in her own apartment (1970's) not having had much to drink, but maybe due to another having slipped her something, making her feel dizzy. After having to go lie down, she becomes conscious briefly to see a guy above her. Fading out again, becoming aware of another male above her. Being unable to function or protest, having also seen the outline of others standing in the bedroom doorway, at some point. That's all that was remembered, except for when realizing when she was alone.
So:
She should not have had the others over to socialize, as she'd had on occasion. (?)
She hadn't known that the other females would not show up that night.
She didn't know or fear that she would be alone with males, being (trusted coworkers).
She did not expect to feel ill, become unconscious or taken advantage of.
She had not expected to need to protect herself.
She just should not have had anything to drink.
She had to be at her workplace with these others, the following Monday.
She would be able to make a claim?
And that is an example of why women have difficulty reporting incidents.
We have very little control over our lives and that's scary. We have no control over our mortality and that's terrifying.
So we pretend we have control. We tell ourselves that when other people get raped or murdered or robbed it's because of something THEY did. They went to the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong person wearing the wrong thing and they behaved the wrong way and that's why the Bad Thing happened to them. If I don't do those wrong things, so nothing bad will happen to me!
Little old ladies get raped. Nuns get raped. BABIES get raped. It's not about how alluring they look in their wimples or diapers. Rape isn't about sex. It's about control and power.
This is a great insight. I always wonder about it when I hear a woman express a lack of sympathy towards a rape or sexual assault victim, and I believe this could be part of the reason: to express sympathy is to acknowledge that you yourself could one day be a victim.
I am glad you quoted that post, as I would not have seen it otherwise.
The whole "women fantasize about rape" argument is absurd. First of all, I have no idea if it is true of most women or not, but even if it is, they key word is "fantasize." A fantasy is something in one's head, something over which one has total control. Many people enjoy horror and slasher movies, too, but that doesn't mean they want a real-life one-on-one with Michael or Freddie or Jason. Good grief.
There's nothing wrong with martial arts, and we are teaching our 11 year old daughter how to defend herself if she's attacked.
I’ve got 10 years of martial art under my belt I’m not teaching my wife how to defend herself I’m teaching her that if she’s attacked that she needs to kill the attacker. Rape is a hate crime and if the attacker can still move he won’t stop. A concealed weapons permit is in the works as well.
What about a young female who had passed out in her own apartment (1970's) not having had much to drink, but maybe due to another having slipped her something, making her feel dizzy. After having to go lie down, she becomes conscious briefly to see a guy above her. Fading out again, becoming aware of another male above her. Being unable to function or protest, having also seen the outline of others standing in the bedroom doorway, at some point. That's all that was remembered, except for when realizing when she was alone.
So:
She should not have had the others over to socialize, as she'd had on occasion. (?)
She hadn't known that the other females would not show up that night.
She didn't know or fear that she would be alone with males, being (trusted coworkers).
She did not expect to feel ill, become unconscious or taken advantage of.
She had not expected to need to protect herself.
She just should not have had anything to drink.
She had to be at her workplace with these others, the following Monday.
She would be able to make a claim?
And that is an example of why women have difficulty reporting incidents.
This is precisely why reporting IMMEDIATELY and not 30 years later is of the utmost importance. If they were stupid enough to go raw (most are) then all the DNA evidence is right there. They can do the drug test find the Ropnyol or whatever that drug's name is in her system. If this situation happened with today's technology the conviction rate would be even greater. Security cameras showing her and the co-workers together in the hallway which places the Men at the scene of the alleged crime.
Sometimes you can't prevent it obviously but that's where Women need to be mentally prepared to take the appropriate steps afterwards to get the proper physical evidence to lock the criminals up. But if you can't even place him in the location with anything beyond circumstantial evidence it's going to be a long shot. Place him in the location, establish sex occurred and then establish it was not consensual. Having a positive drug test showing you were drugged helps a lot. That's why getting tested, examined and swabbed immediately is of the utmost importance as well as taking prophylactic meds to address potential STD infection and morning after pill for pregnancy.
Effectively you are asking for gender segregation. Which is actually in-line with what many men have been pushing for for a long time.
Of course, your solution is completely impractical and will never happen, but at least you are on the right track.
Bernie Sanders believes women have rape fantasies. He's said so. On film.
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