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Trump is the original Christmas ham in a hair-do with an awful personality, to boot. You have to ask yourself how many self-respecting women would really want to be seen out in public with him, no matter how much money he has. You know what the problem is with men who have a lot of money or a lot of power? They all think nobody's as good as they are. They have way too much ego and when they trip over that ego, they look like buffoons. They're embarrassing to be around.
So don't use Trump as a blazing success story. If he's so successful with women, for instance, why can't he keep his wives from divorcing him? Twice now.
Actually OP..BEAUTY is in the EYE of the beholder..and that is due to the shear fact that the BEAUTY is actually NOT on the outside but the inside..in the soul of that person...
Many fall in love with media portraying of beauty..But's actually a false narrative..because many described pretty people are in fact EVIL..and SO MANY have not so beautiful appearances..yet their BEAUTY shines thru despite it!!
Everybody should attempt to make the most of what they have..appear clean, presentable..and conduct their lives respectably....BUT for those that enhance their physical form..needs to ask why?? because outside "Prettiness" will never feed the need to be applauded by your peers!
Course..there is nothing wrong with corrective surgery if somehow accident's or injuries cause deformities or horrific damages to face/body as that is totally acceptable!!!!!!!!
I don't think I'm a bad person on the inside. I've done bad things before (which I regret) but most people like family members tell me that I'm a good and responsible person. However, I wish I just didn't have to be subjected to humiliation because of something that I have no control over (my looks). I don't want any cosmetic surgeries. It could potentially be one of those "downward spiral" things where you do it one time and desire it more due to not being satisfied. I think I'd rather stay how I am.
I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy sense of self-esteem or confidence. For most of my life I've been reminded that I'm ugly and not attractive. I'm 18 and back when I was in elementary school, I was bullied pretty harshly because of how I looked. Boys and girls alike used to make fun of me and call me ugly. I have pretty much internalized it now. It's easy to say that they were lying or to not believe it, but I didn't see any other kids getting it as bad as me. I can assume that the only reason that they'd make fun of me and call me ugly is because it really is true. The people who actually had good looks never got made fun of, and I can assume that if I had good looks, I wouldn't have gotten made fun of either. It makes me feel bad when I see attractive people because I know they are constantly reminded of how good they look and they probably know it, but I'm the complete opposite and it's not like it's something that I can control, I was literally born this way.
I wasn't great looking when I was young, either. Coke bottle glasses, bullied, teased, made fun of, etc. I didn't admit it at the time, but it did take a toll on my self esteem. But I accepted quite young that I was never going to be 'cool', and, in hindsight, it was actually quite liberating. I pretty much did whatever I wanted to do without worrying about what other people thought....That included coming out of the closet as gay at age 18. (I know this is somewhat more normal now for young people, but it wasn't for people of my generation) I was shocked that so many gay men my age got married and had kids before coming out of the closet...doing stuff out of social approval. Since I wasn't popular anyway, doing stuff for social approval and/or to please others just never even occurred to me.
Then I noticed something started to gradually happen as I hit age 35. Tragically, I was better looking than a lot of people my age simply because I wasn't fat. If you don't eat the Standard American Diet (SAD) full of processed foods and red meat, you'll be better looking than most by age 30, if not sooner. Heck, I still don't eat a super clean diet....but I just refused to buy myself a new pair of pants if the waist got tight...I cut back on the junk food eating instead...and eventually eliminated fast food, and have gradually eaten healthier over time (still a soda junkie, though....wish I'd never started!)
I started putting more effort into the things I could control...such as getting a decent haircut. Buying new clothes (no need for a wild spending spree, but good to spend money on decent, non-trendy clothes that are still fashionable and suit you and will last a long time).
I also started swimming pretty regularly (like 3X a week) for about 7 months of the year. I always liked swimming as a kid...and I wish I hadn't waited until I was 35 to get back into it! Then I gradually increased the frequency to about 5 days a week for 9 months of the year (Where I live in Northern California has mild winters and heated outdoor swimming pools). Wow, I really liked the difference I saw in the mirror! Wish I'd upped the ante on that sooner, too!
