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Sorry, I misread it as "i have 2, 7 and 5 year olds".
You do realize you've got an extreme amount of family dysfunction to overcome, don't you?
Why not call a Women's Shelter right away to get that process of healing started?
That's okay, I remember writing that and thinking that it could be read the wrong way. As far as family dysfunction, I would say no, but I let myself go through this, so something must be wrong, right? I plan on contacting a woman's shelter, but I have to wait for him to leave the home. He's asleep right now but I'm sure it's too late to contact anyone. It's 9:30 pm my time
That's okay, I remember writing that and thinking that it could be read the wrong way. As far as family dysfunction, I would say no, but I let myself go through this, so something must be wrong, right? I plan on contacting a woman's shelter, but I have to wait for him to leave the home. He's asleep right now but I'm sure it's too late to contact anyone. It's 9:30 pm my time
Honey, you are so drowning in dysfunction that you can't see the forest for the trees You need some professional guidance and mentoring, no question.
Just remember, 911 is available 24-7. Though if you don't feel your life is in any immediate danger tonight I encourage you to call a shelter first thing in the morning - it's the best thing for you and your kids.
If your kids truly "come first" then GET THE HELL OUT. Do you think that you're in a good environment for them? Do you really think they don't see what's going on? Wake up, grow up, take one semester off school to sort your life out, and do what is right. You KNOW it's the right thing to do, or else you wouldn't be here for validation.
Don't be an idiot. Your kids deserve better.
I am here for validation. For validation, motivation, support, advice, anything I can get. My mother hated him but none of the rest of my family knows what goes on. My sister knows a good bit, but nothing near the extent. My grandparents want me to stay with him. They don't know everything, but he talks to my granddad and he believes everything that comes out his mouth.
I am here for validation. For validation, motivation, support, advice, anything I can get. My mother hated him but none of the rest of my family knows what goes on. My sister knows a good bit, but nothing near the extent. My grandparents want me to stay with him. They don't know everything, but he talks to my granddad and he believes everything that comes out his mouth.
It's not a good enough reason.
You must realise this is not normal. You don't deserve it and your kids don't.
Don't let them see this and think it's okay.
You do need to get out of this before it gets worse.
That's okay, I remember writing that and thinking that it could be read the wrong way. As far as family dysfunction, I would say no, but I let myself go through this, so something must be wrong, right? I plan on contacting a woman's shelter, but I have to wait for him to leave the home. He's asleep right now but I'm sure it's too late to contact anyone. It's 9:30 pm my time
I don't want to offend, but you posted this looking for help and have made excuses and defenses.
You're not only in denial about the situation with this man you live with (I can't bring myself to call it a relationship), and in denial about your parents or father and family as well.
So my question, What are you looking for from posters?
I don't want to offend, but you posted this looking for help and have made excuses and defenses.
You're not only in denial about the situation with this man you live with (I can't bring myself to call it a relationship), and in denial about your parents or father and family as well.
So my question, What are you looking for from posters?
I know this, that sort of is my point. I'm always making excuses, I always have reasons why it's best for me not to go, and I need other people to hear me and tell me how stupid it is. I need the motivation. I've set my mind to leaving him a million and one times and then I always talk myself out of it, or he talks me out of it. I want to do it, but I'm scared out my mind, I feel I'll regret it or maybe not, I don't know. I have none of the answers. I need to hear from the outside world that this is crazy, I need to hear other people telling me that I can do it better without him, because it's harder than you'll ever know to just get up and walk out that door.
I'm curious as to how you can go to school when you are not allowed to drive. I'm curious as to how a man who doesn't want you to work and sets the alarm so you can't leave the house would be okay with you getting a college education. If you can't get out of the house, you're not going to school. Or is there something I missed?
Putting school on hold for a year is not going to doom you to a life of waitressing. So, that excuse is out.
You can't be an "example" to your kids when you're in the hospital or worse, dead. That excuse is out.
What will happen to them when you do end up in the hospital? Know that it is not a matter of if, but when. Do they stay with the man who put you there? Or do they go to your ex who (a) also treats you like dirt in front of your kids and (b) may not give them back. At this point, he may be the lesser of two evils as far as environment is concerned for those kids.
How can you actually think that raising them in a prison where their mom is getting the crap beaten out of her on a regular basis is better than a life of "poverty and crime", when no poverty or crime will come to them after a mere one or two semesters off? Harm will certainly come to all of you if you stay.
How you manage to convince yourself that those kids don't know or see what's going on must relieve you somewhat, but the truth is they will see it and they will know about it. If he is punching you as hard as you say he is, they will remember the bruises. They will figure it out eventually. It will affect them and their relationships when they get older.
I'm not going to shame you for what you are going through. There are probably plenty of reasons why you found yourself in this position, given this is not your first abusive relationship. And it is not your fault that he is what he is.
However, I am not going to humor what I see to be nothing but excuses to stay. I am not going to praise you for this image of self-sacrifice you are trying to put forth. There is nothing honorable or admirable about what you are suggesting. It nothing short of insane. This has nothing to do with the well being of those kids, it has everything to do with you wanting to stay. And at this point, you are the biggest risk to them. You are failing to protect them just by being there.
You will leave when you are ready, but don't think all this "sacrifice" is going to be any comfort to you or your kids when something goes terribly wrong.
Every young woman that is thinking about quiting school and moving in with some bozo should have to read your post. From looking at your back ground you are not a very good role model for your own kid. Get your shyt together, get a job, get a life and stop moving in with every low life that wants to use you for a punching bag. Your life is what happens when a young person makes really bad choice's and doesn't get an education. Once you leave home, you are responsible for yourself. Make a baby and then you are responsible for another person, and it gets worse from there.
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You need some professional guidance and mentoring, no question. 
