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I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy sense of self-esteem or confidence. For most of my life I've been reminded that I'm ugly and not attractive. I'm 18 and back when I was in elementary school, I was bullied pretty harshly because of how I looked. Boys and girls alike used to make fun of me and call me ugly. I have pretty much internalized it now. It's easy to say that they were lying or to not believe it, but I didn't see any other kids getting it as bad as me. I can assume that the only reason that they'd make fun of me and call me ugly is because it really is true. The people who actually had good looks never got made fun of, and I can assume that if I had good looks, I wouldn't have gotten made fun of either. It makes me feel bad when I see attractive people because I know they are constantly reminded of how good they look and they probably know it, but I'm the complete opposite and it's not like it's something that I can control, I was literally born this way.
I wanted to say that self confidence comes from within yourself what you tell yourself. If you think your ugly- than you are. Looks aren't everything and everything shouldn't be about looks. Try to focus on doing things for others. Volunteer. Helping others less fortunate than you can make you feel better about yourself. We all have strengths and weaknesses. Draw on your strengths. What are your interests? Meeting people with similar interests gives you something to talk about and can help you gain confidence.
Just my 2 cents.. hope it helps.
I was a fat, ugly, buck toothed child... and I knew it.
Youth was not a happy time for me.
The good news is that in adulthood we have the power to change our looks!
AND we have the power to surround ourselves more of the time with people who respect us, and less of our time with those who ridicule us.
Everyone of us has great features, and goofy ones.
What we can do is exercise to improve our bodies, and experiment with different clothes, haircuts and overall grooming styles.
I am not going to ask you to magically like your appearance.
What I am going to do is ask you to set about trying different styles, and set about to highlight your strong features in such a way that you look like the kind of guy that you would look up to, and like to hang around with.
If you have obvious but 'fixable' things that stick out in your mind, like acne or misaligned teeth, make it a project to get medical or dental treatment now while you're young.
Mainly, surround yourself with and seek out people who treat you as an individual, and who are confident and content enough not to feel like ridiculing you -- or anybody else.
Two pronged approach:
Experiment with styles, work on fixable problems
Tune into confident, good tempered folks. Tune out those who ridicule
You can choose to dwell on this if you want to
Or you can take it as a simple observation that the majority of people are superficial and derive enjoyment from your unhappiness
Is that a value you are jealous of?
Personally I'd rather look at your face for 24 hours than Kim Kardashian's face or ass for 12 seconds
What will you focus your time contemplating on? Do you have anything useful to you? In these circumstances I would be extremely selfish with my thoughts
I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy sense of self-esteem or confidence. For most of my life I've been reminded that I'm ugly and not attractive. I'm 18 and back when I was in elementary school, I was bullied pretty harshly because of how I looked. Boys and girls alike used to make fun of me and call me ugly. I have pretty much internalized it now. It's easy to say that they were lying or to not believe it, but I didn't see any other kids getting it as bad as me. I can assume that the only reason that they'd make fun of me and call me ugly is because it really is true. The people who actually had good looks never got made fun of, and I can assume that if I had good looks, I wouldn't have gotten made fun of either. It makes me feel bad when I see attractive people because I know they are constantly reminded of how good they look and they probably know it, but I'm the complete opposite and it's not like it's something that I can control, I was literally born this way.
Ask Mick Jagger. Or Steven Tyler. Or Steve Buscemi. Or John C. Reilly.
All of them are less than attractive, and they all are successful, with wives and/or GFs.
Why?? Because people can be attracted to qualities besides looks.
Maybe you are an ugly duckling who hasn't quite reached the swan stage yet?
I was bullied and called ugly, until one day, it started going in reverse. After age 18 I started hearing how good-looking I was. This is partly because I started taking better care of how I looked, as well as exercising to make the most of the body I was given, instead of dwelling on the body image that the bullies had said was so ugly.
My Dad said he had gone through the exact same thing. He was told he was funny-looking, scrawny, bad hair, acne, etc. Suddenly, in his late teens, a girl told him how good-looking he was, and he couldn't believe it. But he started working out and spending whatever $$ he could on good haircuts and clothes, and people started calling him handsome. I look a lot like my Dad, so it was clear to him that I was just going through the same phases he had gone through.
If you have obvious but 'fixable' things that stick out in your mind, like acne or misaligned teeth, make it a project to get medical or dental treatment now while you're young.
Mainly, surround yourself with and seek out people who treat you as an individual, and who are confident and content enough not to feel like ridiculing you -- or anybody else.
Two pronged approach:
Experiment with styles, work on fixable problems
Tune into confident, good tempered folks. Tune out those who ridicule
My teeth are perfect and I don't suffer from acne or anything like that. The way I look is just the problem. My regular default expression makes me look confused or angry, and people always tell me that I look mad when I'm not. I'm just also not very physically attractive, even I can admit that. I haven't actually been bullied in years, but I was never able to let go of what happened. I do actually have a sense of style and I try to dress nicely and wear cologne and stuff like that, but I still feel insecure in the end.
You can choose to dwell on this if you want to
Or you can take it as a simple observation that the majority of people are superficial and derive enjoyment from your unhappiness
Is that a value you are jealous of?
Personally I'd rather look at your face for 24 hours than Kim Kardashian's face or ass for 12 seconds
What will you focus your time contemplating on? Do you have anything useful to you? In these circumstances I would be extremely selfish with my thoughts
I don't actually always think about it. Sometimes I don't think about it and sometimes it makes me feel extremely down. I understand that people can be superficial, but the thing that bothers me is that I got my self-esteem destroyed over something that I had no control over. It's sort of a "Why me?" thing.
Maybe you are an ugly duckling who hasn't quite reached the swan stage yet?
I was bullied and called ugly, until one day, it started going in reverse. After age 18 I started hearing how good-looking I was. This is partly because I started taking better care of how I looked, as well as exercising to make the most of the body I was given, instead of dwelling on the body image that the bullies had said was so ugly.
My Dad said he had gone through the exact same thing. He was told he was funny-looking, scrawny, bad hair, acne, etc. Suddenly, in his late teens, a girl told him how good-looking he was, and he couldn't believe it. But he started working out and spending whatever $$ he could on good haircuts and clothes, and people started calling him handsome. I look a lot like my Dad, so it was clear to him that I was just going through the same phases he had gone through.
Anyway, just something to ponder. Good luck.
I already do dress nicely (at least in my opinion) and I also take care of myself hygiene wise. I shower, brush my teeth, and wash my hair regularly. I am out of shape though, and I'm working on that.
I realize we live in a culture that is obsessed with superficial human qualities. But not everyone is like that. Focus on ACCOMPLISHMENTS instead of appearances. Get involved in activities that genuinely interest you in which you can excel and contribute to the welfare of others.
If you are a bus driver, be the best bus driver you can be and realize you are an important part of many people's day. Work hard at any job you do and develop leadership and communication skills. If you have interests like art, music, sports, politics, etc., etc., develop your skills, get involved with organizations and people. If you are a student, apply yourself to your studies, interact with your teachers, and ask them to help you develop to your full potential.
Keep working on your physical fitness and take good care of your health. In the long run, healthy people look better than pretty people.
Above all, focus OUTSIDE yourself. Don't look in the mirror all the time literally or figuratively. Focus on people by being a caring individual. Focus on places by being a good community member. Keep active. Get out of the house and get involved in life. If you are an interesting person, good-quality humans won't care what you look like.
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