Another good habit I started in my mid to late 20s was saving and investing regularly. Now, in my mid 40s, I have a lot more financial freedom and flexibility than most people, despite the fact I earn only an average income (below average for the expensive area where I live). See Mr. Money Mustache for more on this. If I lose my job tomorrow, I won't be out on the street in a month or even after a year (or two!). Most people can't say this, including a lot of high earners. Having a high savings rate really takes down the stress levels in life! If you have a job of any kind, get used to putting away at least 20% of what you earn as a bare minimum. Most people won't do this no matter how much they earn. Money alone doesn't bring happiness or self esteem all by itself, but it definitely helps.
I also went through some rough personal times and did a lot of reading on what made people happy. It turns out, humans are bad at predicting what will make them happy. These 2 books were very good reads. I usually don't recommend buying books, but these 2 are worth buying:
I also learned about how to look for a good long term partner. I've still come up short on this one, but a book like Is He Mr. Right?, even though it's written for straight women, has advice that is 90% applicable to people of any gender or sexual orientation.
Bottom line: The key to self esteem is really about healthy habits (exercise, financial, eating) as well as picking something--anything that resonates with you-- and learning to be good at it. It could be volunteer work, yoga, a sport, a martial art, meditation, gardening, religion/spirituality, etc. These healthy life habits, when done consistently over time (think months and years, not days or weeks), will bring self esteem and happiness.
Also, if you are in college or will be at some point, a lot of times you can get cheap or free therapy. If you've been bullied, I think therapy can really help. I know it would have saved me a whole lot of time. I didn't get any until I was 39...wish I'd done that sooner, too. A good therapist can help you see your blind spots so you don't repeat the same life mistakes over and over again ('cause often people and situations can look different on the surface of things, but actually be a repeat of the same old thing wearing a different disguise).
I hope this helps!
Last edited by mysticaltyger; 11-21-2015 at 12:56 AM..
If you have obvious but 'fixable' things that stick out in your mind, like acne or misaligned teeth, make it a project to get medical or dental treatment now while you're young.
Oh, yes, this, too. I didn't get braces until I was 34. Although my teeth didn't look really bad from a cosmetic standpoint, they were starting to grind away at each other from an overbite. It goes soooo much faster when you get braces young. My mom asked if I wanted to get them when I was 16 and I said 'no'. Could've done it on my parents' dime instead of mine and had them off much faster (it took me 4 1/3 years to get them off. The orthodontist will never tell you it will take more than 3 years). Dumb!
I don't actually always think about it. Sometimes I don't think about it and sometimes it makes me feel extremely down. I understand that people can be superficial, but the thing that bothers me is that I got my self-esteem destroyed over something that I had no control over. It's sort of a "Why me?" thing.
YOU are being superficial. There's nothing wrong with the way you look. And you know it. If you're genuinely suffering from cruelty doled out to you in the past (which probably had nothing to do with your looks - you were just easy prey for bullies) then consider some PTSD therapy.
Focus on the problems of others and get your mind off of the things you have no control over. Keep yourself clean, well groomed and practice looking people in the eye and smiling. When someone pays you a compliment about how pleasant you are, THANK THEM and that's it. Learn to be normal like everyone else.
YOU are being superficial. There's nothing wrong with the way you look. And you know it. If you're genuinely suffering from cruelty doled out to you in the past (which probably had nothing to do with your looks - you were just easy prey for bullies) then consider some PTSD therapy.
Focus on the problems of others and get your mind off of the things you have no control over. Keep yourself clean, well groomed and practice looking people in the eye and smiling. When someone pays you a compliment about how pleasant you are, THANK THEM and that's it. Learn to be normal like everyone else.
