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When you leave permanently...let the alarm go off.. the police will come by and then you have the opportunity to tell them what hes been doing. You can also make reports on the past crimes.
Yeah, I was certainly going to leave the alarm going off. The apartment complex can't even shut it off because he went in and changed the master code also.
Its not enough that they are your babies and you want them. That is not a good enough reason to keep them away from their dad or to keep them with you in this particular situation. That being the first answer you came up with, along with everything else you've said is very telling.
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And though I've said throughout this forum that they are happy and don't know of anything beyond some arguments here and there, I was just confronted by another poster on how she was 5 and though it was behind closed doors, she certainly knew. So yeah, that excuse is out. I will do what I have to do to protect them, but handing them over to their dad is at the bottom of that list.
Something else to think about. Is he the kind of man you want your kids to be? I'm not talking about the "best friend" he portrays in front of them, (and I'm sure everyone else). I'm talking about the man YOU know him to be. Do you approve of a man who is one thing with your kids and another with you, someone who is forcing your kids to live a lie? Would you not have felt betrayed if you found out that someone you trusted growing up was forcing your parent to live the way you are now? Do you think he is sparing them witnessing the abuse for their sake, because he cares for them?
Ready, he sounds like a phsycopath and you are in a prison right now... These abusers do this because they want complete control over you.Which he has..... It`s a power trip for these type of people. Please leave...
I still don't understand why staying with the grandparents can't be considered...
My grandparents would take me in and they'd help me a great deal. They're hitting an age where they might not be here much longer and I don't know if I want the last of their years to be spent practically raising me and two children. Before my mom passed, I was constantly calling her cause "bob" would hit me, pour a coke on my head, or whatever, and I wanted out so bad and she wanted me to leave him so bad. She died with one of the last conversations we ever had being about how some man is abusing me and she was scared out her mind for me. I hate that.
Something else to think about. Is he the kind of man you want your kids to be? I'm not talking about the "best friend" he portrays in front of them, (and I'm sure everyone else). I'm talking about the man YOU know him to be. Do you approve of a man who is one thing with your kids and another with you, someone who is forcing your kids to live a lie? Would you not have felt betrayed if you found out that someone you trusted growing up was forcing your parent to live the way you are now? Do you think he is sparing them witnessing the abuse for their sake, because he cares for them?
I don't have any words of validation, support or advice for you because you don't deserve them. It's all been said and given already and you're still making excuses. There's plenty of women out there who have made it on their own working full time jobs, taking care of their children and earning their degrees at night.
I can only hope that your children's father finds out about this and gets them taken away from you for their sakes. Stop trying to glorify yourself to an internet audience by claiming to be the martyr in this situation. You have plenty of options and have done the only thing that shouldn't be an option; staying. You're a selfish person and a poor excuse of a mother.
While I completely understand why you would be concerned about the basic needs (adequate food, shelter, clothing, etc) of your children being met, I think you also need to think about the psychological and esteem needs of your children. This abusive relationship you're in could have much larger psychological repercussions on them later. I know you say they aren't witnesses to the abuse but kids are a lot smarter than people give them credit for and if they don't see it already they will see it later down the road as things escalate, which I'm sure they will. Guys like this one don't get better over time, they get worst. If your kids had to choose between nicer clothes or a happier/safer mom then don't you think they would pick the latter? If you sacrifice your own happiness for a more financially secure lifestyle for your children, don't you think you might eventually resent them in the future? Have you ever given thought to that? Don't put that kind of burden on yourself or your children. Does your school offer free counseling to their students? I think you should see a counselor or social worker as soon as possible. There are options available for you but you have to seek them out and act. Everyone on this board and their mother can tell you to leave but you'll only do that when you're ready. For the sake of yourself and your kids I hope you have the realization soon. Counseling might help you reach that conclusion faster.
My grandparents would take me in and they'd help me a great deal. They're hitting an age where they might not be here much longer and I don't know if I want the last of their years to be spent practically raising me and two children.
I understand your concern, but desperate situations call for desperate measures, and you ARE in a desperate situation! You're conscientious, so I'm sure you'll do your best not to burden them. Having a safe roof over your head is enough. They'll be happy to help you! That's what families are for!
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