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Man Vanilla you sound like the girl for me.I to am a gypsy at heart, don't have kids and want an easy non stress job.I have lived in many different cities and would love to travel overseas.I get the why won't you growup speech all the time, as if spitting out a bunch of kids and buying a house I can't afford is the responsible thing to do.I see these people all the time as I look into their dead eyes draging their brood of failure into the local Wal-Mart. No Thank You.
Man Vanilla you sound like the girl for me.I to am a gypsy at heart, don't have kids and want an easy non stress job.I have lived in many different cities and would love to travel overseas.I get the why won't you growup speech all the time, as if spitting out a bunch of kids and buying a house I can't afford is the responsible thing to do.I see these people all the time as I look into their dead eyes draging their brood of failure into the local Wal-Mart. No Thank You.
I don't know why people gotta be so nasty about children. I don't have any kids, but I don't refer to children as a "brood of failure".
I too, want a more simple life.I Don't go around talking shyt about others and their choices.
I think you can do what you like. I wonder what part of the country you live in???? I live in California and I can't imagine people looking down on anyone just because they're 30 & single with no kids
In any case, the only issue I might have with your lifestyle is if you're not putting any money away for hard times or for retirement. I think that's irresponsible, and could quickly turn your "easy" life into a very difficult one.
But if you can afford your shopping sprees but are still putting money aside (you know, like 10% for emergencies & 10% for retirement), then that's fine in my book.
I would add, though, that some people start to find a life of shopping sprees gets a little boring and empty. You're only 30, so that feeling might not have crept in yet...but just realize that a lot of people use materialism as a way of filling something that's missing in their lives. I'm not saying you're doing that...just something to be aware of.
I'd also say being single gets harder as you get older (at least for most people, men in particular). At 30, you're not feeling that yet, but you might start feeling it at 35 or 40. And then you might start wanting to have a mate only to find out that the dating pool is really thin by the time you hit that age.
I am a little suspicious of that term "easy life". That indicates to me you don't see the downside of the way you're living (and there's always a down side to any lifestyle choice). I thought the same way as you when I was 30...but my perspective changed when I hit 35, and I started seeing that the life I'd chosen for myself DID have a downside that I wasn't aware of. This is not to say you should't be doing exactly what you're doing...just that you need to be aware that there's a downside to your lifestyle that may not be apparent to you now.
Or maybe some people just like material goods. I'm materialistic. I admit it. I'm materialistic, but I'm also lazy, so I've accepted the fact that I might never have certain things that I want (ex: new luxury car). But I'm not as materialistic as some people...for example, I hate McMansions. Since I don't plan on making a lot of money, I don't want kids because they would be a financial burden. I don't want to get married because getting divorced would be a financial burden (especially with kids). Pardon me for wanting to spend my money on stuff I want instead of a wife and kids. I might never have a new luxury car, but I would rather buy the best car I can afford instead of wasting that money on kids.
I guess the best way to describe my materialism is this: I'm not one of those money-hungry people who wants to make a lot of money just so I can spend it on material goods. I'm someone that wants to spend what money I do have (more like will have) on stuff I want.
And if I remember correctly, you're gay. It's hard to compare dating and single life for homosexuals vs heterosexuals.
Last edited by city_data91; 11-12-2010 at 09:30 AM..
I am 30 years old and have no children. I don’t think I ever want children, or to own a home, because I would rather do without the responsibility of either. I like shopping sprees and being able to go on holidays whenever I please.
I have a very cushy job which includes massages every week and requires next to no really hard work.
I find that others often make me feel guilty for the life I lead. They make me feel lazy, irresponsible and immature because I have not chosen the same 2 kids, big house, mortgage, years in college to work a 12 hour a day job, that they have.
They tell me there “comes a time, when you have to settle down”.
Oh…?
I'd like to be introduced to whoever is making these rules for my life.
Is this just jealousy?
Nothing wrong with it at all.
I'm 31, never been married and don't have kids.
I don't want kids either. Would want to get married though and own a townhome- I don't like yardwork!
No point in having kids if you don't truly want them- you would probably only resent them later. Not everyone wants to be a parent- there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I don't think there is such thing as an easy life because even if pampered to death, the mind will always find something to complain about; the ego will always have something it wants just beyond its reach. How hard or easy life is is largely a state of mind. A queen can be trapped in her own mental prison while a beggar can be pleased with his situation.
I am 30 years old and have no children. I don’t think I ever want children, or to own a home, because I would rather do without the responsibility of either. I like shopping sprees and being able to go on holidays whenever I please.
