I do not do those house wife things. (how to, guy, lover)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Ah, yes, the implied threat of another woman "stealing your man."
Please. I wouldn't want a man who expects that kind of indentured servitude from a woman. If a man wants that, as Spinx put it so well, he's a pig. Other women can have the pigs of this world. I've got better things to do. I'm not that desperate for a man's company.
I really can't rep you enough. This thread makes me laugh. I can't count how many times my mother warned me that my husband would leave me one day because I don't cook. (We've been married for 15 yrs now).
I work full time and he stays home with the kids and does all the cooking, bill paying and grocery shopping. I do laundry because I prefer to and because he hates it as much as I hate cooking.
The main point though is that we got all this straight BEFORE we got married and before we even lived together. Lucky for me, he was raised by a liberated woman!
For so many years I did all those house wife things and work FT that now I feel blessed that I have a husband that doesn't mind doing those house wife things.
We both live in the house so we both need to take care of it and see it for what it is .....a dirty floor (sweep/mop it)...dirty clothes (load washing machine)....dirty dishes (load dishwasher)....hungry (cook/order take out).
When I got married, I had this crazy notion that marriage is supposed to be about helping each other, not an "assignment of duties".
What is wrong with old fashioned? Man works, woman keeps the house, kids etc.. I dont care what year it is, that doesent mean its right or wrong if you want those things from your spouse. I think its fine as long as you go into a relationship knowing what is expected of you from your partner.
Cleaning, cooking, and laundry are just necessary evils everybody has to do for her/himself anyway, unless they want and can afford outside help. When I'm married I expect my husband to bring home more money and to do the manly stuff around the house, and give me a hand here and there with the rest of the chores, but I consider them generally my responsibility. That doesn’t mean there will be special dinner on the table every day, though. They should be able to find something to eat themselves – they’re big boys! Making something themselves is fine, too! I just don't look at this division of chores as some war.
Sierra
Im just curious but why would you expect your husband to make more money. And if he makes more money does that make his job/him more important. Why do you, and others, feel all the cooking, dish washing, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dusting, picking up, bed making, toliet scrubbing, grocery shopping, refirgerator cleaning, defrosting, oven cleaning, window washing, etc. is your responsibility. Im just curious. I get your point about you have to do it anyway when your single. Avienne made a good counter point on that. As well, why would you do all that after work while an SO just sits there. Wouldnt you expect they should get up and do something. Can you imagine if you came home from work and someone else began cooking you supper, and cleaned up, and you magically had clean folded clothers in your closet and food in the fridge, and the house was always clean and you didnt have to lift a finger. See, I cant even imagine!
I would also like to know, anyone, what is the manly stuff you expect your husband to do for you on a daily/weekly basis.
What is wrong with old fashioned? Man works, woman keeps the house, kids etc.. I dont care what year it is, that doesent mean its right or wrong if you want those things from your spouse. I think its fine as long as you go into a relationship knowing what is expected of you from your partner.
Your right. I dont think anyone really has an objection if one is a SAHP. But even then you shouldnt be expected to pick up/clean up after another adult.
I think the situation is man works, woman works, then woman comes home and is expected to keep house and kids, etc. Even that is ok if, as you said, if you go into the relationship with that understanding, but when a man just expects it because your a woman? Personally, I just dont see how that makes you a real woman or fills you with pride and satisfaction.
I would also like to know, anyone, what is the manly stuff you expect your husband to do for you on a daily/weekly basis.
There isn't anything I expect my husband to do for me. There are things he does that I can't because he is stonger, mechanically inclined, etc. As a general rule, I don't ask him to do anything I'm not willing to do myself (within my capabilities).
Sierra
Im just curious but why would you expect your husband to make more money. And if he makes more money does that make his job/him more important. Why do you, and others, feel all the cooking, dish washing, sweeping, vacuuming, mopping, laundry, dusting, picking up, bed making, toliet scrubbing, grocery shopping, refirgerator cleaning, defrosting, oven cleaning, window washing, etc. is your responsibility. Im just curious. I get your point about you have to do it anyway when your single. Avienne made a good counter point on that. As well, why would you do all that after work while an SO just sits there. Wouldnt you expect they should get up and do something. Can you imagine if you came home from work and someone else began cooking you supper, and cleaned up, and you magically had clean folded clothers in your closet and food in the fridge, and the house was always clean and you didnt have to lift a finger. See, I cant even imagine!
I would also like to know, anyone, what is the manly stuff you expect your husband to do for you on a daily/weekly basis.
Because I prefer it this way - we help each other have better lives than we would on our own, with each one contributing what he/she can do better. I like financial security and worrying about every penny while somebody helps me more with housework doesn't do much for me. I'm not too good at making money, but I'm pretty darn good at managing it.
The manly stuff kind of depends on the type of house. My house right now is almost maintenance-free in big ways. If it were a different house, I would expect him to do the yard work, take care of the garage & the cars, fix/replace things around the house, paint, hang stuff, move heavy furniture , etc. It doesn't look like a whole lot when somebody else does it for you, but all of the above is actually a big problem for me now that I made the unwise (for me) decision to buy a house alone. It wouldn't have mattered in an apartment.
That's not to say he won't participate in ANY of the other activities if I work. Some of them are nasty jobs and get done on more irregular basis. I was talking mainly about routine cleaning, cooking, and laundry. I don't iron, though. The ex who liked ironed shirts did it himself. If I don't work, then no, he won't need to do the rest of the stuff. This scenario is not likely to happen again, though, because even if I do come across such an opportunity, I no longer can muster the trust to put my life into somebody else's hands.
I would also like to know, anyone, what is the manly stuff you expect your husband to do for you on a daily/weekly basis.
I was talking about the division of labor with a friend a while back, and she and her husband had to renegotiate their chores, because they both work full-time, have three kids, and she felt like she was always scrambling to keep up. He had the more traditional "man's chores": cutting grass, taking out trash, cleaning gutters, etc. The problem that she had was that his chores tended to be once-a-week or less often jobs, whereas hers--dishes, laundry, cooking-- were daily. It just wasn't working.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I do not do those house wife things.