They made fun of me for how I looked. They would say various things about how I looked and sometimes they would even have the whole classroom laughing at me. It has to be about looks in my opinion, because let's face it, if I did look good it wouldn't have happened to me. If it wasn't about looks, then why would they call me ugly and pinpoint my looks to make fun of instead of something else? I have no problems with making eye contact with people, I do it all the time. I also keep myself clean and well groomed, I shave sometimes and I shower regularly. I even use cologne most of the time when I go out. As for PTSD therapy, I don't think I have PTSD. What I went through was bad, but people who really suffer from PTSD probably went through way worse things than I did.
I feel like I will never be able to have a healthy sense of self-esteem or confidence. For most of my life I've been reminded that I'm ugly and not attractive. I'm 18 and back when I was in elementary school, I was bullied pretty harshly because of how I looked. Boys and girls alike used to make fun of me and call me ugly. I have pretty much internalized it now. It's easy to say that they were lying or to not believe it, but I didn't see any other kids getting it as bad as me. I can assume that the only reason that they'd make fun of me and call me ugly is because it really is true. The people who actually had good looks never got made fun of, and I can assume that if I had good looks, I wouldn't have gotten made fun of either. It makes me feel bad when I see attractive people because I know they are constantly reminded of how good they look and they probably know it, but I'm the complete opposite and it's not like it's something that I can control, I was literally born this way.
In the real world, beauty is less attractive than a guy/gal who can cook and manage the house. "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life..."
In the real world, beauty is less attractive than a guy/gal who can cook and manage the house. "If you want to be happy for the rest of your life..."
There's a lot of truth to this.
And as people get older, being good looking is more about taking care of yourself (not letting yourself get fat, avoiding unhealthy habits & behaviors and practicing good ones).
It does sound like you've got some trauma to work through, Randomguy. I really hope you get some therapy for that. It's one thing that's worth spending money on. If you do the work, it will save you tons of time, money, and trouble in the future, I promise.
Many of us lack a pleasant resting face. My daughter is married to a rather plain looking man who happens to be a very intelligent and caring person. They are crazy about each other and their children are very attractive. People think I am very confident, but there are times I just behave as if I am. Can you practice behaving as if you are super confident? If you do that enough, you'll be surprised that you will become more confident. Ask Google how to become more confident and follow the suggestions. Work on yourself and practice self-improvement.
It's not unusual to see an ugly man married to a ravishing beauty. Look around as you go about the day and see if you don't see such couples. My brother's wife is not beautiful in the classic sense, but she's striking and people seem to notice her because of her demeanor and how she carries herself.
At 18 you may not realize how young you are. By the time you're 25, then 30 you will probably be amused when you think about how you were at 18.
Many of us lack a pleasant resting face. My daughter is married to a rather plain looking man who happens to be a very intelligent and caring person. They are crazy about each other and their children are very attractive. People think I am very confident, but there are times I just behave as if I am. Can you practice behaving as if you are super confident? If you do that enough, you'll be surprised that you will become more confident. Ask Google how to become more confident and follow the suggestions. Work on yourself and practice self-improvement.
It's not unusual to see an ugly man married to a ravishing beauty. Look around as you go about the day and see if you don't see such couples. My brother's wife is not beautiful in the classic sense, but she's striking and people seem to notice her because of her demeanor and how she carries herself.
At 18 you may not realize how young you are. By the time you're 25, then 30 you will probably be amused when you think about how you were at 18.
Yeah, I can't stand my "resting" face. I think that it potentially draws people away from me because they think I'm angry or unpleasant when I'm not. I don't really know how to behave super confidently. I have never been a really confident person. I'm currently practicing self-improvement by setting fitness goals for myself and as stated before, I want to learn how to play a musical instrument.
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Could've done it on my parents' dime instead of mine and had them off much faster (it took me 4 1/3 years to get them off. The orthodontist will never tell you it will take more than 3 years). Dumb! 