I have a very cushy job which includes massages every week and requires next to no really hard work.
I find that others often make me feel guilty for the life I lead. They make me feel lazy, irresponsible and immature because I have not chosen the same 2 kids, big house, mortgage, years in college to work a 12 hour a day job, that they have.
They tell me there “comes a time, when you have to settle down”.
Oh…?
I'd like to be introduced to whoever is making these rules for my life.
Is this just jealousy?
You live your life to suit your requirements and what you as an indiviual want out of life.
It is liberating having no mortgage,working in a cruisey job and to top it off being child free. More power to you. Don't allow any outside influence to change you until/if you are wanting to change.
Don't fall for the so called 'settle down myth', you can settle when,how and where you wish without any of the main stream interventions. More than likely a little jealously involved by some.
A lot of folk don't care for those following another path in life and being different at times comes at a cost. Long as you are prepared for that possibility...
DO NOT LISTEN TO THESE CLOWNS! It's jealousy, pure and simple. They want to suck you into their sheeple-world so they can bleat with pleasure when you get sheared.
My friend is 30, also does not want kids - the abuse she puts up with from family and so-called friends is amazing. She makes good money doing what she enjoys and makes her own hours - can't beat that.
Be yourself, listen to your heart and ignore the rabble. Enjoy your life!
100% agree. Hard for some folk at a certain age to go against the norms. Kids seems a big one especially when all women around one seem totally obsorbed with child raising.....
I don't think it's jealousy (I'm sure some may be, but I don't think you can make the blanket statement that everyone is jealous).
However it is probably more that they are traditional in their thinking and traditionally, people settle down. For so many years that has been the way it is. People get married, have kids, settle down.
I'm not saying that's how everyone is, just that it's kind of the 'stereotype' if you will. To each their own, the times are changing.
And a number of folk feel not a little uncomfortable being around those folk whom fail to endorse traditional lifestyles,be that in work or having children or whatever.
As for times changing,well at times i feel they changed in the past only in more recent times to have returned to more conservative attitudes again.
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Anyone who makes you feel guilty for choosing NOT to follow the spouse-house-kids thing is most likely brainwashed by mainstream society and the entertainment media into thinking that's something you should do. Once you shove those claims (and popular opinion* in general) out of the pros-and-cons calculus, you find that you have to have a spouse, house, and kids because...well, um, <hims, haws, stutters, sputters some more> uh....well...uh...because society says so, I guess!!
The way I see it, humanity is gonna go extinct one day anyway (through the "heat death" of the universe, if by no other way). So why waste your own time and energy investing in something that's not going to last forever anyway? Therefore, I see no point in having children. I admit this argument doesn't work when it comes to supporting yourself, for ..as one poster said earlier...you do have to fund your retirement somehow. Still, that's a different matter from refusing to procreate.
Beyond this, IMO, one should only make marriage a priority if they plan to have kids. So for me, committed child free (to say the least), I see no point in having a spouse either.
Material goods: Depends on why you do invest time and money in them, and what kinds. For me, I choose to live a minimalist lifestyle, as I know that all the material goods in the world won't give me happiness. Therefore, material goods are a waste of money anyway (especially goods that necessarily depreciate over time), so don't buy any more depreciating goods than you absolutely HAVE to. Anything else beyond that is - hate to be harsh, but - ultimately mere egotism. Instead, shop for your clothes at Target. Buy a medium quality PC rather than one that's show-off material (it'll be obsolete soon anyway). DON'T buy this year's car model and buy a "program car" the dealership buys from car rental agencies - the resale value of a new car drops by a MINIMUM of 30% as soon as it's driven off the lot (50% isn't too far fetched either). So if you have to have material things, make sure they are likely to appreciate in value over time (or at least stay reasonably stable over that time).
The lifestyle people say you have to lead -- it doesn't give you freedom, it's just MORE peer pressure to keep up with the Joneses and "be like us or be dissed". This is especially true if you have kids, who are likely to be swallowed up in that mentality due to youth peer pressure, no matter what values you personally teach them. Why the hell do you want that? The simple life is actually great.
Beside the retirement-funding issue, the only other real downside is that you have to be more than averagely conscientious about your health and diet, because you won't have a spouse around to tell you something's different (in a bad sense) about you. But if you do an 80% veggie diet, the balance with rice and non-red meat (or, if you prefer, a non-animal high protein source), plus raisin bran and fortified cereal, you should be fine.
Snide Remark Alert: Yeah, you just knoooow it has real substance and intellectual content when "popular" prefixes that anything. LMAO!
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